Weddingbee Boards
hive,
i am just crushed! 
i just found out this morning from my FH that the money we thought we were getting from his credit union, at an incredibly low rate, is a no go!
i planned to write checks tomorrow! i was in the middle of going over contractual terms with our banquet hall when hit with the news!
he wont be able to get that money until he pays off a personal loan with them....quick calculations say the soonest this could be is July.
....
there is no available help from parents. my grandmother is contributing $1000 and buying my dress.
we dont have stellar credit. we have no savings to speak of. i know the sage advice that any rational soul would give would be to table the wedding until we are financially fit to pull one off.
i have grown sooo attached to our November 1st wedding date. its breaking my heart to think that it will be even longer before i can be with my FH. we've been long distance now for 6 months. living together before marriage is not an option. and I am currently living at home with my parents and 3 siblings and that is slowly driving me bat sh!t....
i am just sooo hurt. and upset. and anxious. and scared. and every negative emotion that one can think of.
so my first question is: what do you think we should do?
the 2nd question is: how are you paying for your wedding (savings, loans, credit card, mom and dad, ect)
additional info: i moved back in with family about 3-4 months ago so that i could focus on paying some credit card debt.
I commute an hour and a half each way to my job that i left in the city i used to live in.
i'm 26. working at a job i dont like and does not compensate me adequately for the work I do. have been looking for something else but job market is less than stellar in my area.
i can't pick up a second job until i eliminate the commuting from my first.
Can you contact your potential vendors and sign contracts with no down payment, but the obligation to pay in full? Some vendors might be willing to work with you. Another option is to just wait to pay for things until July, but that all depends on how popular your vendors are.
Another option is Zopa. They're only affiliated with certain Credit Unions, but it is a new (and AWESOME) way to get money/invest money when you want.
We are paying for our wedding by ourselves. No help from parents or relatives... just us. My tax refund alone is $6500, so that's a big help. Some things we're putting on credit (like decorations and our silk flowers), but most of the remaining amount is coming from savings. We've been saving every single dime lately, so it's been helping a lot.
I can only imagine how you are feeling. I know you are attached to your November 1st date, but could you possibly move it to October 31st or November 7th (a Friday night)? Prices are much cheaper and wedding usually don't begin until 5pm-ish anyway.
Oh my hunny I am so sorry! (Hugs!)
Lets first just not make a rash decision. - I know it's not the greatest of ideas but you could bring things down and make the wedding more intimate, then have a HUGE reception when you're more finacially able.
Don't wait to marry your true love just because the money isn't there right now for a big party. What matters is your union and though getting used to the idea of not having the regular traditional set up might be hard, I think it could be worth it.
To answer your other question, we have the money for the wedding because of an unfortuante car accident that almost took FH's life back in 2004. I'd gladly give it up to have kept him from being hit head on at 60mph - so I'm not of much help in the "where to get the money" thing. I do not suggest where ours came from!
Hang in there, and if you need anything let me know!!!
(((HUGS)))
With regard to your first question, I don't think anyone on this board will tell you that it is a good idea to be taking out a loan to finance a wedding, so the fact that you weren't approved by the credit union is probably a blessing in disguise.
You can get married at City Hall by a Justice of the Peace. That way you are married, haven't spent a lot of money, and can move out of your parents' house and in with your new husband. If you want, you can always save money and have a reception or a vow renewal down the road when you have more money.
With regard to your second question, I'm paying for my wedding mainly by myself with savings. My parents have also graciously offered to contribute a sizable amount. But I don't see how the answers to your second question will really help you. If you don't have much money now, then you either need to scale back your wedding plans, or postpone. But you will be much happier in the long run if you haven't started out your married life with additional debt from a wedding.
Good luck!
I'm so sorry! This is a tough situation, but from my perspective, I would say to have a small wedding or elope and just be happy! You can always have a reception later if you heart is set on it, but it seems that what is most important to you is to be married and living your life with your husband. A wedding doesn't have to be candy buffets and photobooths and $4K photographers. It has to be you + your man + a lot of love. That's all.
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sigh.....i went around and around this mulberry bush right after the proposal.......getting married at JoP just wouldnt make me happy. i would always regret not having a traditional wedding.
i am not opposed to an intimate event, however, i have been fighting with my mom over the guest list. despite the fact that she is not contributing, she is determined to send an open invite to the church as well as invite all of her aunts and their children. that number is staggering and a whole nother issue that i wont get into here.
