- Blog
- Bios
- Boards
- Classifieds
- DIY
- Gallery
- Vendor Reviews
- Shop Weddingbee
Weddingbee boards
Ok, well I'm come to the realization that I don't think Mrs. Crazy is going to respond to the email I sent her. Since then, she has been online a billion times (we can see that from Facebook). Perhaps she thought that my email was rude. I guess she was most definitely surprised to learn that daughter is not welcome. Here are her options:
1. Show up with her husband, as invited.
2. Decline our invitation (ohhh if I could be so lucky!)
3. Show up with her husband and daughter.
FI and FMIL thought she'd have responded by now. My biggest fear is that she'll blatentely ignore our wishes and purchase three plane tickets prior to receiving the invitation. I need to contact her one more time to give her the URL to our website. Is there something specific you think I should say in that email? I am overreacting about daughter?
Maybe with my guest list of 200, these three crazies will just disappear into the crowd.
At this point, she would not be getting an invite. I'd be done. She doesn't even have the courtesy to answer an e-mail and has blatantly disrepected you.... nope. I'd be putting my foot down. This woman is going to do nothing but cause some major trouble and drama on the day.
I understand how torn you are about all this. I'm really sorry that you are caught up in this ridiculous situation. I really hope it works out for the better for you.
Yeah, agree with the PP. Can't respond to an email from the bride? Nope, sorry, you're out. Done!
Wow, I can't believe that she didn't respond. It wasn't like it was a group email...perhaps she just didn't know what to say.
I'm hoping for option 1 or 2 for you. Got to give it to crazy; her pattern of unpredictable, crazy behavior is consistent. :)
I would (unfortunately) plan to have a back-up plan in case the daughter shows. Maybe like another member of the hive is thinking for her wedding of having a hostess table. So if the dreaded daughter does show up, it will be embarrassing that she doesn't have a spot at the table (even if they RSVP for 3 people). Also maybe for just their RSVP card you could put "We have reserved 2 spots for you."
OK first of all, your email wasn't rude. It was really polite given the craziness level of the person you're dealing with. If she buys a plane ticket for her daughter when you made it clear that you would be inviting her and her husband, IMO that's her problem. She is well aware at this point that the daughter isn't invited and that she shouldn't buy a ticket for her so if she does then she's got a reality check coming her way. Stay firm on this.
I completely support the way that you have handled this and sympathize with how aggravating this must be, but, I do have to agree with your note that it's possible that the three of them will just fade into the background. Two hundred guests is a LOT of people in one space. You are fully in the right to determine who comes to your wedding and who doesn't, and she is behaving rudely, but I would encourage you to let it go if you can find yourself able to do so. You are going to be swept up in the excitement of your day and I wouldn't be surprised, with that many bodies in the room, if you don't even see them once. She isn't worth getting worked up over.
Your email was perfect. She deffinatly should have gotten the picture that the daughter isn't invited. But by the way she is acting, sounds like she just doesn't care. Hopefully she won't bring the daughter at least out of respect for your finace if not for you. Maybe if your finace would have sent the email (or maybe he still could in some way) she would listen to him. I don't know, this women is sooooooo disrespectful. But Im sure even if the daughter comes, you have nothing to worry about (if she is anything like her mom, lol). Good luck girl!
Come on, you guys! The email that VirginiaMarie (OP) sent didn't require a response! The woman has been rude previously, but there was nothing in this particular email that needed something from her, and I don't think it was rude not to respond to it.
That said, I think you've handled the situation well, and I would just leave it alone, and pray that she doesn't show up. Send her the url, but if she hasn't gotten the hint about the daughter, she never will. Do you have a DOC? If so, inform her that there might be some "extras" and wash your hands of it.
Hmm have you thought of calling her? Your e-mail was really good and should have got the message accross but she's just plain rude and sounds like she doesn't care. So maybe you call her and give her the URL and take the opportunity to find out what her plans are.
@Rocktsrgn---You may be right. I wish I had thought of that prior to sending my email. I may not be giving her enough credit. I just assumed that you would respond to an email of the bride of your "sweet son", who was reaching out to you. Granted, Mrs. Crazy is, in fact, crazy, and she very well may have felt my email did not require a courtesy response.
I need to realx, and not let Mrs. Crazy make me feel like a bad bride. I want to get back to being awesome, happy bride! Screw Mrs. Crazy. No Christmas cards for you!
