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Designing a secular ceremony

posted 2 years ago in Ceremony
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    1.
    Bee
    3,185 posts
    Sugar bee
    sloth    May 14, 2011   Philadelphia, PA

    I'm so excited - a friend of ours has agreed to get ordained online and officiate! It's going to be perfect. We're both very close to him (as a matter of fact, the boy and I met through him - the boy was his roommate and I was his co-worker), and he's very charming and charismatic. I think he'll do an awesome job.

    But now we've got to get down to the nitty gritty - designing the ceremony from scratch, with no professional guidance.

    Did any of you do this? Plan your ceremony without the help of someone who has officiated before? How did you do it? Do you have any ideas?

    We are very non-religious but wouldn't mind incorporating some cool cultural factors into our ceremony if they feel right and true to us.

     

     
    2.
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    411 posts
    Helper bee
    mhirni    September 12, 2009   Oakland, CA

    A friend of mine was asked to do the ceremony for a couple of her friends.  She had never done it before, but she asked another friend of ours for advice (he has done a few non-religious weddings) and my dad (who is a minister).  They walked her through the nuts and bolts of what she would need to do for the day, and gave her some ideas on how to structure the ceremony, but the content was all her and the couple.  Do you have any mutual acquaintances who have done this before?  You can also find sample ceremonies online.  Have fun with this!  You have the chance to craft a ceremony that truly reflects you as a couple!

     
    3.
    Member
    2,595 posts
    Sugar bee
    teaadntoast    04/23/2010   New York, NY

    I'd check out Mrs Star's recaps for some ideas.  I believe Mrs. Mouse also wrote her own, and both have graciously shared the text of there ceremonies with the hive.

     
    4.
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    360 posts
    Helper bee
    jessieblum    October 10, 2010   New Jersey

    You might want to check out some of my posts on WeddingbeePRO.. there's some information on how I write and create my ceremonies for couples, and it has some tips for brides looking to write their own ceremonies! http://www.weddingbeepro.com/author/jessieblum/

    I think a book is a great resource for this - I'd check out Judith Johnsons' Wedding Ceremony Planner (it's pink, and reasonably inexpensive.. very much worth it), as well as some of the Bees who have written their own ceremonies (I really love Mrs. Cherry Pie's, and, as someone mentioned, Star just wrote extensively about the ceremony she wrote).

    Writing your own ceremony is a huge undertaking, but it's a worth it in the end, if you are willing to invest the time and energy into it.  Good luck!!

     
    5.
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    1,476 posts
    Bumble bee
    Selene221    October 31, 2012  

    This link has a ton of ideas that may work for you:

    http://kvetch.indiebride.com/index.php?t=thread&frm_id=4&rid=0&S=e92405987cd9483a53b76c546ac8b723

     
    6.
    Member
    2,217 posts
    Buzzing bee
    monitajb    July 17, 2010   Sacramento

    Right now, I really like this ceremony, and will likely use a lot of it:

    http://weddings.about.com/od/yourweddingceremony/a/weddingceremony.htm

     
    7.
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    178 posts
    Blushing bee
    formerlybuttons    June 5, 2010  

    I'm writing/designing a non-religious ceremony for our officiant too!  I did a lot of internet research, borrowed a bit from other friends who wrote their own ceremonies, and Weddingbee (Mrs. Star's posts, in particular), has been really helpful for structure, general ideas, etc.  Good luck!

     
    8.
    2,766 posts
    Sugar bee
    clarebee    August 21, 2010   Vienna, VA (wedding in Greensboro, GA)

    We are writing our own ceremony as well - my dad and his wife still had their documents on planning a ceremony that their officiant gave to them. I have been asked not to share the whole thing, but I would be happy to help share ideas! Also, just google wedding ceremony examples and youll find a lot of stuff!

     
    9.
    Hostess
    10,917 posts
    Sugar
    Beekeeper
    bakerella    September 11, 2010   Toronto, ON

    We're having an officiant who's actually a reverend (but doing a non-religious ceremony for us) and he sent us a lot of samples. We're building and adapting from that. PM me with your email and I can pass it along if you'd like!

     
    10.
    Bee
    2,059 posts
    Buzzing bee
    star    October 11, 2009   New York, NY!

    Glad to have helped so many ladies! I totally second jessieblum's rec for Judith Johnson's book -- it's a great starting out point!

     
    11.
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    1,133 posts
    Bumble bee
    rachelss    August 22, 2010   Fort Collins, CO

    We're having a Jewish wedding but FI is an atheist so we're going with meaningful, non-religious traditions. Take a look at Jewish ceremonies - a lot of the traditions can be made secular - for example, the chuppah as a representation of your future home (our parents are standing by the corners of ours to represent our foundation), circling each other to represent the intertwining of your lives, etc. And actually in Jewish tradition the couple marries each other and the rabbi is really there for the blessings and guidance (I think).

     

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