I must respectfully disagree with Dani's comment that you take out a loan through zopa. You clearly have a significant amount of debt already. You mentioned that you have consumer credit card debt, and your fiance also has an unpaid loan, which is also debt. Moreover, you both have bad credit. Do not dig yourself deeper into debt! If you take out a loan, it will be subject to repayment with extremely high interest rates. According to the zopa.com website, your interest rate will be somewhere between a whopping 8.75% to an even more whopping 16.99%! You don't want to be in this much debt!! (Not to mention, you might not even qualify for a zopa loan given that you said you had bad credit and zopa requires a minimum credit score of 640.)
I know it's not how you envisioned getting married, but please consider going to City Hall, or, like Sweeney2Be said, just scale back your plans. You will be so glad not to be in even more debt.
Oh dear, I am so sorry to hear about it. I do agree with Little Monster and Sweeney - if you really want to be married, it isn't about anything but you and your FI joining in marriage, which can easily be done without the hoopla - a simple ceremony with immediate family and closest closest friends present, and even a simple but fun dinner after (think bbq). Your wedding day is only a couple of hours of your life, but your financial situation and loans don't go away that quickly. Mr. T and I are paying for our shindig ourselves, but are having a small wedding that we can afford, and if we couldn't afford what we were doing, we would probably do what i suggested. Good luck with everything and let us know what you decide!
My parents are very kindly paying for most of the wedding. The remainder we are financing ourselves. We have to fix up his house ($$) and sell it, move into mine ($) and his son is going off to college the month after the wedding ($$$). So we couldn't afford much on our own. Our original plan was a very small service and nice dinner out afterwards, immediate family and closest friends only, me in a nice dress and him in a sportscoat and tie. The biggest single thing we are financing, the RD, actually looks just like our original wedding plan but without the ceremony.
If somehow the money from my parents disappeared tomorrow, we would just go back to that original plan. It would certainly be enough. The important thing is the commitment to each other, and if you pare down your guest list to only the most important people in your lives I'll bet you come up with two dozen, maximum. And every one of those people would be happy to throw a potluck to celebrate - and I would bet that somebody would love to host it in their home.
Go ahead and get married. All the stuff you see on this site - the fancy invitations, the crafty favors, the fabulous dresses, the color-matched attendants, cute flower girls - it is not the important part. And if you really miss having had it, go ahead and renew your vows a few anniversaries down the road with all the associated festivities. You'll enjoy it more when you're not worrying about every penny that goes into it.
LittleMonster, you make an excellent point. I was opposed to financing our wedding until i found out the interest rate being offered by FH credit union. its barely 1%. now, i guess that doesn't matter....until July, that is.
I do not want to shoulder ourselves with anymore debt than we have. I just dont know what to do......
Unfortunately our desires to "just be happy" often are what lead us into debt to begin with. Buying things that make us happy vs. buying what we can afford is dangerous. You may not be happy with anything other then a traditional wedding but the the best gift you can give to yourself and your marriage is to be debt free. The amount of stress caused by being in debt can suffocate any marriage. Being debt free will eventually be something that makes you happy.
It's fine if you want the traditional wedding but just adjust it to your budget. You are an adult and need to put your foot down with your mom. I promise she won't quit loving you. There may be fights and tears and pissy attitudes but be firm. Tell her she can invite anyone she is willing to pay for. Period. Have your wedding on the date you want, have the traditional church wedding with the people you want there and then have a nice dessert reception or something equally as low key.
Do NOT take a loan or go into even more debt for something that is just a day. Ultimately this will do more harm to you and your marriage.
My only advice is to remember that the marriage is more important the the frills of a wedding. I know that's probably against the grain here in the hive, but I've enjoyed planning a wedding within my means and yet, still realize that the marriage and being with my FH is the most important part of it.
Do something small, until you can save for the day that you want!
You're getting good advice here - its just not what you want to hear. My only other recommendation is to completely bare bones it - have the wedding at a church - rent the attached hall (which usually won't allow alcohol a blessing in disguise) and pot luck it. You get to wear your dress, have friends and family there and get married. But you need to remember to just say no! Just say no to all the little things that make it so expensive, favors, invitations, flowers, bridal parties, photographers, etc. You scrape up the money for the hall (which should be cheaper than other sites) and you already have a dress. I think the pot luck bit will come off better at a church hall wedding than anything else.
