Post # 1
bridesmaids say that the guests coming to my destination bach trip should all buy me cute gifts (sash, veil, garter, etc) to wear at the party. i am hesitant b/c girls are already spending so much on tickets, hotels for the trip…do you think it would be rude to ask them to bring a small gift? we will be giving them goodie bags so bridesmaid thinks it should be OK. What do you guys think?
Post # 3
I would not ask them to do that. If anything the host would have these kinds of attire decorations for you.
Post # 4
@sunrisepassion: It’s always rude to ask someone to bring a gift. If the girls want to get you something on their own that’s fine, but if they’re prompted I think it’s rude.
Post # 5
@sunrisepassion: I would not ask people to do that for any bach party, especially a destination one. To me that is for the bridesmaids to organise if they want you to wear that stuff.
Post # 6
@sunrisepassion: No…in my circle you don’t bring gifts to bachelorette’s to begin with. If it’s a destination bachelorette I would really want to discourage it.
In my opinion, if the bridesmaids think you should have things to wear for the bachelorette party, they should pitch in and provide it themselves.
Post # 7
You should probably stay out of it since you’re the bride and not organizing it. $10-30 isn’t much and I’d guess that decision can be managed by your bridesmaids and the ladies invited. It would be rude if you the bride were asking for it.
I’ve been to destination bachelorettes where guests were asked to bring a small present (could be homemade or inexpensive) for one activity for the bride while the planners paid for the bride’s accessories. I’ve been to some where guests split the costs of the bride attending or where the bridesmaids split the costs. Either way the under $30 contribution for something for the bride wasn’t begrudged by the guests. The only thing guests resented and couldn’t afford was when the overall costs were very high unnecesarily and guests felt the planners made no efforts to keep the costs (outside of the small present) in check Or didn’t give a heads up of the costs in advance.
Post # 8
I feel that the bachelorette is one of the few, if not the only, non gift giving event associated with weddings.
Post # 9
@sunrisepassion: I went to a destination Bach last summer and they asked us to bring a piece of lingerie for the bride. I thought this was ridiculous and completely unnecessary. I would not ask for people to bring gifts. They will most likely be splitting the cost for your meals and drinks too.