I've seen about 18 places already. I've talked to a million people on the phone and via email. I've seen a million more places online and other resources. I'm stressed out, tired, and depressed.
We have a $20k budget (we're putting in $10k; my parents are putting in $10k). Our budget needs to cover venue fees, food & beverage, photography, dj, florals & linens, and favors. Why does it seem impossible? Why does it seem like you need at least $40k to have a nice wedding?
There's a lot more I'm not saying but basically, we're having a hard time compromising on a lot of things. Our budget. location, and guest list are probably the biggest issues.
I'm seriously at the end of my rope, and I don't want to sound bratty (cuz i know i am). but after 7 years of being together, i know I should be content with wherever we get married, but I just can't be okay with that for some reason. I suppose it's the romantic in me, but my heart breaks when i imagine my wedding in a place in which I don't have 60% satisfaction. To which I might decide to not have a wedding at all...why waste your money if it's not at least half the wedding you want?
Anyways, I just wanted to rant. Thanks for reading. Does anyone else feel like this? Am I just too hard to please?
Maybe i've missed some places. If anyone needs pricing or comparison lists in excel, please let me know.
have you looked into any of the yacht weddings?? My friend got married on a yacht out of Newport...it was one of the nicest weddings I've gone to...and it was ALL inclusive.
ugh...we are so picky...we don't like the idea. it reminds us of sorority and fraternity booze cruise parties...i bet it's probably more classy, but most importantly...we really feel it doesn't reflect our personality and style. =( we haven't ruled it out, but it's definitely not at the top of our list.
i definately, definately feel your pain. my fiance, and both our families, are all from the midwest, and planning a wedding in LA has been out of control!! our budget was out the window a long time ago ... we're down to "do what you can."
that being said - there's nothing wrong with wanting to be happy with your venue. it's a lot of money, and a huge part of the day! i'd recommend looking at a place where you can do ceremony + reception; it's sometimes cheaper in the long run.
if you'd be willing to look a little further north ... maybe la venta (in the off season!!!) or palos verdes golf course in PV ... or the reef restaurant or coast long beach hotel in long beach? sorry i'm not more help in OC ... we didn't really look there.
Would you consider a decent part of Long Beach? My venue is the Betty H. Reckas Cultural Center. It's a classy venue, no rental fee, but you have to use their caterer, which is good. What kind of venue are you looking for?
I've tried to venture out of the OC, but both FI and my parents think we need to keep it close to home b/c of many out-of-towners and older guests.
We actually checked out the Betty H. Reckas CC, but the parents still thought it was too far. Westinster is too far for them?!? I know. It's a lot of limitations to have, and it puts us into a worse position.
Had the intention to check out the Reef, but was shot down b/c of location. I also was totally going to check out the Clarke Estate in Santa Fe Springs, but when I told everyone where it was, I was shot down again.
Here are the places I've checked out physically: The Villa in Westminster, Westminster Rose Center, Tustin Ranch Golf Club, OCMA, Newport Dunes, Franciscan Gardens & El Adobe in SJC, Park Prive in Costa Mesa, Arroyo Trabuco in Mission Viejo, private estate in Laguna Beach, Lido Isle Yacht Club, Techspace in Aliso Viejo, RecCenter Studio & KGB in LA, Irvine Hilton, NB Radisson, Hyatt NB, LA Arboretum, and Betty H. Reckas Cultural Center.
My parents have checked out Dove Canyon Country Club, Coto de Caza Country Club, Laguna Cliffs Marriott (don't know why...so out of budget), Irvine Marriott and Hyatt...Fi checked out Courtside in San Clemente.
I have a ton of wedding packages via email from San Diego to Paso Robles.
If you have a $20,000 budget and are not finding things "acceptable" to the family, then you should probably have a chat with your family about what $20,000 does and does not buy in your area. Perhaps their expectations are based on an economy from 20 years ago. If you liked those places that your family deemed "too far" and they are within your budget, break down the numbers for them.
Hi Reesey, sorry to hear about your ordeal. I think I will be running into the same problem with my budget -- I haven't even started my search for a venue. I don't know what kind of venue you guys are looking at and how big your wedding is going to be, but you might want to check out Cannon's in Dana Point -- if that's not too far for your family. My fiance and I went there for our anniversary dinner last year and a wedding was taking place at that time outside in their deck area. I don't know all the details but it seems affordable and might be worth checking out and finding out. Its a nice venue since its near the water. Hope this helps!