You'll have a wedding and the memories and that's all that matters.
That being said my mom gave us half and we've saved half during the year, but we don't have credit card issues either so it helps with saving. I've had credit card debt, believe me that not adding to it with a wedding is something you will thank yourself for years about.
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One of my close friends found himself in the same perdicament. What he did was just get married with all the parents and the siblings together and go out to a nice dinner after. Exactly one year later they threw a big party for all the extended family and friends! (as for picking the date, they got married on a Friday so the year anniversay landed on a Saturday).
Like Suzanno said, none of the lace and fancy paper matters, all that matters is the love you two have! It all works out somehow, just take a moment to breathe!
I'm sorry to hear about your situation! It's almost ridiculous how much weddings cost nowadays. I just have a couple of suggestions for you, but they or may not fit your vision of the big day!
I was once invited to a wedding, but was NOT invited to the reception. If your mom insists on inviting everybody at church, then invite them all to the ceremony! Having tons of people at a church ceremony won't cost you any extra money (just don't give out programs). Another thing that my parents did when they got married (over 25 years ago), was have a church reception, potluck style! So right after the ceremony, everybody went to the hall and had finger foods and the wedding cake! Or if you don't want to do potluck, then do a more simple snack/tea time with bulk foods (cookies from Costco, lemonade, etc.). That way, you can mingle with everybody and keep costs down. The reception can be for your closest family and friends. That way, you'll have a "reception" but also have the intimate, more formal reception at a later time.
Figure out what you absolutely want and put your foot down on the other stuff! Like everybody else said, the important thing is that YOU are getting married and this should be a happy time for you! =) Best of luck . . .
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I too must also strongly suggest NOT taking a loan out for a wedding. In the long run, whether it have been in your dreams to have an elaborate wedding or not, the truth of the matter is everyone needs to be realistic about what is affordable. I would LOVE to own the BMW 725xi, but I can't afford it and again it's just an accessory, just like a wedding. The big hooplah that comes with a wedding is just an accessory, what truly matters is your love for each other that can't be bought with money. If having an elaborate wedding to celebrate the love that the two of you share is the only thing that would signify how deep in love you both are, I think there may be bigger issues at hand.
But these are just my thoughts, but sometimes it's hard to think objectively if you are the party directly involved and it's easy to get wrapped up in all the excitement to be able to see what is truly important further down the road.
our chapel is stand alone on the campus of our alma mater. you're right. it doesnt cost much. $300.
we'll talk about all these options tonite when we have our phone date. we will have to make a choice and sooner than later. no option gives me all i want at this point.......sigh. but with a budget as small as mine, i can't have it all. guess i got to grieve that.
I disagree that the "sage" advice is to postpone the wedding. How extravagant the wedding is does not change the fact that you are married. The "sage" advice is to scale down the wedding to what you can afford.
It is a blessing that you cannot get a loan for the wedding. Starting off a marriage on debt isn't exactly desirous.
Take stock of what you CAN afford - you have $1000 from your grandmonther. How much can you save per month? You can have a wedding, and it doesn't have to be a city hall/no celebration - and it will be fabulous, because you will be married. No matter if your budget is $1000 and you take 20 friends/family out to dinner in a private room at a restaurant or if you scale it up, but to less than your initial plans.
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seriously.. ELOPE. you don't want to be in even more debt by financing your wedding. if i was in your situation, i'd do it in a heartbeat because eloping will solve lots of your problems. that doesn't mean you still can't have that traditional wedding, just hold it off for another year. no big deal. we are paying for our own wedding with no help from either parents, because one we are grown up enough to do it and second FI's parents are close to retirement. even if they weren't, we'd still pay for our own wedding.
we charge one CC for only wedding stuff to budget but pay it off each month so we aren't accumulating debt. there's always a solution to everything. it's whether which ones are right for you. sometimes you may not like how situations are dealt, but take it with a grain of salt and keep going. good luck!!
i agree with maple. you've already got 1000 and a dress. if you save $100/month from now until then, that's another 900. i think your mom will completely understand if you need to cut the guest list for this reason.
pleeeeeeeeeeease don't take out more debt. you will definitely regret it in the long run!!!
to put things in perspective, my parents got married in my grandparents' living room with about 40 guests. they had a catered buffet and pictures that we still laugh about. and 30 years later, they're still happily married and wouldn't have had it any other way -- they just wanted to be married! granted, my mom is living out her dream wedding now vicariously through me... =)
I am sure you must be heartbroken! It sounds like you have put a lot of time and effort into planning your wedding.
