i agree with maple. you've already got 1000 and a dress. if you save $100/month from now until then, that's another 900. i think your mom will completely understand if you need to cut the guest list for this reason.
pleeeeeeeeeeease don't take out more debt. you will definitely regret it in the long run!!!
to put things in perspective, my parents got married in my grandparents' living room with about 40 guests. they had a catered buffet and pictures that we still laugh about. and 30 years later, they're still happily married and wouldn't have had it any other way -- they just wanted to be married! granted, my mom is living out her dream wedding now vicariously through me... =)
I am sure you must be heartbroken! It sounds like you have put a lot of time and effort into planning your wedding.
Though my parents are contributing a generous sum, there were a few things that I wanted that I would not be able to afford without going into debt. One of them is my dress, which I fell in love with without checking the price first. My fiance and I decided to postpone our wedding (summer '09 instead of summer '08) and it couldn't have worked out better! We started booking vendors early and ended up getting everyone we wanted (They all had our date open) for the 2007 prices. Having that extra year also helped us save some $$. Maybe moving it one year later might work? You could also try avoiding the high season (May-October) and save some $ there. If you are attached to your date, maybe you could downsize?
I just posted an entry about saving $ on my blog. Maybe there are some tips that might help you?
Hi there -- I'm so sorry you got this shock... But I agree with the people who say it was a blessing in disguise.
You can still get married November 1. You can still have a more than a JOP wedding. You just have to scale back. Maybe way back. But starting out your marriage with a new, totally avoidable cloud like a wedding loan over your head is a bad idea, especially since you already have the other debts you mentioned. Money can really futz with your marriage, and a wedding is not worth it if it adds stress like that.
Please just give yourself time to get used to the idea.
And then check out "Smart Couples Finish Rich" from the library -- it's really helped me and my husband get off on the right foot :)
This board it great - You are getting great advice!
I second louvigilante - pick a date in 2009 for your big party/wedding - then back it up to this year and plan an intimate wedding with your immidiate family. Doesn't have to be at the JoP. It could be on a piece of public land with a friend who's gotten ordained online for free! Seriously you could have a wonderfully romantic wedding for next to nothing. Then focus on paying off debt and saving up money for your big event next year on your 1 year anniversary! It doesn't have to be just a party - you can reinact the wedding and do the whole nine yards if you'd like. Although - in your situation I'm guessing it'll still need to be a thrifty affair - you'll just be able to include everyone who loves you guys!!
You do not want to start your life together by going into even more debt for a wedding. You already trying to get out of debt and know how stressful and difficult that is!! Imagine how many years you'd be adding to your debt pay-off plan if you financed the wedding! If you ran those numbers it'd probably shock you!!!
This is just a random suggestion, take it or leave it. My husband and I took Dave Ramsey's Financial Peace University class right after we were married and it was a wonderful blessing for us! It helped us really focus and be disciplined with our financial goals. Plus it covers the whole realm of finances - not just credit cards. Anyways - sounds like you guys could benefit - just google Dave Ramsey and you'll be able to find a class offered in your area.
Best of luck to you guys! I know your wedding will be a very very special day!!
I second Dave Ramsey! Its great. Have a huge 1 year anniversary party. It will could be a "We beat the Odds" party. We are thinking of moving our honeymoon to our first anniversary. You could also register for a honeymoon, which is a polite way of asking for money without asking for it.
We're paying for it 100%. We both make very comfortable salaries and we are *still* having a post-elopement wedding party that's inexpensive (compared to a typical wedding). We're spending money on stuff that matters (food, atmosphere, our elopement trip) and ditching everything else (flowers, favors, engraved invites, wedding gown, DJ, cake, limo, sit down dinner, rehearsal dinner, extensive photography). We can afford it, but we'd rather buy a car or like 5 huge vacations.
You'll still be just as married if you don't spend $3000 on tulle and $2000 on personalized napkins. People want to see you happy, have a good time celebrating with you, and if they are upset because you fed them BBQ instead of lobster, their opinion isn't worth worrying about.
