- 4 years ago
- Wedding: March 2013
So I didn’t know where else to put this… A short recap, my husband and I met four years ago. It was rocky in the beginning because we were both 22 and very fond of drinking for the first six months. We had fantastic times and hard times from being too drunk and learning too much about our pasts. But he stepped up to the plate and we stopped drinking together six months in, making our relationship as close to perfect as possible. Everyone commented on how happy and healthy our relationship was and things were going wonderfully. Until one fateful nigheh where my health took an unexpected turn and I nearly died on our friends living room floor. It took almost six months for me to pull out of the depression that night caused. For a few short months everything was back to bliss and we got engaged. Two weeks after the engagement my health turned again (come to find out its something I have to live with for the rest of my life because of a stupid eating disorder I had as a teen and in my early 20s) and I slipped into the deepest depression of my life while planning my wedding. The wedding was a great distraction but it didn’t cure the depression. We had a good time on our honeymoon but since the depression I’ve been more jealous, I’ve been more lazy around the house, I’ve been a cruddy wife. My husband says I’ve been great, he just wants me to go out with him more but I know I’ve been crappy.
i didn’t want to admit nor did I think I was depressed, I’d never been truly depressed in my life so I didn’t think that’s what it was but none the less I’ve been in therapy for six months working on these issues.
because of me though our relationship suffers, because of this dark cloud that looms I’ve dampened our wedding, our marriage, even starting a fight on our wedding day. I can tell its effecting him, he tries so hard to not upset me and to make me happy, but I try to tell him I have to make myself happy but he doesn’t get it. It’s a lot for him to think he can cure my depression and I can see it makes him feel like he’s not good enough but he is. He is incredible. He is the most amazing man I have ever met and when I’m with him I feel so much better than when he’s away, but he doesn’t see this and he doesn’t get that the depression won’t just go away by him being wonderful to me. It helps, but I feel like he’s putting too much pressure on himself to make me happy.
i worry that in the long run this will cause more problems and possibly break him making him want to give up, I’m shocked he hasn’t already. I want him to know how much he makes me happy seven though it doesn’t always show and I want to do something today to show him his actions are noticed and I appreciate them and reassure him tha our marriage is one of the only (that and my faith) sources of happiness I have at the moment. Any ideas on how to do this?
ive denied depression since starting therapy but at my appointment on Wednesday I think I will bring it up and start to work on that, it’s been all about anxiety and my OCD up until this point. I just feel so bad and want to do something to show my husband his efforts aren’t unnoticed and I love him dearly. I already planned a day of us hiking today which we haven’t done in ages, but I want to do something more.
if you have battled depression, what helped n you keep your significant other? I make a point to always be upfront and honest with my husband, talk about any concerns and assure him of my adoration toward him but I feel like I should be doing more. Any advice in general would be welcome. Help me not ruin my marriage when it’s just getting started please