I would say check the Grand Tradition. I have a lot of friends getting married there. Apparently, they have a heart shaped lake...cheesy if you ask me but they really like it. I am not sure on costs but just another option. Hope it works out!
I went to a nice wedding at Ole Hason Beach Club in San Clemente. It's right by the water and the ceremony was held on the lawn. From what I understand, the rates are pretty reasonable.
Check out Strawberry Farms in Irvine, The Summit House in Fullerton, adn there is a very nice banquet hall on Beach Blvd. in the fullerton/brea area this is affordable.
Don't get depressed. You're bound to find a place! I agree with CarolineG..sometimes family doesn't know what the real cost of a wedding is these days until you show them the numbers that you're dealing with. What's your central area?
I helped my sister look for unique locations in OC. So here are the locations we came up with. She eventually decided to do a destination wedding in Cancun to limit the number of guests. Hope you find something that you feel comfortable with.
My parents are in Lake Forest; FI and I are in Irvine. We want family to fly into John Wayne. For my family, when there's a wedding, it's also a family reunion...so it's important to stay local.
Guest list is at 197 (our parents are pretty sure that 20 ppl won't show up...but afraid they might come anyway). I know the easiest solution is to cut it or increase the budget. And asking for my parents to give us more money is not something I want to do...they'll be dipping into their retirement savings.
I really think it's not worth it if it's not going to be the way I want it. It looks like we may settle for one of the two that can fit our budget though. God, I should just be happy that I'm marrying the love of my life. why do i want the wonderfully stupid ridiculous fantabulous wedding?...ugh...I know why...
I don't know if I'll be of any help, but I'm in Irvine, too.
My knot bio gives a lot of breakdowns that I did with all my expenses and how to cut corners. We didn't have a $20,000 budget (it was less), but we could have almost gone up to that and still pulled it all together.
Try the El Niguel Country Club. I'm not a big fan of country clubs but my sister got married here and it was really nice. They don't advertise on any of the major wedding websites which I think helps keep there prices better than a lot of other places. It would be pretty close for you and your family. The food was good and you don't have to worry about extra linen or chair rentals because they actually have nice stuff and different color choices from what I remember. I'm sure it has gotten more expensive since my sister was married but a friend of mine recently checked it out and said it was reasonable.
Crystal Ballroom, Holiday Inn, Laguna Hills (this is the venue I went with, and I have a similar budget - call and ask for Leala, she's the manager). I know, you're thinking 'the Holiday Inn?!', I did too, and so did my parents, but it's actually a really nice ballroom, and you get the mezzanine for cocktails, and we ended up loving it.
Christian Wedding Planning Center - You don't have to be Christian. They have all inclusive packages in your price range. The last I heard from them they were considering closing Ridgeview and opening a new venue, but their website isn't reflecting those changes yet. At any rate, can't hurt to call and ask. They were definitely in the running for us but we really wanted Ridgeview, and they couldn't confirm that it would be available for our date.
Parks and Community Centers: there's a good list here. We were ready to book the Laguna Hills Community Center, but someone beat us to the punch for our date. San Juan Capistrano is nice too, but doesn't have a good place for the ceremony (which was one of our requirements). The Norman P Murray Senior Center in Mission Viejo just was renovated and expanded, so that's a good option too. We liked the community centers over the parks because most of the parks don't allow alcohol, and weather was a concern (November) but if that's not an issue for you there are a lot of great parks around here. Another thing to consider is catering and rentals can add up quickly, so keep that in mind for the price.
Finding a venue was the hardest thing (so far, knock on wood), and frequently had me in stressed out tears for months. So I know what you're going through. I hope you find something you love.
Thanks for all your suggestions. I have seen all the places that everyone has suggested. I'm just not happy with the ones that are in our affordability range.
How do you get over the feeling of not loving where you're going to be married?
I've seen about 18 places already. I've talked to a million people on the phone and via email. I've seen a million more places online and other resources. I'm stressed out, tired, and depressed.
We have a $20k budget (we're putting in $10k; my parents are putting in $10k). Our budget needs to cover venue fees, food & beverage, photography, dj, florals & linens, and favors. Why does it seem impossible? Why does it seem like you need at least $40k to have a nice wedding?
There's a lot more I'm not saying but basically, we're having a hard time compromising on a lot of things. Our budget. location, and guest list are probably the biggest issues.
I'm seriously at the end of my rope, and I don't want to sound bratty (cuz i know i am). but after 7 years of being together, i know I should be content with wherever we get married, but I just can't be okay with that for some reason. I suppose it's the romantic in me, but my heart breaks when i imagine my wedding in a place in which I don't have 60% satisfaction. To which I might decide to not have a wedding at all...why waste your money if it's not at least half the wedding you want?