I second, third or whatever the count is now for NOT getting a loan for the wedding! For me, a small wedding was not an option (first to get married...asian girl...it has to be bigger than big) so I KNOW what you're going through!
What we did was that we waited. Fiance had a lot of bills, and I wanted him to have them paid off (interest rates are too high on credit/personal loans, so we wanted to get them paid off earlier the better). It was a hard and frustrating period (took a year!) I don't advised anyone to ever get into that situation! I was pretty ticked off at fiance for having incurred so much debt (was out of his control though, but still...irked beyond belief). Don't do it, it is not worth the frustration of having to send all your future hard earned money to credit card companies (especially when the house market is more affortable)!
What we ended up doing was that after paying off all credit card bills, we would save 1/3 of our income by having it automatically deducted from our accounts everytime we get paid! That's over 1K every two weeks, more if we could afford to do so. It takes a LOT of discipine, but we are paying for everything ourselves, and it has to be done. To supplement that, I'm going the DIY route and doing everything that I could do (i'm still in the process of trying to see what more I can do). If I have the time and creativity for the tasks, i'm doing them. If my friends and family members have a creative gift that I can exploit for the wedding..they're doing it (i find that people would love to be involved where they can). Though we're not getting any monetary contributation from anyone, we've got plenty of physical labor and that's just as good.
I suggest sitting down and think hard as to what is most important to you; wait a few months for when you have more money, scale down the wedding, going the DIY route or whatever the case may be...it is ultimately up to YOU AND YOUR FIANCE. For us, a piece of paper that said we're married doesn't necessary say he loves me more or that I love him more. We just wanted to celebrate our union properly, at the right time where we can both afford to do so. We simply didn't want to go into the marriage in debt.
I agree with everyone - do NOT go into more debt. But, I think you have learned that lesson already.
Since you still want a celebration, get married in a church, and then instead of renting out a hall, why not have a cake and punch reception at a public park or other public facility (rec center, etc)? One of the best weddings I've ever attended was thrown by a couple who had no money; they brought in a boom box and strung up paper lanterns. They looked so happy and nobody cared that the food wasn't spectacular or that there weren't fancy decorations.
In a year or so, once you get on your feet again, throw a huge fancy party of your dreams. Like everyone else has said, the important thing here is your union with your fiance. Parties come and go, but your love and support of one another is what counts!
Sorry to hear about your situation. Like others have said you can scale back, do a lot of DIY and see if you can use Craigslist for everything from decor to finding an up and coming photographer who is trying to build up their profolio. Another thing to consider is sponsorship. I just saw an ad for it the other day. It is not for everyone and they only offer it at certain locations. Here is a link to learn more http://www.sponsoryourwedding.com/
Good luck, hope everything works out for you and FI.
Thank you everyone for sooo much hardcore advice. i must admit, i am a dry husk from crying sooo many tears. but i considered earlier, before reading it here, that this could be a blessing in disguise.
i have to let go of the myth that society has taught me about my wedding day.
i must admit, it will be hard letting go, but if i scout around, some affordable options can come available.
the most important thing is our union. i will be no more married at a $100,000 wedding than a $1000.
Please, PLEASE try not to go into debt for your wedding. It really isn't worth it and you don't want to have to worry about paying off a wedding and worrying about paying your bills and your basic necessities.
Many vendors will accept a smaller deposit if you explain that you can't afford the full deposit amount right away. If there is one vendor you really want, try asking for a smaller deposit so you can lock in your date. For the other vendors, maybe try asking friends to perform those services for free. Can a cousin do your hair and makeup? Can your uncle photograph the wedding? Also ask vendors what are the minimum services you can book now. For example, we booked our photographer for taking pictures only. We will go back to get prints/albums a year after the wedding when we can afford them.
I don't think I explained what I meant with the Zopa thing. I do NOT think that you should be taking out additional debt to pay for your wedding. I do, however, think that you are in a great situation to get your debt consolidated. By doing that, you will be freeing up other money (because your monthly payment obligations are less) which you will then be able to save.
I consolidated my credit cards onto a 3.9% fixed APR American Express and I have been debt-free for a long time now. It reduced my montly obligation by $100, and when I continued to pay the same amount, I had my debt paid off in 2 years (instead of 4).