@ Rocktsrgn
I just wanted to say that I believe almost any email deserves a response, I think it is very rude to not acknowledge it in some way, regardless of the situation.
@OP - Yeah! My main concern would be that she's taking the joy out of this for you. And it's difficult to apply logic to crazies, you know? =)
@acorn - I dunno. Maybe my email etiquette is lacking? But I really consider email to be an informal method of communication, and if no response is required, I don't send one - I've got enough junk in my inbox! =)
I think the email clearly required a response - if someone you didn't know personally, but whose wedding you were planning on inviting your daughter to wrote you an email reaching out to talk, don't you think you'd feel compelled to respond?
VirginiaMarie, I don't know what to tell you, except I think this is her way of not wanting to concede that her behavior was manipulative and inappropriate.
I kind of want her to go bat-poop crazy on you so we can all have a good laugh at her. Don't let the likes of her get to you. You can always accidentally forget to give them a seat at the reception. OOps 
I think she's probably pissed because she didn't like the content of your email - you're not giving in to her craziness and inviting the daughter and doing exactly what she wants, even though you were as polite as humanly possible about it, and she got annoyed and didn't respond. I don't know if that means she's gonna go ahead and do what she wants anyway or not, but I'm pretty sure that's why she didn't respond.
ETA: @ejs - I was kind of thinking the same thing but I feel bad for poor VirginiaMarie so I didn't want to say it :) That being said, Virginia - worst case scenario happens and the daughter shows up you (a) don't have a seat for her and she'll be embarassed, and (b) you've got a great story to tell.
Yes, I dont know if that email warrented a response.
Don't worry about daughter. If you were having 50 people, I would understand, but with 200 people, yes, she will just get lost in the crowd.
Meh, I would have replied to it at least saying "Thanks for letting us know, we will go through you for the wedding stuff!" because obviously this lady is a talker, or she wouldn't be starting so much stuff on Facebook. I think she's either just pissed or pretending she didn't get it...
Ah yes, I understand the disappointment that Mrs. Crazy has not yet showed me her true colors. BUT I feel great because I have been able to laugh at her expense. Everyone on the internet knows Mrs. Crazy is crazy. My bridesmaids know she's crazy. My parents know she's crazy. FI and FMIL know that she's crazy. Around the house, I get this crazy look in my eye and change my voice as I say to FI "What would you like for dinner tonight, my sweet, sweeeeet son?!" and we both crack up laughing.
I am young and happy and blessed to be having a dream come true wedding. Her life sucks. Mine rocks. And at the end of the day, I'm the one sleeping with my catch of a FI! Not Mrs. Crazy!
@Virginia...if she makes plane reservations for 3 people knowing that only she and her husband are invited...that's her craziness.
You have been more than understanding and I really think that by now...your FI is probably fine with not inviting her. If she does rsvp with 3 people, have your FI call her and let her know that only her and her husband are invited.
I also think that your FI should follow up on the e-mail and maybe post a short msg on her FB stating that his lovely wife to be sent an e-mail and he just wanted to make sure she got it...and to reiterate that all wedding related information goes through you. That way she will know that you two are a unit and she needs to stop her foolishness.
She should have responded. Even with a quick "Thanks for the information, I will let you know if I have any questions." I would feel privileged that the bride during all of her bridal craziness actually sat down and took the time to write such a nice email as VM.
I wouldn't care if the daughter got "lost" in the crowd- I would not want her there. I agree with Zippylef, I am not sure that anyone would be geting an invitation at this point. VM gave her a chance even when she didn't have to and many people would not have. I would be done with her!
Did you send the message to her through facebook or to her actual email address? If you sent it to her actual email it may have been overlooked as bulk/junk mail!
I always worry about things like that :)
Are you having assigned seating?
If they do rsvp...then make 2 seats for them only. If they bring the daughter it would be funny because it would be obvious that there isn't a seat for her
And if they don't rsvp then don't put them on the seating chart. Thus same thing...if they show up it's kinda awkward to realize that you don't have a seat :-) hahahaha
This is so entertaining, by the way...
Ummmm the only advice I have to offer would be to make it look like you are contacting everyone with the URL, be that by an e-mail written to look like a mass e-mail, or make up a mock STD addressed to her and her husband with the URL included. Good luck and keep the updates coming, LOL :)
I wonder if FI resent her the same email if she would respond to him? Bottom line is their daughter is not invited. If she jumps the gun and buys a ticket then the daughter better have fun sitting alone in a hotel room because she won't be wanted/invited at your wedding!
