posted 3 years ago in Pregnancy
Post # 3
81 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: May 2012

I can’t comment on depression/anxiety while pregnant but I can on feeling it while TTC. I had been on celexa for two years for minor depression/anxiety. I got off the medication in July (weaned off) as DH were going to TTC. I can tell you that it was miserable. I was unhappy, extremely irritable and it definitely affected my relationship. I was lucky to have a husband who tried so hard to support me but nothing he did could help how was feeling. I tried natural supplements, therapy, exercise and acupuncture. I hadn’t wanted to go back on the medication because it still felt “minor” meaning I could still function, go to work, etc. finally I got to a point where I realized my quality of life just wasn’t what I wanted and, to be honest, didn’t want to be pregnant while feeling that way. I finally spoke to a doctor, discussed risks/options and went back on the medication.  I can tell you that it is four weeks later and finally feel like myself again an am looking forward to hopefully being pregnant soon. 

for what it’s worth, my doctor basically told me that, while it is always best to be medication free, it is definitely better for mother to be emotionally healthy as well. For my particular medication, there is not much risk until delivery as baby can go through withdrawl symptoms (although even those are temporary). But they highly recommend weaning off in late third trimester if possible. 


I know that you wanted to hear stories without medication and my opinion might be the minority but just wanted to offer support if you do choose to go on medication. you would not be the only one 🙂

Post # 4
11668 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 1999

@megz06:  Aw, I just read your Xmas post.  I’m so sorry you’re going through all this.  It definitely sounds like you had a panic attack in the car. They’re scary if you’ve never had them before, but harmless for the most part.  Prolonged anxiety though is not good, so I’m glad you’re going to talk with your doctor about it next week. 

You know I’ve got a crazy mother, too so I can relate. Lucky for me, I’ve been dealing with her for so long that I have learned how to not let it get to me as much.  I honestly think you need to severly cut back communication and contact with your in laws right now.  The stress is not worth it.  When my mother tries to start up with me, instead of engaging I tell her I won’t entertain conversation about X subject matter and shut it down.  Hopefully, DH can be that buffer for you.  Like you said in your last post, asking him not to tell you if his mom is bitching.  Let him go do the visiting if he must, but you really should stay away from her right now to keep your stress levels down.  

At the end of the day, you need to take care of you and your babe. Sometimes, that comes at the expense of pissing other people off, but that’s okay.  It can be hard to deal with if you’re a people pleaser like I am but it’s so necessary to just learn to be okay with people being mad at you.  I never have graet advice about how I coped because I feel like I just kind of woke up one day and said Fuck it, I’m done with this bull shit and taking care of me and I don’t care if people don’t like it. 

Would you be open to talking to a therapist? I would highly recommend it, especially if you don’t want to jump right into the medication route.

Hang in there, it’ll get better.

Post # 5
279 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: February 2013

 I tried to link a book I read when I was pregnant but don’t know if it worked. Kind of a pain on the iPad. I was pregnant in 2006 with the twins so there may be more modern books out by now but this one was good.

My short story is I didn’t ask for help until after baby 1 was born (1-1-05) and I had severe depression after. I had depression during but didn’t say anything. The depression after was so bad I had a hard time bonding with her. Years later it finally went away with therapy which I started when she was 8 weeks old. Didn’t help my first DH was an *** and life was just better without him in it. 

I took meds for my next pregnancy (the twins) starting at 11 weeks. No postpardumn depression at al. No issues bonding issues at all. I didn’t breastfeed either. 

All 3 of my children are quite smart. They’re all in the Gifted program so no cognitive side effects either way, meds or no. I think one twin is distractable and easily excitable but it isn’t a problem at school. My first DD (no meds until post pardum) is prone to being moody but it could be her age or just personality. 

This is pregnancy (due 7-5-14) I’m not on meds and doing well this time. 

I hope this helps. Let me know if you have anymore questions. (((Hugs)))


Post # 8
11668 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 1999

@megz06:  Glad to hear you’re seeking out different avenues for help and that DH is supporting you.  The pregnancy hormones are craziness on top of it all that you don’t want to mess with.  I have definitely had some dark moments (that I chalk up to a combo of the hormones with mama drama). The hormones definitely make everything worse at times.  If you ever want to talk, PM me. 🙂

It might not help or even be worth it, but your DH might try talking to his mom about getting some help for herself. It sounds like she has a lot of issues that she could work through.  I’ve suggested therapy for my mom to her though and she doesn’t listen at all, so it might be a lost cause for his mom as well, but you never know if you don’t try I guess.