There are companies out there that can help you pay off your debt, even with a low credit score. Sure, your interest rate may be higher, but sometimes that's the price you pay to be debt free.
I just wanted to clarify what I meant. Best of luck to you!
You really should elope. Go to an Island for 3 or 4 days. You can get some good deals and if you can use the $1k I think grandmom is giving you that can help pay for your trip.
I got married(my first marriage) at Breezes in the Bahamas and the wedding was free. All we paid for was our room and airfare and it was all inclusive. Trust me I was ver poor at the time 24 and making $8/hr and I was the head bread winner my husband at the time was finishing up his degree.
It's not good to start your married life out in debt. That can only cause problems. I would work on eliminating my debt (not creating more).
I have to agree with others that this may be a blessing in disguise and also that it would be wise (and an idea you can really get used to) to save some money by scaling back.
To add to all that, I would say postponing the wedding date is also not the end of the world. Due to various circumstances, my FH and I also had to postpone our date and at first I was in horror, but now I feel so much better about the whole thing. It sounds like financing a wedding is not going to be your only issue concerning funds. Since you live at home with the parents right now, will you both be looking for a new place? Or moving into his? In any case, with marriage comes a lot of other expenses - so I find that I feel a lot more comfortable now knowing that we have those few extra months to work and save up more money - not necessarily for the wedding (because we are continuing with the idea of scaling back) but for our life together, which is so much more important :)
I come from a big farming family, and have been to soooo many receptions held in grange halls or church basements or backyards, with a lovely cake and a potluck. I have also been to lots of "open house" receptions that are appetizers or desserts only. Trust me, the people who love you will have a great time either way, because they are happy for you and happy to be with you. And its all the smiling faces and good wishes that you will remember most fondly.
Yeah, we had a reality check when it came to the food, so we had a local BBQ joint supply their best BBQ meats and then we asked that everyone bring a side dish. It was awesome and cost much less than full catering.
i will be moving into his apartment in Pittsburgh. we sought it out with the thought that I would eventually move in, so i really like the place (and he can afford it on his own. BONUS)...I am definitely thinking of all the expenses of me moving up there and us getting settled. That is one of my top concerns even when we thought we had money.
I am looking into a credt agency (excellent Better Business Bureau report) to pull everything into one lump payment. The whole point of moving home was to get myself into a better financial position. i hope to get the ball rolling on that this upcoming Monday since I'm off for the holiday. I thought I could do it without one of those services, but this way is more efficient and simple in the end.
Getting more debt would clearly not help the situation....I am trying to convince my FI of this, who feels like he's failed me, but I am trying to show him the silver lining here.
I still cry from time to time but i am relying on my faith. I feel that God will show us a way. that we need to just "be still" for a moment and see what it is He wants us to do.
Where there's a WILL there's always a way!!! Don't give up hope yet.
I suggest some "creative budgeting." I live in the DC area and was able to do a wedding for under 10K. This is a significant amount of savings considering most weddings go for AT LEAST 20-30K. How did I do it? Here's how:
Flowers - ProFlowersWeddings.com - only $550!!! The flowers were incredible quality, came to me arranged via Fedex two days before the wedding and the customer service was great. My coordinator has serious reservations about this but when she saw them she was completely bowled over by how great they were! :) I got the "Forever yours" collection and opted to use a maid of honor bouquet (just 5 blossoms short of the bridal bouquet) and it worked great!
DayOfCoordinator - I found someone via Craigslist and basically bartered services. In my case it worked out because she is very reputable but you can easily find someone who would work "cheaply" just to build their own portfolio! Or you could delegate this out to someone responsible that you know!
Photography - this might not work for you since I'm actually a wedding photographer myself but I worked this off in trade as well! In the past six months I worked with a very well established husband and wife team assisting them at jobs and this paid off a negotiated package of only digital negatives and online hosting. It's ended up being a win-win solution because I got what I wanted (and REALLY good quality work at that!) and has also established a new working relationship with them as they want me to continue working with them!!!
