(Closed) Depressed bride to be

posted 6 years ago in Emotional
Post # 3
2009 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: November 1999

You staying or leaving will not make a difference.

Shes happy to have you and your sisters right where she likes you.  So, this is a threat to her current reality.

In time really, she will accept it or you will have to talk to her and tell her that while you’re not replacing her, you cannot be her social life.

Continue with your plans, try to include her if you can and try not to low her to make you feel bad about starting your life.

Post # 4
1938 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: July 2012

I don’t mean to sound harsh but it sounds like your mother is being very immature. 

It seems to me that she is feeling replaced by your Fiance, so she is going out of her way to make you feel replaced by someone else as well. 

Best case, this can be solved with a simple sit down and talk to her.

Most extremem case, I would suggest family counseling. This is something that needs to be nipped in the bud. 

I feel for you, I am EXTREMELY close to my mother, especially so since I am an only child. I don’t know what I would do if she and my Darling Husband didn’t get along… it would be a horrible situation to be in. Hugs! 

Post # 6
1697 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: June 2012

You can not reason with an unreasonable person. She is being unreasonable, I am not however, judging her as it seems to be painful for her to “lose” you. I like how pp said her reality is being rocked. I have a very unreasonable mom who took my engagement hard and made things very hard for us. She made me cry so much in the beginning and after awhile I was able to let it go, stand up to her and set her straight. It took awhile though. Once I stood up to her ( and my sister gave her a piece of her mind) she got over it…for the most part. Hugs to you, be strong and TRY not to let her take this happy time away from you. Trust me I know it is so much easier said than done!

Post # 7
2577 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: June 2010

Your Mother sounds as though she needs to ‘cut the apron strings’.

Her happiness should not be fully dependant on having you around/ having your attention all the time, this is co-dependance, and is not healthy.

Post # 8
3303 posts
Sugar bee

She will eventually get over it so don’t give in to her bad behavior.

Post # 9
59 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: December 2012

You need to have a serious talk with her; there will be tears, but it’s necessary.

When a mother questions your choice of a partner, you need to try to understand what her worries are, and whether she’s right or wrong. If you are 100% confident about your FH, then she just has to deal with it. And as harsh as this may sound, make it clear to her that your husband will always come first, as parental intrusion may severly damage a marriage. 

Update: I just read your second post on this thread, and I now am convinced that you are right, and she isn’t. Try to picture the hardships of her infancy, and you may find clues as to why she acts the way she does… I’ve done this with my parents in the past, and it worked (I wasn’t able to “change” them, but I was able to accept them).

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