Though my parents are contributing a generous sum, there were a few things that I wanted that I would not be able to afford without going into debt. One of them is my dress, which I fell in love with without checking the price first. My fiance and I decided to postpone our wedding (summer '09 instead of summer '08) and it couldn't have worked out better! We started booking vendors early and ended up getting everyone we wanted (They all had our date open) for the 2007 prices. Having that extra year also helped us save some $$. Maybe moving it one year later might work? You could also try avoiding the high season (May-October) and save some $ there. If you are attached to your date, maybe you could downsize?
I just posted an entry about saving $ on my blog. Maybe there are some tips that might help you?
http://www.mint2betogether.blogspot.com/
Good luck! I am pulling for you! 
Hi there -- I'm so sorry you got this shock... But I agree with the people who say it was a blessing in disguise.
You can still get married November 1. You can still have a more than a JOP wedding. You just have to scale back. Maybe way back. But starting out your marriage with a new, totally avoidable cloud like a wedding loan over your head is a bad idea, especially since you already have the other debts you mentioned. Money can really futz with your marriage, and a wedding is not worth it if it adds stress like that.
Please just give yourself time to get used to the idea.
And then check out "Smart Couples Finish Rich" from the library -- it's really helped me and my husband get off on the right foot :)
Good luck!
This board it great - You are getting great advice!
I second louvigilante - pick a date in 2009 for your big party/wedding - then back it up to this year and plan an intimate wedding with your immidiate family. Doesn't have to be at the JoP. It could be on a piece of public land with a friend who's gotten ordained online for free! Seriously you could have a wonderfully romantic wedding for next to nothing. Then focus on paying off debt and saving up money for your big event next year on your 1 year anniversary! It doesn't have to be just a party - you can reinact the wedding and do the whole nine yards if you'd like. Although - in your situation I'm guessing it'll still need to be a thrifty affair - you'll just be able to include everyone who loves you guys!!
You do not want to start your life together by going into even more debt for a wedding. You already trying to get out of debt and know how stressful and difficult that is!! Imagine how many years you'd be adding to your debt pay-off plan if you financed the wedding! If you ran those numbers it'd probably shock you!!!
This is just a random suggestion, take it or leave it. My husband and I took Dave Ramsey's Financial Peace University class right after we were married and it was a wonderful blessing for us! It helped us really focus and be disciplined with our financial goals. Plus it covers the whole realm of finances - not just credit cards. Anyways - sounds like you guys could benefit - just google Dave Ramsey and you'll be able to find a class offered in your area.
Best of luck to you guys! I know your wedding will be a very very special day!!
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I second Dave Ramsey! Its great. Have a huge 1 year anniversary party. It will could be a "We beat the Odds" party. We are thinking of moving our honeymoon to our first anniversary. You could also register for a honeymoon, which is a polite way of asking for money without asking for it.
We're paying for it 100%. We both make very comfortable salaries and we are *still* having a post-elopement wedding party that's inexpensive (compared to a typical wedding). We're spending money on stuff that matters (food, atmosphere, our elopement trip) and ditching everything else (flowers, favors, engraved invites, wedding gown, DJ, cake, limo, sit down dinner, rehearsal dinner, extensive photography). We can afford it, but we'd rather buy a car or like 5 huge vacations.
You'll still be just as married if you don't spend $3000 on tulle and $2000 on personalized napkins. People want to see you happy, have a good time celebrating with you, and if they are upset because you fed them BBQ instead of lobster, their opinion isn't worth worrying about.
I second, third or whatever the count is now for NOT getting a loan for the wedding! For me, a small wedding was not an option (first to get married...asian girl...it has to be bigger than big) so I KNOW what you're going through!
What we did was that we waited. Fiance had a lot of bills, and I wanted him to have them paid off (interest rates are too high on credit/personal loans, so we wanted to get them paid off earlier the better). It was a hard and frustrating period (took a year!) I don't advised anyone to ever get into that situation! I was pretty ticked off at fiance for having incurred so much debt (was out of his control though, but still...irked beyond belief). Don't do it, it is not worth the frustration of having to send all your future hard earned money to credit card companies (especially when the house market is more affortable)!