Reception/Food - My family is Asian and we held the reception as a Vietnamese restaurant (my dad is VN) that has never hosted a wedding before. This helped them to gain experience without us sacrificing the quality of food or having to pay extra overhead for renting a venue AND hiring a caterer
These are just the major things that I saved on but everything else was saved by shopping around, DIY projects, and shopping for things as I went along instead of all at once! It also helped to use giftcards that we got for holidays to buy things for the wedding in addition to tapping into my network of friends and family to find people that were willing to help out.
Don't cancel - forge on!!! It makes it all the more worth it in the end!!! We pulled off such an amazing event that our wedding was actually selected to be on "Whose wedding is it anyway." The impossible IS possible. Contact me via my blog if you have any other questions of how I accomplished my seemingly impossible wedding!!!
Not to be harsh, but you should never enter into a marriage with debt from your wedding if you can help it. Debt and finances are the number one cause of divorce - why saddle yourself with an uphill battle when you don't have to? Debt of any kind, should be your very very last option.
From reading your post, it is clear what is important to you is being married -not the wedding, and you can do that without a big expense. Scale back, have a intimate ceremony with a smaller guest list and accept that you will have the best wedding you can afford.
And you could get a second job, just get it where you commute to - so that you are just commuting home later in the day. If you worked a second job for 15 hours a week at even just $7 an hour and started at the beginning of March, you could earn about 3k. If he did the same, that would give you a budget of 6k - you can throw a great intimate wedding for that. It will be tough, but getting out of debt will pave a road to a much happier marriage than a big wedding will.
And get creative! Take a second job somewhere that would benefit your wedding needs (a restuarant to have your reception at, a dress shop, etc). If you have trade-able skills, try to negotiote with those as well. Look to your close family and friends - are their skills, locations, affiliations and people in their networks that you could tap into for your needs for the day? Find ways to personalize and make your day unique without busting the wallet out. If you truly re-commit to a different vision, I think you will find you can plan a fabulous wedding with no regrets. It is just about choosing to reframe your priorities, not trying to pull off your previous plans at a cheaper level. Happiness is being satisified with what you have, not wanting what you don't.
i agree with maple. you've already got 1000 and a dress. if you save $100/month from now until then, that's another 900. i think your mom will completely understand if you need to cut the guest list for this reason.
pleeeeeeeeeeease don't take out more debt. you will definitely regret it in the long run!!!
to put things in perspective, my parents got married in my grandparents' living room with about 40 guests. they had a catered buffet and pictures that we still laugh about. and 30 years later, they're still happily married and wouldn't have had it any other way -- they just wanted to be married! granted, my mom is living out her dream wedding now vicariously through me... =)
posted by rebecca 6 months agoThough my parents are contributing a generous sum, there were a few things that I wanted that I would not be able to afford without going into debt. One of them is my dress, which I fell in love with without checking the price first. My fiance and I decided to postpone our wedding (summer '09 instead of summer '08) and it couldn't have worked out better! We started booking vendors early and ended up getting everyone we wanted (They all had our date open) for the 2007 prices. Having that extra year also helped us save some $$. Maybe moving it one year later might work? You could also try avoiding the high season (May-October) and save some $ there. If you are attached to your date, maybe you could downsize?
I just posted an entry about saving $ on my blog. Maybe there are some tips that might help you?
http://www.mint2betogether.blogspot.com/
Good luck! I am pulling for you!
posted by ErinMarieMack 6 months agoHi there -- I'm so sorry you got this shock... But I agree with the people who say it was a blessing in disguise.
You can still get married November 1. You can still have a more than a JOP wedding. You just have to scale back. Maybe way back. But starting out your marriage with a new, totally avoidable cloud like a wedding loan over your head is a bad idea, especially since you already have the other debts you mentioned. Money can really futz with your marriage, and a wedding is not worth it if it adds stress like that.
Please just give yourself time to get used to the idea.
And then check out "Smart Couples Finish Rich" from the library -- it's really helped me and my husband get off on the right foot :)
Good luck!
posted by tarlonda 6 months agoThis board it great - You are getting great advice!
