depressed :( need some advice!!

posted 3 years ago in Emotional
Post # 3
Member
3016 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: July 2014 - Prague

@myweddingbee:  I’m sorry you’re having a rough time. People get busy with their lives and forget to support others. But it sucks, doesn’t it.

As for your cousin– if your wedding is in four months, I think that’s far enough away from your cousin’s to warrant your own parties. Don’t let anyone pressure you into “sharing” if you dont’ want to!

Post # 4
Member
1021 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: September 2014

@myweddingbee:  i learned quick that no one cares about my wedding as much as i do.

Post # 5
Member
11740 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 1999

Unfortunately, while this is one of the biggest days of your life, it isn’t to other people.  Your friends are probably busy with their own lives.  Have you asked anyone for help, either related to the wedding or to the move? Sometimes all you need to do is make it known that you need help!

As for your cousin — you have four months between your weddings.  This isn’t stealing your thunder. 

Don’t stress over this stuff, and definitely don’t be depressed over it!

Post # 6
Member
852 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: June 2013

@myweddingbee:  sorry to hear that you are depressed…..

My cousin got engaged about a few months prior to my wedding.  She had been with this guy on and off for years.  Most of the family had never even met him.  So my wedding turned into a meet a greet and it was a little odd for me.  In a weird way, I felt a little upstaged because more family seemed concerned with her engagement then the wedding that they were actually attending (not to mention that a good portion of the family had yet to meet my new DH). 

I would definitely have separate bridal showers and bachelorette parties.  You deserve to have your own and be the star of the day……

Please keep focusing on your wedding…… 🙂

 

 

Post # 7
Member
703 posts
Busy bee

@myweddingbee:  i genuinely think that once ppl have their day they don’t care so much anymore! they’ve already moved on mentally from weddings to other stuff! the ppl that are most excited for me are my single friends! One friend who has just recently got married keeps reminding me of how wonderful her day was, and doesn’t let me get a word in edgeways about our wedding!! all my sisters are married with babies etc, so they’re priorties have changed!! as for this stealing thunder thing, i don’t actually get that. Have seperate showers etc, you shouldn’t have to share unless you want to.

Post # 9
Member
24 posts
Newbee

I agree with the ladies about the parties. You shouldn’t have to share unless you want to. It’s your party, your day, you’re getting married first. Your cousin can wait.

As for the excitement from people…I can honestly say that I’ve felt no excitement from my FI’s family. My sister is the only one super excited and planning my wedding. At times I’ve felt sadden by it but in the end, as long as I’m happy and excited, who cares? It’s going to be your wedding and you’re marrying the man you love, that’s what should matter most.

Post # 10
Member
1500 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: August 2013

1. Split your parties

2. If you really really need help, make them very discrete. Like, “Hey I really need someone to do X for me by Y, I’m swamped these days, would really appreciate a little support!” 

3. Ask people one by one, personally, they might help more

4. If the task is hard, then hire someone else to do it. I ended up getting wedding planners as I didn’t want to bother anyone with my wedding to-do’s

5. Forget about your cousin and stolen thunder! Just continue to celebrate and be happy and look forward to the big day – it will all be okay!

 

Sorry I don’t have a lot to say to cheer you up, but I hope that my action-driven advice has helped a little!

Post # 11
Member
573 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: April 2014

Sounds like you are just being hormonal. No judgement here, I go through it all the time. 

I personally would much rather do these things myself. It gets stressful and agitating when you have people offering to help you, and they end up doing more damage and good. 

I think every bride will AT LEAST ONCE feel like their thunder got stolen, for some reason or another. I don’t have any advice other than what I did, I sucked it up and stole my thunder back the day of my wedding. 

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