What we ended up doing was that after paying off all credit card bills, we would save 1/3 of our income by having it automatically deducted from our accounts everytime we get paid! That's over 1K every two weeks, more if we could afford to do so. It takes a LOT of discipine, but we are paying for everything ourselves, and it has to be done. To supplement that, I'm going the DIY route and doing everything that I could do (i'm still in the process of trying to see what more I can do). If I have the time and creativity for the tasks, i'm doing them. If my friends and family members have a creative gift that I can exploit for the wedding..they're doing it (i find that people would love to be involved where they can). Though we're not getting any monetary contributation from anyone, we've got plenty of physical labor and that's just as good.
I suggest sitting down and think hard as to what is most important to you; wait a few months for when you have more money, scale down the wedding, going the DIY route or whatever the case may be...it is ultimately up to YOU AND YOUR FIANCE. For us, a piece of paper that said we're married doesn't necessary say he loves me more or that I love him more. We just wanted to celebrate our union properly, at the right time where we can both afford to do so. We simply didn't want to go into the marriage in debt.
I agree with everyone - do NOT go into more debt. But, I think you have learned that lesson already.
Since you still want a celebration, get married in a church, and then instead of renting out a hall, why not have a cake and punch reception at a public park or other public facility (rec center, etc)? One of the best weddings I've ever attended was thrown by a couple who had no money; they brought in a boom box and strung up paper lanterns. They looked so happy and nobody cared that the food wasn't spectacular or that there weren't fancy decorations.
In a year or so, once you get on your feet again, throw a huge fancy party of your dreams. Like everyone else has said, the important thing here is your union with your fiance. Parties come and go, but your love and support of one another is what counts!
Sorry to hear about your situation. Like others have said you can scale back, do a lot of DIY and see if you can use Craigslist for everything from decor to finding an up and coming photographer who is trying to build up their profolio. Another thing to consider is sponsorship. I just saw an ad for it the other day. It is not for everyone and they only offer it at certain locations. Here is a link to learn more http://www.sponsoryourwedding.com/
Good luck, hope everything works out for you and FI.
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Thank you everyone for sooo much hardcore advice. i must admit, i am a dry husk from crying sooo many tears. but i considered earlier, before reading it here, that this could be a blessing in disguise.
i have to let go of the myth that society has taught me about my wedding day.
i must admit, it will be hard letting go, but if i scout around, some affordable options can come available.
the most important thing is our union. i will be no more married at a $100,000 wedding than a $1000.
Thank you all sooo much, again.
ITA with maple. You can still celebrate!
Please, PLEASE try not to go into debt for your wedding. It really isn't worth it and you don't want to have to worry about paying off a wedding and worrying about paying your bills and your basic necessities.
Our wedding is being paid fully by savings.
Many vendors will accept a smaller deposit if you explain that you can't afford the full deposit amount right away. If there is one vendor you really want, try asking for a smaller deposit so you can lock in your date. For the other vendors, maybe try asking friends to perform those services for free. Can a cousin do your hair and makeup? Can your uncle photograph the wedding? Also ask vendors what are the minimum services you can book now. For example, we booked our photographer for taking pictures only. We will go back to get prints/albums a year after the wedding when we can afford them.
I don't think I explained what I meant with the Zopa thing. I do NOT think that you should be taking out additional debt to pay for your wedding. I do, however, think that you are in a great situation to get your debt consolidated. By doing that, you will be freeing up other money (because your monthly payment obligations are less) which you will then be able to save.
I consolidated my credit cards onto a 3.9% fixed APR American Express and I have been debt-free for a long time now. It reduced my montly obligation by $100, and when I continued to pay the same amount, I had my debt paid off in 2 years (instead of 4).
There are companies out there that can help you pay off your debt, even with a low credit score. Sure, your interest rate may be higher, but sometimes that's the price you pay to be debt free.
I just wanted to clarify what I meant. Best of luck to you!
You really should elope. Go to an Island for 3 or 4 days. You can get some good deals and if you can use the $1k I think grandmom is giving you that can help pay for your trip.
I got married(my first marriage) at Breezes in the Bahamas and the wedding was free. All we paid for was our room and airfare and it was all inclusive. Trust me I was ver poor at the time 24 and making $8/hr and I was the head bread winner my husband at the time was finishing up his degree.
It's not good to start your married life out in debt. That can only cause problems. I would work on eliminating my debt (not creating more).