I second louvigilante - pick a date in 2009 for your big party/wedding - then back it up to this year and plan an intimate wedding with your immidiate family. Doesn't have to be at the JoP. It could be on a piece of public land with a friend who's gotten ordained online for free! Seriously you could have a wonderfully romantic wedding for next to nothing. Then focus on paying off debt and saving up money for your big event next year on your 1 year anniversary! It doesn't have to be just a party - you can reinact the wedding and do the whole nine yards if you'd like. Although - in your situation I'm guessing it'll still need to be a thrifty affair - you'll just be able to include everyone who loves you guys!!
You do not want to start your life together by going into even more debt for a wedding. You already trying to get out of debt and know how stressful and difficult that is!! Imagine how many years you'd be adding to your debt pay-off plan if you financed the wedding! If you ran those numbers it'd probably shock you!!!
This is just a random suggestion, take it or leave it. My husband and I took Dave Ramsey's Financial Peace University class right after we were married and it was a wonderful blessing for us! It helped us really focus and be disciplined with our financial goals. Plus it covers the whole realm of finances - not just credit cards. Anyways - sounds like you guys could benefit - just google Dave Ramsey and you'll be able to find a class offered in your area.
Best of luck to you guys! I know your wedding will be a very very special day!!
posted by jilian 6 months agoI second Dave Ramsey! Its great. Have a huge 1 year anniversary party. It will could be a "We beat the Odds" party. We are thinking of moving our honeymoon to our first anniversary. You could also register for a honeymoon, which is a polite way of asking for money without asking for it.
posted by MissRojoOso 6 months agoWe're paying for it 100%. We both make very comfortable salaries and we are *still* having a post-elopement wedding party that's inexpensive (compared to a typical wedding). We're spending money on stuff that matters (food, atmosphere, our elopement trip) and ditching everything else (flowers, favors, engraved invites, wedding gown, DJ, cake, limo, sit down dinner, rehearsal dinner, extensive photography). We can afford it, but we'd rather buy a car or like 5 huge vacations.
You'll still be just as married if you don't spend $3000 on tulle and $2000 on personalized napkins. People want to see you happy, have a good time celebrating with you, and if they are upset because you fed them BBQ instead of lobster, their opinion isn't worth worrying about.
posted by MissBanana 6 months agoI second, third or whatever the count is now for NOT getting a loan for the wedding! For me, a small wedding was not an option (first to get married...asian girl...it has to be bigger than big) so I KNOW what you're going through!
What we did was that we waited. Fiance had a lot of bills, and I wanted him to have them paid off (interest rates are too high on credit/personal loans, so we wanted to get them paid off earlier the better). It was a hard and frustrating period (took a year!) I don't advised anyone to ever get into that situation! I was pretty ticked off at fiance for having incurred so much debt (was out of his control though, but still...irked beyond belief). Don't do it, it is not worth the frustration of having to send all your future hard earned money to credit card companies (especially when the house market is more affortable)!
What we ended up doing was that after paying off all credit card bills, we would save 1/3 of our income by having it automatically deducted from our accounts everytime we get paid! That's over 1K every two weeks, more if we could afford to do so. It takes a LOT of discipine, but we are paying for everything ourselves, and it has to be done. To supplement that, I'm going the DIY route and doing everything that I could do (i'm still in the process of trying to see what more I can do). If I have the time and creativity for the tasks, i'm doing them. If my friends and family members have a creative gift that I can exploit for the wedding..they're doing it (i find that people would love to be involved where they can). Though we're not getting any monetary contributation from anyone, we've got plenty of physical labor and that's just as good.
I suggest sitting down and think hard as to what is most important to you; wait a few months for when you have more money, scale down the wedding, going the DIY route or whatever the case may be...it is ultimately up to YOU AND YOUR FIANCE. For us, a piece of paper that said we're married doesn't necessary say he loves me more or that I love him more. We just wanted to celebrate our union properly, at the right time where we can both afford to do so. We simply didn't want to go into the marriage in debt.
posted by lanny9 6 months agoI agree with everyone - do NOT go into more debt. But, I think you have learned that lesson already.