Anyways, I just wanted to rant. Thanks for reading. Does anyone else feel like this? Am I just too hard to please?
Maybe i've missed some places. If anyone needs pricing or comparison lists in excel, please let me know.
posted by reesey 68 posts 4 months agohave you looked into any of the yacht weddings?? My friend got married on a yacht out of Newport...it was one of the nicest weddings I've gone to...and it was ALL inclusive.
posted by litsecretary 76 posts 4 months agough...we are so picky...we don't like the idea. it reminds us of sorority and fraternity booze cruise parties...i bet it's probably more classy, but most importantly...we really feel it doesn't reflect our personality and style. =( we haven't ruled it out, but it's definitely not at the top of our list.
thank you for the suggestion though!
posted by reesey 68 posts 4 months agoi definately, definately feel your pain. my fiance, and both our families, are all from the midwest, and planning a wedding in LA has been out of control!! our budget was out the window a long time ago ... we're down to "do what you can."
that being said - there's nothing wrong with wanting to be happy with your venue. it's a lot of money, and a huge part of the day! i'd recommend looking at a place where you can do ceremony + reception; it's sometimes cheaper in the long run.
if you'd be willing to look a little further north ... maybe la venta (in the off season!!!) or palos verdes golf course in PV ... or the reef restaurant or coast long beach hotel in long beach? sorry i'm not more help in OC ... we didn't really look there.
good luck & hang in there!!!!
posted by emmyleeee 44 posts 4 months agoWould you consider a decent part of Long Beach? My venue is the Betty H. Reckas Cultural Center. It's a classy venue, no rental fee, but you have to use their caterer, which is good. What kind of venue are you looking for?
posted by silverstar 32 posts 4 months agoI've tried to venture out of the OC, but both FI and my parents think we need to keep it close to home b/c of many out-of-towners and older guests.
We actually checked out the Betty H. Reckas CC, but the parents still thought it was too far. Westinster is too far for them?!? I know. It's a lot of limitations to have, and it puts us into a worse position.
Had the intention to check out the Reef, but was shot down b/c of location. I also was totally going to check out the Clarke Estate in Santa Fe Springs, but when I told everyone where it was, I was shot down again.
Here are the places I've checked out physically: The Villa in Westminster, Westminster Rose Center, Tustin Ranch Golf Club, OCMA, Newport Dunes, Franciscan Gardens & El Adobe in SJC, Park Prive in Costa Mesa, Arroyo Trabuco in Mission Viejo, private estate in Laguna Beach, Lido Isle Yacht Club, Techspace in Aliso Viejo, RecCenter Studio & KGB in LA, Irvine Hilton, NB Radisson, Hyatt NB, LA Arboretum, and Betty H. Reckas Cultural Center.
My parents have checked out Dove Canyon Country Club, Coto de Caza Country Club, Laguna Cliffs Marriott (don't know why...so out of budget), Irvine Marriott and Hyatt...Fi checked out Courtside in San Clemente.
I have a ton of wedding packages via email from San Diego to Paso Robles.
If you need info, PM me.
posted by reesey 68 posts 4 months agoIf you have a $20,000 budget and are not finding things "acceptable" to the family, then you should probably have a chat with your family about what $20,000 does and does not buy in your area. Perhaps their expectations are based on an economy from 20 years ago. If you liked those places that your family deemed "too far" and they are within your budget, break down the numbers for them.
posted by CarolineG 284 posts 4 months agoHi Reesey, sorry to hear about your ordeal. I think I will be running into the same problem with my budget -- I haven't even started my search for a venue. I don't know what kind of venue you guys are looking at and how big your wedding is going to be, but you might want to check out Cannon's in Dana Point -- if that's not too far for your family. My fiance and I went there for our anniversary dinner last year and a wedding was taking place at that time outside in their deck area. I don't know all the details but it seems affordable and might be worth checking out and finding out. Its a nice venue since its near the water. Hope this helps!
posted by y3llowbee 8 posts 4 months agoI would say check the Grand Tradition. I have a lot of friends getting married there. Apparently, they have a heart shaped lake...cheesy if you ask me but they really like it. I am not sure on costs but just another option. Hope it works out!
posted by MrsSpitzer 75 posts 4 months agoI went to a nice wedding at Ole Hason Beach Club in San Clemente. It's right by the water and the ceremony was held on the lawn. From what I understand, the rates are pretty reasonable.