Take care of you and your little boy – that’s all that matters right now!

Post # 9
2562 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: March 2014

Not preggo, but I’ve noticed that I am SUPER stressed out lately and have started deep breathing.

I am too fidgety to do it lying down or before bed or something, so what I’ve been doing is deep breathing while my car warms up, or while I wash my hands, or in the first few minutes I walk outside for lunch.

It was hard to want to at first but honestly I enjoy it now (and like to just sit there while my car warms up) and it really does relax me.

I have caught myself doing it out of habit a few times when I get very stressed, so it seems to be working.

Post # 10
1059 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: September 2008 - A tiny town just outside of Glacier National Park

I have a history of major depressive disorder and generalized anxiety. With some trepidation, I weaned off Lexapro about 6 months before we started TTC. So far, pregnancy has treated me very well, and I have had no depression and little anxiety. I still worry about PPD a lot.

My two biggest suggestions for you are:

1) Don’t be ashamed if you DO end up having to take medication. It was always the hardest for me to convince myself to start or restart antidepressants, but once I was on them, I was exceedingly grateful for their effects. Most are safe through pregnancy, though some impede breastfeeding– but think of how much better a mom you’ll be able to be otherwise if you feel good, have good energy, and are emotionally available for your little one!

2) The single biggest thing that helped me, even more than medication and talk therapy (both of which I HIGHLY recommend, especially seeing a therapist weekly!), was learning new ways to think and to process emotion. I did this by establishing a daily mindfulness-awareness meditation practice. In essence, this practice teaches you the following things, all of which are useful in combatting depression and anxiety:

– To be very familiar with your current emotional and mental landscape (this part can be a bit difficult if it’s not a happy place)

– To recognize habitual thinking patterns and your emotional response to them

– To begin to recognize that your thought are not rational, are constantly changing, and don’t need to have total power over you

– To start to change your emotional response to habitual thought patterns (i.e. seeing the thought “you’re such a failure, you can never do this,” as it arises, but not creating a story about it, feeling sad, and angry, and following it down the road into a depressive spiral)

– To eventually see that you can choose how to respond to stimuli and whether or not it actually IS a big deal, or just feels like one because of the story you tell yourself. It’s akin to being a mountain where your thoughts and emotions are weather patterns that you learn to let simply cast a small shadow on you.

– (A BIG ONE) To practice kindness, gentleness, and compassion toward yourself. It’s amazing how easily we give credence to self-depricating thoughts and throw away self-loving thoughts as if they are so much garbage. This practice helps you learn to love yourself, warts and all.

– (And eventually) To feel kindness, gentleness, and compassion toward others, who are all experiencing the same crazy neurosis and suffering as a result of their habits and fears as well

To begin a meditation practice, you’ll need a space in your home where you can sit quietly for 10 minutes, or a local mindfulness-awareness group with which to practice. I’d try googling “mindfulness-awareness meditation (your area).” Try books by Pema Chodron or John Kabat-Zinn, or most books on beginning meditation. I love “Turning the Mind into an Ally” by Sakyong Mipham Rinpoche. The practice is based on Buddhist philosophy, but is agnostic and has nothing to do with religion, so anyone of any inclination can do it.

You might also try the book “Mindful Childbirth,” which teaches both the basic practice as well as applications for times of intense pain, stress, and discomfort during the prenatal, labor, and postpartum periods.

PM me if you have any questions. Good luck! I feel for you and you will be in my thoughts as I meditate this morning.

Post # 12
1059 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: September 2008 - A tiny town just outside of Glacier National Park

You’re welcome! A lot of how meditation helps anxiety/depression is training yourself to let go of control and gently accept things as they are — so don’t try to make your emotions and thoughts meet a certain standard by trying to tame them or control them. Be kind to yourself, and let yourself feel the way you do, knowing that it will pass. All things change. As you become more familiar with your thoughts and feelings and the habitual paths they go down, they’ll seem lighter, less serious, and more absurd… much easier to let go, and much quicker to change into a settled, more open state.

As Mark Twain famously said, “I have known a great many troubles in life, most of which never happened.” Our minds love to tell us stories about how bad things are!

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