Well, the email was singed by the both of us, and it was from MY email, but CC'd to his email as well. She knows it was no secret.
You're not overreacting at all! And in some cases, you might be able to shrug off the other person as someone who will blend into the crowd, but I certainly wouldn't want Mrs. Crazy to bring her daughter, whom she was trying to set up with your FI!
If you are going to contact her again to pass along your wedding website URL, maybe you would like to reiterate the fact that just she and her husband are invited, i.e.: "I look forward to meeting you and your husband".
Oh goodness, I can't believe how much time and thought you've had to put into this lady! That alone is so unfair to you!
I would probably leave it be, and on the invite put we have reserved 2 seats in your honor. __ of 2 attending.
Of course, if she alerts you to the plane tickets before the invites that could be another problem... lol
I agree with JamaciaBride. Maybe Mrs Crazy will respond to her "sweet son." then you would know
This woman is most definitely all sorts of inappropriate and I'm guessing several shades and forms of intoxicated. Has anyone else had the thought that she's full of it and her daughter is actually a lesbian and the mother is embarrassed so she's trying to make up for that . . . (I live in LA and I've seen to many friends go through crap when they came out to their parents I guess). I would strongly suggest if you're actually going through with inviting her, have someone run interference. If she grabs a mic make sure the DJ or band leader or whoever you have running that world know there needs to be a random electrical problem. Make sure people other than you and your FI and his family are aware of who she is and can keep an eye on her and make sure she behaves or can be escorted out if she continues her inappropriate behavior at your wedding. If she's posting this crap on facebook for all to see I'm guessing she may well continue at your wedding. Grief, substance abuse and insanity are a bad mix (she sounds like she's got at least one of those things going for her and maybe more). Has the daughter responded to any of the facebook posts? Is she even on her mothers page? Because seriously maybe they don't actually talk (would you to a mother like that?) and you'll be fine in the end anyway?
Question: did you send it to her Facebook mail account or did you send it to a normal email account?
I'm just wondering if it got stuck in her Junk Mailbox or something. Sometimes that happens with my hotmail if people aren't in my "contact list".
In either case, I would hope that the email served its purpose! I think you have been handling this whole situition perfectly.
I wasn't trying to make a joke about that either so sorry if it came off weird to anyone, it just seems "mom" is WAY over compensating with this whole "Sally is so bummed" thing, there's something beyond weird and that's where I went with it.
Maybe she didn't respond because she just didn't want to act like you exist? To respond in any way would mean she has to either be nice and acknowledge that her daughter has no chance and that she's being totally inappropriate, or rude and give you a reason not to send her an invite. She can't keep playing her game with your FI if she's also got to acknowledge you a an actual factor in her actions.
Also, if Mrs. Crazy's daughter is any kind of intelligent, free-thinking, independent woman, she will recognize her mother's crazy and decide for herself not to go to a wedding of someone she doesn't know just so her mother can pimp her out to the groom. And if the husband is sensible, he will eventually catch on to what his wife's doing and exercise some influence over it. Or at if she bullies him into going, he'll keep her in line at the wedding.
I definitely agree that you should instruct the DJ/MC to restrict the microphone!
@Cricket-- oh not all! I appreciate you thinking outside of the box! Daughter could be ANYTHING in the world--she's a complete stranger to us! Who knows.
I think I may wait, send her an email with the URL and say "FMIL mentioned Daughter expressed interested in coming. As sweet as that is, our venue just can't accomodate more guests. Nonetheless, please tell her we say hello and hopefully we will be able to touch base at another point in time".
I am so careful to beat around the bush with this woman, as to not come across rude. But I think I may be a bit more blunt, so that she can't claim "confusion" later down the road.
I love that idea VirginiaMarie! It's a classy response, but it leaves absolutely no room for doubt! Great idea!
Maybe your FI should send that email (re: daughter) if you do decide to send it.
@jordyn... but she already told the mom all wedding stuff was to go through her, not FI.
I like the email and I think you should go for it at some point!
You must log in to post.
| Visit our sister sites | eHarmony Online Dating |
eHarmony Advice Dating Advice |
Project Wedding Wedding Songs |
JustMommies Pregnancy Calendar |
Create the honeymoon of your dreams.
Sorry, there are no users yet.
Sorry, there are no users yet.