posted by gingerbread 98 posts 4 months agoCheck out Strawberry Farms in Irvine, The Summit House in Fullerton, adn there is a very nice banquet hall on Beach Blvd. in the fullerton/brea area this is affordable.
posted by caliocteach 716 posts 4 months agoHave you looked at the Turnip Rose in Costa Mesa? I've heard very good things about it.
http://www.turniprose.com/GrandNewportPlaza.htm
posted by litsecretary 76 posts 4 months agoDon't get depressed. You're bound to find a place! I agree with CarolineG..sometimes family doesn't know what the real cost of a wedding is these days until you show them the numbers that you're dealing with. What's your central area?
posted by silverstar 32 posts 4 months agoHow many guests are you planning to have?
posted by MrsBearini 17 posts 4 months agoHi Reesy,
I helped my sister look for unique locations in OC. So here are the locations we came up with. She eventually decided to do a destination wedding in Cancun to limit the number of guests.
Hope you find something that you feel comfortable with.
http://www.rancholaslomas.com
http://www.caprilaguna.com
http://www.cityoffullerton.com/depts/parks_n_recreation/hillcrest_terrace.asp
http://www.centennialmuseum.org
http://fullertonarboretum.org
http://www.orangecountymansion.com
http://www.marconimuseum.org
posted by MrsBearini 17 posts 4 months agoMy parents are in Lake Forest; FI and I are in Irvine. We want family to fly into John Wayne. For my family, when there's a wedding, it's also a family reunion...so it's important to stay local.
Guest list is at 197 (our parents are pretty sure that 20 ppl won't show up...but afraid they might come anyway). I know the easiest solution is to cut it or increase the budget. And asking for my parents to give us more money is not something I want to do...they'll be dipping into their retirement savings.
I really think it's not worth it if it's not going to be the way I want it. It looks like we may settle for one of the two that can fit our budget though. God, I should just be happy that I'm marrying the love of my life. why do i want the wonderfully stupid ridiculous fantabulous wedding?...ugh...I know why...
posted by reesey 68 posts 4 months agoI don't know if I'll be of any help, but I'm in Irvine, too.
My knot bio gives a lot of breakdowns that I did with all my expenses and how to cut corners. We didn't have a $20,000 budget (it was less), but we could have almost gone up to that and still pulled it all together.
HTH:
http://community.theknot.com/cs/ks/user/page.aspx?username=missmandy77
posted by MissMandy 110 posts 4 months agoTry the El Niguel Country Club. I'm not a big fan of country clubs but my sister got married here and it was really nice. They don't advertise on any of the major wedding websites which I think helps keep there prices better than a lot of other places. It would be pretty close for you and your family. The food was good and you don't have to worry about extra linen or chair rentals because they actually have nice stuff and different color choices from what I remember. I'm sure it has gotten more expensive since my sister was married but a friend of mine recently checked it out and said it was reasonable.
posted by jenjen08 21 posts 4 months agoA couple more options to look at:
Crystal Ballroom, Holiday Inn, Laguna Hills (this is the venue I went with, and I have a similar budget - call and ask for Leala, she's the manager). I know, you're thinking 'the Holiday Inn?!', I did too, and so did my parents, but it's actually a really nice ballroom, and you get the mezzanine for cocktails, and we ended up loving it.
Christian Wedding Planning Center - You don't have to be Christian. They have all inclusive packages in your price range. The last I heard from them they were considering closing Ridgeview and opening a new venue, but their website isn't reflecting those changes yet. At any rate, can't hurt to call and ask. They were definitely in the running for us but we really wanted Ridgeview, and they couldn't confirm that it would be available for our date.
Parks and Community Centers: there's a good list here. We were ready to book the Laguna Hills Community Center, but someone beat us to the punch for our date. San Juan Capistrano is nice too, but doesn't have a good place for the ceremony (which was one of our requirements). The Norman P Murray Senior Center in Mission Viejo just was renovated and expanded, so that's a good option too. We liked the community centers over the parks because most of the parks don't allow alcohol, and weather was a concern (November) but if that's not an issue for you there are a lot of great parks around here. Another thing to consider is catering and rentals can add up quickly, so keep that in mind for the price.
Finding a venue was the hardest thing (so far, knock on wood), and frequently had me in stressed out tears for months. So I know what you're going through. I hope you find something you love.
posted by Pengwen 57 posts 4 months agoThanks for all your suggestions. I have seen all the places that everyone has suggested. I'm just not happy with the ones that are in our affordability range.
How do you get over the feeling of not loving where you're going to be married?
posted by reesey 68 posts 4 months ago