I have to agree with others that this may be a blessing in disguise and also that it would be wise (and an idea you can really get used to) to save some money by scaling back.
To add to all that, I would say postponing the wedding date is also not the end of the world. Due to various circumstances, my FH and I also had to postpone our date and at first I was in horror, but now I feel so much better about the whole thing. It sounds like financing a wedding is not going to be your only issue concerning funds. Since you live at home with the parents right now, will you both be looking for a new place? Or moving into his? In any case, with marriage comes a lot of other expenses - so I find that I feel a lot more comfortable now knowing that we have those few extra months to work and save up more money - not necessarily for the wedding (because we are continuing with the idea of scaling back) but for our life together, which is so much more important :)
Good luck! you are not alone ;) xo
I come from a big farming family, and have been to soooo many receptions held in grange halls or church basements or backyards, with a lovely cake and a potluck. I have also been to lots of "open house" receptions that are appetizers or desserts only. Trust me, the people who love you will have a great time either way, because they are happy for you and happy to be with you. And its all the smiling faces and good wishes that you will remember most fondly.
Yeah, we had a reality check when it came to the food, so we had a local BBQ joint supply their best BBQ meats and then we asked that everyone bring a side dish. It was awesome and cost much less than full catering.
thanks again!
i will be moving into his apartment in Pittsburgh. we sought it out with the thought that I would eventually move in, so i really like the place (and he can afford it on his own. BONUS)...I am definitely thinking of all the expenses of me moving up there and us getting settled. That is one of my top concerns even when we thought we had money.
I am looking into a credt agency (excellent Better Business Bureau report) to pull everything into one lump payment. The whole point of moving home was to get myself into a better financial position. i hope to get the ball rolling on that this upcoming Monday since I'm off for the holiday. I thought I could do it without one of those services, but this way is more efficient and simple in the end.
Getting more debt would clearly not help the situation....I am trying to convince my FI of this, who feels like he's failed me, but I am trying to show him the silver lining here.
I still cry from time to time but i am relying on my faith. I feel that God will show us a way. that we need to just "be still" for a moment and see what it is He wants us to do.
i was just admiring the last Real Wedding: http://www.weddingbee.com/2008/02/08/real-wedding-aleksandra-nathan/
and am hopeful.......
Where there's a WILL there's always a way!!! Don't give up hope yet.
I suggest some "creative budgeting." I live in the DC area and was able to do a wedding for under 10K. This is a significant amount of savings considering most weddings go for AT LEAST 20-30K. How did I do it? Here's how:
These are just the major things that I saved on but everything else was saved by shopping around, DIY projects, and shopping for things as I went along instead of all at once! It also helped to use giftcards that we got for holidays to buy things for the wedding in addition to tapping into my network of friends and family to find people that were willing to help out.
Don't cancel - forge on!!! It makes it all the more worth it in the end!!! We pulled off such an amazing event that our wedding was actually selected to be on "Whose wedding is it anyway." The impossible IS possible. 
Contact me via my blog if you have any other questions of how I accomplished my seemingly impossible wedding!!!
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Not to be harsh, but you should never enter into a marriage with debt from your wedding if you can help it. Debt and finances are the number one cause of divorce - why saddle yourself with an uphill battle when you don't have to? Debt of any kind, should be your very very last option.
From reading your post, it is clear what is important to you is being married -not the wedding, and you can do that without a big expense. Scale back, have a intimate ceremony with a smaller guest list and accept that you will have the best wedding you can afford.
And you could get a second job, just get it where you commute to - so that you are just commuting home later in the day. If you worked a second job for 15 hours a week at even just $7 an hour and started at the beginning of March, you could earn about 3k. If he did the same, that would give you a budget of 6k - you can throw a great intimate wedding for that. It will be tough, but getting out of debt will pave a road to a much happier marriage than a big wedding will.
And get creative! Take a second job somewhere that would benefit your wedding needs (a restuarant to have your reception at, a dress shop, etc). If you have trade-able skills, try to negotiote with those as well. Look to your close family and friends - are their skills, locations, affiliations and people in their networks that you could tap into for your needs for the day? Find ways to personalize and make your day unique without busting the wallet out. If you truly re-commit to a different vision, I think you will find you can plan a fabulous wedding with no regrets. It is just about choosing to reframe your priorities, not trying to pull off your previous plans at a cheaper level. Happiness is being satisified with what you have, not wanting what you don't.
Good Luck!
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