Post # 1
OK, this is weird. . . I am normally quite logical and aware that I don’t want children for a few years yet. I am in grad school, we are miserably long-distance a lot of the time (I cannot WAIT for Thanksgiving break when I get to go home for 2 weeks) and we won’t be getting married for at least a couple years, unless my estimation of our readiness is way off. . . but I still find that, especially lately, I feel like I want to try to have a baby with him.
Yikes. We aren’t ready and we know it, and I’m not planning on stupidly skipping birth control or doing anything intentional. It’s just a feeling I get sometimes. I find it really strange because I’ve never been sure if I want kids– still am not. But I do definitely occasionally get this longing to get pregnant and have a child with my SO. Maybe it has something to do with missing him. . .
Bleh. Anyone else feel this way while waiting?
Post # 3
Maybe it’s because everyone (it seems) is pregnant these days? Sometimes I feel this way too. I got married in August, but we are definitely not ready for children yet. I think it may just be because of all the babies that around us!
Post # 4
@Creiddylad: I think it’s perfectly normal. In some ways since you’re missing him, in your mind you might see having a child as a sort of surrogate (like you’d have something to love and take care of becuase your bf isn’t there).
In some ways it’s good because it might help you decide if you want kids or not 🙂
Post # 5
@Creiddylad: Getting engaged is a huge commitment and so is having a child with someone. Maybe you’re thinking about wanting a baby so you have something that ties you strongly together. Maybe you’re feeling this way because he has the power when it comes to the proposal, but you have the power to fall pregnant? If you’re not ready for children, it’s best to push these thoughts to the side and just enjoy your time together as a couple. Plenty of time for a family down the track when you are both willing and ready for that next step.
Post # 6
I sometimes feel the same way and I think I’ve figured out why I sometimes want to get pregnant by my SO. I know I want to marry him and spend the rest of my life with him, and having children goes along with that for us. Right now I’m waiting for him to propose, and therefore holding off on wedding planning for the most part. But I’m a planner, and babies are another step we will make in the future. So my head has a tendency to jump for that sometimes since its another thing I can plan that includes being with my SO long term. Hope that makes sense.
Post # 7
I know the feeling. And we have no intention of having kids for another 5 years minimum. I even invested in the copper IUD so I’m set for the next 10 years but sometimes… Having a baby just seems like the thing to do. I want a family with my SO. I want to go to our children’s soccer games (or whatever else they choose) and I want to help with homework. I want to teach our kids how to drive and save from the day they’re born so we can send them off to college debt free. But I’m only 22 and I have things to accomplish beforehand so I know that kids are in reality, a long way off.
Post # 8
I never wanted kids until I met my SO. I am in a similar situation, undecided, but every so often it wanes. My boyfriend one night smiled and out of the blue, hugged me, and whispered in my ear “Your ovulating”. We’re not trying and don’t live together. When I asked how on earth he would know that, he replied because you talk softer, and your more loving and affectionate. Evidently, when you ovulate, you crave babies, (Obviously not all the time, hence your confusion and mine) because it must be that when we met our match, coupled with the pheromones they give out, that it can make you yearn for something you thought only in your wildest dreams. I love that he’s so accepting because he’ll say something like “Its ok sweetie, when the time comes, we’ll have them” even when I protest, or fight the reaction, just to put me at ease in the moment, because he knows my feelings that I could take them or leave them.
I know that’s alot, and it may, or may not apply to your situation, but I wanted to say, omg trust me, I know how you feel. It is a HUGE culture shock when you find that guy that can flip that switch you thought couldn’t or wouldn’t be turned on. The maternal feeling feels weird. My advice to you is just curl up with him, enjoy the heighted love you feel with him at that time, and don’t worry, it will pass.
Post # 9
I know the feeling! I have been having that same baby urge but I know it’ll be at least a few years until I can make one :O)
Post # 10
I hear ya! We plan on waiting at least 2 years after marriage, and I’ve always known I want babies but lately it’s gotten bad! I think for me it’s getting closer to marrying the most amazing man I know. You can’t help but think how wonderful it will be to see him as a Dad, and start a little family together. Before SO I wanted 2, maybe 3 tops. But now we talk about 4-5… umm that’s a lot of kids! Also, my parents are not pressuring me in the least, and none of my friends have babies yet… and I’m 25 so the clock isn’t ticking that loud yet!