Post # 1
I just got married, and am a bridesmaid in my friend’s wedding later this year. She is having a destination bachelorette party in the Caribbean and I can’t afford to go, especially because her wedding is a destination wedding & I’m still paying off debt from my own wedding. Besides just leaving it to the cost, is there a way I can explain why I can’t go even though it hurts not to? No one can argue with money issues but she has been my friend for YEARS and I know by missing the bachelorette party I will be letting her down. Please help!
Post # 3
Shes gotta understand that is a lot of money that she is asking people to pay. A destination bachelorette party and a destination wedding??? I would have to be honest with her and tell her that it really hurts that you cant attend but its a lot of money!
Post # 4
Agreed. Be honest and tell her you really wish you could go, but you just can’t.
Post # 5
- Wedding: July 2012 - The Gables Inn, Santa Rosa, CA
Why do you need another excuse? Just tell her the truth– you can’t afford it. There shouldn’t be any arguments. My FI made his BM cancel his party and plan something cheaper and more local because too many people couldn’t afford the time or money to go.
Instead of looking for some other reason, just be honest with her; she’s your friend right? She’ll understand.
Post # 6
A destinatino wedding and bachelorete party?? Thats alot to ask from people and I’m surprised other people in her bridal party havnt protested to that either. It’s not just the money issue but also the time off people would have to take off to attend these functions. If she as a friend she would understasnd your reasonings as to why you cant make it to the bachelorette party..I think its a bit inconsiderate of her to expect so much from people anyways..
Post # 7
This is a TON to ask from people. I would just tell her your very sorry, but you can’t make it due to cost.
Post # 8
When you choose to have not just a destination party that international you should be prepared for this. Since she bride she must know how expensive it can be to get married. Hopefully she has a lowkey get together with friends at home. Just be honest with her.
Post # 9
Please just tell her. If she is a real friend, she will understand. Im sure she will be a bit dissapointed that you cant come, but she will value that you were honest with her.
Post # 10
If it were me I would be honest about it. But then I would offer to take her out one night so you 2 could have a little privet bachlorette party. She’ll see that you are really sorry that you can’t go and will appreciate it that you want to make it up to her. You could even offer to help her with some wedding stuff the night you go out. For my best friends bp, I was her only BM, we did some shopping for the wedding and did some DIY, then went a partied the night away. It was simple but a blast!
Post # 11
Thanks for all the advice. I think I will offer to host a mini-girls night for her in town, that’s a good suggestion! And thank you for all the support, it’s good to hear that I’m not being unreasonable / a bad bridesmaid & friend!