Post # 1
Hi after years of suffering I’ve been put on anti-depressants for chronic major depression. I was initially against AD’s for various reasons but have decided to take them as nothing else has helped. I would like to hear from anyone who has suffered from depression and how it has affected your marriage/relationships with men. Or have you SO’s had depression and how have you’s dealt with it. Thanks in advance.
Post # 3
I was diagnosed with major depressive disorder at age 16 and have been on medication on and off since then. It’s HARD!!! I hate having to take a pill every day to be “normal”, but I hate myself when I’m not on them. I can’t imagine how others can put up with me not on meds since I can hardly do it myself. Luckily, Fiance is very patient, although he doesn’t really understand what I go through. He doesn’t understand why sometimes I just break down crying because I feel like I can’t do it anymore, but he’s always there to hold me until I’m ok.
In my past relationships, the guys have been less than understanding. I’ve had it thrown in my face that I was “crazy”. Needless to say, counseling was definitely needed after that. I’m a huge proponent of counseling. I dare say that it has saved my life.
Post # 4
I hit depression when I was around 21, and I got put on anti-depressents. I was the total opposite, and hated taking them. They made me horribly sick and me not care about anything. I stopped taking them and made lifestyle changes, and got better mentally over time. I know this probably isn’t the case for a lot of people because I know people who just have to take them, but I feel like it all matters on who you surround yourself with and how you look at life. I know exercise helped me a lot too.
Post # 5
I suffer from depression. I do not take meds as mine is controllable for the most part. When I relaize that I am going through a funk I typically change my habits and that will help kick start me going again.
Post # 6
I suffer from depression and have since a child. I had a bad break some years ago, a major breakdown. Antidepressants had been suggested to me before but I had always resisted. That time around though, it was just too much, I couldn’t stop crying all day, every day. I finally began to take them. It took some adjusting of type and dose, but you would never know I am depressed now. I’ve been on them since about 2007, I think, and my doctor wants to reduce my dose now. I’m a little bit scared.
One of the ways she convinced me was explaining that the medication creates a sort of shock absorber that alleviates some of the mental pain so that you can get down to the business of making yourself better instead of just dog paddling in place to keep your head above water.
A friend was wondering whether or not she should go on them, afraid that it would in some way affect the truth of her personality, the naturalness of it. For me it’s like having a migraine. That might be entirely natural but it’s not the “real” you when your’e suffering from one.
I think, in regard to your question about men, it allowed me to build up a capacity to enjoy, to be happy, to just “be” in some kind of serenity, that allowed me to open up to love when it did come my way. And though my Fiance is very supportive, it would be unfair to ask him to do *all* the heavy lifting of my mental illness, when there is medication to help. I can’t impose that kind of demand on him, it wouldn’t be right.
In the depths of my depression though I know I would just have been completely unavailable, unable to feel the kinds of good things that being in love and loving and accepting love are all about. The medication was a godsend in many ways, but I credit it for this, among others.
I hope this helps. I do feel for you and hope you find your way out of this. There *is* a way. It’s a long hard slog, but there is a way out.
Post # 7
I was diagnosed with manic depression at the age of 14. I was on medicine for 5 years. I was labeled crazy, a bitch, controlling, etc. My emotions DID get the best of me at some points.
What I did for myself?
At the age of 19, I stopped all medication. I decided to stay single (after breaking up with my ex of 3.5 years) and get my life situated. It took me some time to get wehre I needed to be, but I eventually did. I decided in July 2008 that I wanted to go back to college. I signed up that day, took the placement test, and scheduled classes. I went to school for two years. Unfortunately, I never received an associates because I was a few credits short. My depression got the best of me, but I haven’t given up. I took classes to get into the healthcare field. I am now a nurse’s aide at a psych hospital and plan to go back to school for nursing.
Fiance and I met in 2009. I just turned 21. We hit it off great. He made me extremely happy and I didn’t have to worry about my possible depression/emotions getting in the way. He proposed Christmas Eve 2010 and we plan to get married some time next year.
I had given myself time to figure out who I was, how I can control how I feel, etc. It was the best time off from any sort of relationship in awhile.
Post # 8
I had major depression that started in my mid-twenties and I think it contributed a great deal to the failure of my first marriage. I did go on AD and things got better for a while after but I was still suffering.
Turns out I had undiagnosed Bi-polar II which manifests mainly as depression but requires different medication to control. But a lot of damage to relationships occurred in between that time. I met my husband after I got things under control and I’m doing a lot better. Taking the medication is so important-it WILL help you once you get the right levels in your system.
As far as it altering your personality, it does and it doesn’t. I still feel like me but more muted. I really, really miss those mini-manic episodes. Because as crazy as they were, I felt so much more creative and productive. I accomplished some majorly exciting and interesting things in those days. But as much as I am tempted to stop the medication just to get that feeling back, I won’t. The potential damage to relationships and life is just too great.
So take your meds and take care of yourself. You will be able to have good, stable relationships if you do. Good luck:)