Since you still want a celebration, get married in a church, and then instead of renting out a hall, why not have a cake and punch reception at a public park or other public facility (rec center, etc)? One of the best weddings I've ever attended was thrown by a couple who had no money; they brought in a boom box and strung up paper lanterns. They looked so happy and nobody cared that the food wasn't spectacular or that there weren't fancy decorations.
In a year or so, once you get on your feet again, throw a huge fancy party of your dreams. Like everyone else has said, the important thing here is your union with your fiance. Parties come and go, but your love and support of one another is what counts!
posted by wyobride 6 months agoSorry to hear about your situation. Like others have said you can scale back, do a lot of DIY and see if you can use Craigslist for everything from decor to finding an up and coming photographer who is trying to build up their profolio. Another thing to consider is sponsorship. I just saw an ad for it the other day. It is not for everyone and they only offer it at certain locations. Here is a link to learn more http://www.sponsoryourwedding.com/
Good luck, hope everything works out for you and FI.
posted by Luxe 6 months agoThank you everyone for sooo much hardcore advice. i must admit, i am a dry husk from crying sooo many tears. but i considered earlier, before reading it here, that this could be a blessing in disguise.
i have to let go of the myth that society has taught me about my wedding day.
i must admit, it will be hard letting go, but if i scout around, some affordable options can come available.
the most important thing is our union. i will be no more married at a $100,000 wedding than a $1000.
Thank you all sooo much, again.
posted by GetMarried4Less 6 months agoITA with maple. You can still celebrate!
Please, PLEASE try not to go into debt for your wedding. It really isn't worth it and you don't want to have to worry about paying off a wedding and worrying about paying your bills and your basic necessities.
Our wedding is being paid fully by savings.
posted by JCM9608 6 months agoMany vendors will accept a smaller deposit if you explain that you can't afford the full deposit amount right away. If there is one vendor you really want, try asking for a smaller deposit so you can lock in your date. For the other vendors, maybe try asking friends to perform those services for free. Can a cousin do your hair and makeup? Can your uncle photograph the wedding? Also ask vendors what are the minimum services you can book now. For example, we booked our photographer for taking pictures only. We will go back to get prints/albums a year after the wedding when we can afford them.
posted by snmcdowell 6 months agoI don't think I explained what I meant with the Zopa thing. I do NOT think that you should be taking out additional debt to pay for your wedding. I do, however, think that you are in a great situation to get your debt consolidated. By doing that, you will be freeing up other money (because your monthly payment obligations are less) which you will then be able to save.
I consolidated my credit cards onto a 3.9% fixed APR American Express and I have been debt-free for a long time now. It reduced my montly obligation by $100, and when I continued to pay the same amount, I had my debt paid off in 2 years (instead of 4).
There are companies out there that can help you pay off your debt, even with a low credit score. Sure, your interest rate may be higher, but sometimes that's the price you pay to be debt free.
I just wanted to clarify what I meant. Best of luck to you!
posted by dani 6 months agoYou really should elope. Go to an Island for 3 or 4 days. You can get some good deals and if you can use the $1k I think grandmom is giving you that can help pay for your trip.
I got married(my first marriage) at Breezes in the Bahamas and the wedding was free. All we paid for was our room and airfare and it was all inclusive. Trust me I was ver poor at the time 24 and making $8/hr and I was the head bread winner my husband at the time was finishing up his degree.
It's not good to start your married life out in debt. That can only cause problems. I would work on eliminating my debt (not creating more).
posted by May08LBI 6 months agoI have to agree with others that this may be a blessing in disguise and also that it would be wise (and an idea you can really get used to) to save some money by scaling back.
