Bee’s I was going to write this incognito. But decided not to.
I’m so glad you were so brave. No one should be ashamed of these feelings. Thank you for speaking publicly.
Here lately (the last few months) I’ve felt really sad. Not just like boohoo no one likes me, its a really deep sad, that I can’t shake, no matter what I try. And there is really no reason why.
Has anything changed in the last few months? Diet, meds, schedule, living situation, etc? Bone-deep daily sadness with no specific cause is definitely not normal and you need to seek help. I’m glad you’re recognizing this problem starting to reach out. I wish I could give you a bug hug.
I used to think it was that I hadn’t dealt with my mom dying (8 years ago, I was 14). But I really have been okay, and proactive with that situation.
I’m so sorry for your loss. I haven’t lost a parent, however my older sister died suddenly when I was 12. Don’t feel like you should “get over it already” or let anyone tell you anything like that. There will always be times when you miss her and wish she was there. Remeber that she would want you to have a happy and full life.
I thought it had something to do with school. And for some reason, I feel like it does. I hate school, I don’t want to go back to college. I’m enrolled for one class this semester, after being kicked out.
Hmmm. Why are you going? If you’re going to college for any reason other than it will help you get your dream job – stop. College is not for everyone. Do something that makes you happy. Don’t go back to school unless its something you really want to do. (Just my opinion- others will tell you I’m wrong.)
Could have been FI’s mom dying about 18 months ago. Maybe. I had a hard time with that. Fiance and I, when she passed, had been together 6 years. So she really did become my second mom. And I think I’ve been okay with that. I feel good. I feel like whatever higher power there is, God, Spirits, whomever. Gave me her for a reason. I had a second chance with a mom. And I knocked it out of the park I think. His family is great.
Again, I’m so sorry. I’m glad you seem to be at peace with this. Remeber to be sensitive to your Fiance. He may still be dealing with his grief and lash out in unexpected ways that stem from this loss. Be patient and very aware of this.
I really hate my father. And I’m trying to come to terms with that. I love my father. But hate him. He complains about everything. And I’ve tried to tell him, but he just doesn’t listen. His girlfriend lives with him, and she’s the same way. Everyone is out to get her. Against her. Her son screwed them over. And now shes got her sons 2 daughters who are (excuse my french but there is no better word for it) ROYALLY fucked over. I won’t go into details. But the older one just turned 8 and she’s going to school for the first time. The younger has Fetal Alcohol, and siezures and was never treated for it. And the older one had to care for the younger one. It’s really sad.
What an awful situation. I keep toxic people at arms length. My ex-step-mother was horrible. I’ll save you the details, but she was awful and brought out the worst in my dad. They made eachother miserable as well as everyone around them. I kept my visits very short and infrequent and let them complain to whoever chose to spend time with them. I always let my dad know I loved him, but I don’t like talking about his drama or being around his wife. Now he has left her and met the most wonderful woman. We have dinner together on a regular basis. He’s health and active and for the first time in my memory – happy. Wish you the best with your situation.
I haven’t talked to Fiance about this. And I’m not. Fiance lately has become a self rightous asshole.
Self-Righteous-Asshole-Itis : The condition of being a self righteous asshole. Examine possible causes. Understand he could still be greiving the loss of this mother and its manifesting itself in this way. As far as talking to him about your depression, see a therapist first. Talk to your therapist about the best way to talk to him. S/he will have resources, advice, books to help with this or will help you write a letter or have a joint session. Know that depression can be a very difficult subject for one’s partner to understand and the conversation can go wrong very easily. Professional help is best.
I get he wants to be healthier. But he up and threw away my food. My soda. And I felt good about myself, until he put my weight and height into a BMI calculator. And it came up at 30.3. Obese. Now I just want to puke. I hate myself over it. I’m 5’2″ and 158 – 165 pounds give or take.
Talking to your doctor about your weight will help. If you feel good about yourself, then you’re fine as long as your doctor isn’t concerned. Obviously your Fiance is concerned but isn’t handling it well. In one of your other posts you said “He almost cried when he saw it say 200. He’s 6’3″. I think that’s okay. But he was upset.” Being upset about his own weight makes it easy for him to be upset about your weight. He sees what he hates about himself in you, and thats hard for him. He subconsciously wants you to be as upset as he is.
I’m trying to run the 10k on March 31st. I’ve gone to the gym 3 days in a row. And ran 40-45 minutes with the help of an app on my iPhone. I’m very happy with that.
Great! Now invite your Fiance to join you. Try to be happy and enthusiastic about it. Also, find a few healthy recipes and try them out. Try to involve him and let him know you want to support a healthier lifestyle. Use the New Year as an excuses to kickstart it.
Tonight I’m just really really sad. And it’s happened on and off for the last 5 years or so. Really since I started college. I’ve been sad. And even when I was a child. I was sad. I never felt like I had friends. I still don’t. I do, but I don’t ever do anything with them. I feel like I have to buy people stuff to like me. And now I feel like my only help would be to get on medication.
Definitely see a therapist. Its ok to be sad once in a while, but deep persistent sadness needs to be addressed by a professional. I’m sorry you don’t have good friends. I have trouble keeping good friends too. I have casual friends, but not good close friends I feel like I can talk to about anything. I don’t generally feel like thats something I need or miss, until I’m upset about something and don’t have anyone to talk too. 🙁 I’ll be your friend. 🙂
Tonight has just been a really really bad night. This isn’t a post about, i need friends. Or looking for someone to tell me what to do. I just needed someone to talk to.
Hugs! Tried to make this conversational. Hang in there girl.
Some last thoughts: I think you should see a therapist, but also go see your medical doctor about this. S/he will do blood tests to check for all sorts of things that could cause depression- hormones, thyroid problems, etc. Also it could be your birth control method. Talk to professionals.
And me. 😉