To add to all that, I would say postponing the wedding date is also not the end of the world. Due to various circumstances, my FH and I also had to postpone our date and at first I was in horror, but now I feel so much better about the whole thing. It sounds like financing a wedding is not going to be your only issue concerning funds. Since you live at home with the parents right now, will you both be looking for a new place? Or moving into his? In any case, with marriage comes a lot of other expenses - so I find that I feel a lot more comfortable now knowing that we have those few extra months to work and save up more money - not necessarily for the wedding (because we are continuing with the idea of scaling back) but for our life together, which is so much more important :)
Good luck! you are not alone ;) xo
posted by pancy 6 months agoI come from a big farming family, and have been to soooo many receptions held in grange halls or church basements or backyards, with a lovely cake and a potluck. I have also been to lots of "open house" receptions that are appetizers or desserts only. Trust me, the people who love you will have a great time either way, because they are happy for you and happy to be with you. And its all the smiling faces and good wishes that you will remember most fondly.
posted by suzanno 6 months agoYeah, we had a reality check when it came to the food, so we had a local BBQ joint supply their best BBQ meats and then we asked that everyone bring a side dish. It was awesome and cost much less than full catering.
posted by Angel 6 months agothanks again!
i will be moving into his apartment in Pittsburgh. we sought it out with the thought that I would eventually move in, so i really like the place (and he can afford it on his own. BONUS)...I am definitely thinking of all the expenses of me moving up there and us getting settled. That is one of my top concerns even when we thought we had money.
I am looking into a credt agency (excellent Better Business Bureau report) to pull everything into one lump payment. The whole point of moving home was to get myself into a better financial position. i hope to get the ball rolling on that this upcoming Monday since I'm off for the holiday. I thought I could do it without one of those services, but this way is more efficient and simple in the end.
Getting more debt would clearly not help the situation....I am trying to convince my FI of this, who feels like he's failed me, but I am trying to show him the silver lining here.
I still cry from time to time but i am relying on my faith. I feel that God will show us a way. that we need to just "be still" for a moment and see what it is He wants us to do.
i was just admiring the last Real Wedding: http://www.weddingbee.com/2008/02/08/real-wedding-aleksandra-nathan/
and am hopeful.......
posted by GetMarried4Less 6 months agoWhere there's a WILL there's always a way!!!
Don't give up hope yet.
I suggest some "creative budgeting." I live in the DC area and was able to do a wedding for under 10K. This is a significant amount of savings considering most weddings go for AT LEAST 20-30K. How did I do it? Here's how:
These are just the major things that I saved on but everything else was saved by shopping around, DIY projects, and shopping for things as I went along instead of all at once! It also helped to use giftcards that we got for holidays to buy things for the wedding in addition to tapping into my network of friends and family to find people that were willing to help out.
Don't cancel - forge on!!! It makes it all the more worth it in the end!!! We pulled off such an amazing event that our wedding was actually selected to be on "Whose wedding is it anyway." The impossible IS possible.
Contact me via my blog if you have any other questions of how I accomplished my seemingly impossible wedding!!!
posted by quynhie 6 months agoNot to be harsh, but you should never enter into a marriage with debt from your wedding if you can help it. Debt and finances are the number one cause of divorce - why saddle yourself with an uphill battle when you don't have to? Debt of any kind, should be your very very last option.
From reading your post, it is clear what is important to you is being married -not the wedding, and you can do that without a big expense. Scale back, have a intimate ceremony with a smaller guest list and accept that you will have the best wedding you can afford.
And you could get a second job, just get it where you commute to - so that you are just commuting home later in the day. If you worked a second job for 15 hours a week at even just $7 an hour and started at the beginning of March, you could earn about 3k. If he did the same, that would give you a budget of 6k - you can throw a great intimate wedding for that. It will be tough, but getting out of debt will pave a road to a much happier marriage than a big wedding will.
And get creative! Take a second job somewhere that would benefit your wedding needs (a restuarant to have your reception at, a dress shop, etc). If you have trade-able skills, try to negotiote with those as well. Look to your close family and friends - are their skills, locations, affiliations and people in their networks that you could tap into for your needs for the day? Find ways to personalize and make your day unique without busting the wallet out. If you truly re-commit to a different vision, I think you will find you can plan a fabulous wedding with no regrets. It is just about choosing to reframe your priorities, not trying to pull off your previous plans at a cheaper level. Happiness is being satisified with what you have, not wanting what you don't.
Good Luck!
posted by mthree 6 months ago