Post # 1
Bees I need you help!
My mother is having a fabulous destination encore wedding to a man I adore! It will be very small, just the bride and groom and their children (me, my hubby, my brother, groom’s son, his wife and groom’s other son). I’m thrilled for them to have found each other; groom had a nasty divorce and bride’s husband (my father) died 9 years ago.
Here is the issue….they want to somehow include the “children” in the ceremony. But we are all grown, the youngest is 25 and let’s be honest none of us need a step-parent. They are determined to include us somehow but the thought of having the groom say some sort of vows to me as a “father figure” grosses me out, I’m 30, I’m good on that point! I said that just having us all together on a mini-vaca was enough, mom isn’t sure. So I need advice. Any ideas?
Thanks in advance ladies!
Post # 3
Can you do readings? Individually or in groups?
Post # 4
@2gether4ever: A few ideas:
You and your brother both walk your mother down the aisle.
Your brother walks your mother down the aisle and you be bridesmaid (that’s what my mother did, except two bridesmaids because she has a son and 2 daughters).
Groom’s sons sign the register as witnesses, or share official duties at the reception, or even be groomsmen.
I agree any reference to parenting is inappropriate. My mother’s new husband is a great guy, but he’s not a father figure to me in any way.
Post # 5
@2gether4ever: Maybe a ring warming ceremony? Basically the couples wedding bands are passed to the guests (in this case their children) and each person takes a moment to hold them and say a silent prayer or wish for the bride and groom. The rings are then returned to the officiant who continues with the ceremony. The script usually goes something like this;
____bride and _____groom would like to invite those gathered here today to share their blessings for this marriage in a ring warming ceremony. As the rings are passed to you please take a moment to say a silent prayer for the couple.
When the time comes to exchange rings the officiant says something like:
“These rings, now warmed by those you love the most will forever show the world your are one and they will carry with them the eternal love and blessing of your families.”
Depending on how everyone feels about it, if your parents want everyone to take a iittle more active roll, each person could speak their prayer or wish aloud as the rings are passed.
Post # 6
My two children were our attendants for the wedding. However, they were in their late 20s at the time and had two perfectly good parents already, so we didn’t expect them to accept my wife as another parent.
Post # 7
@nikkialys: This is a really good idea!
OP you could also do a unity candle. His kids light one candle, you and your brother light another and they take the seperate flames to light one big candle. Or is that too much like becoming one big family?
Perhaps they would like you to speak during the ceromony about how happy you are that they have found each other? Just a short thing?
Post # 8
@2gether4ever: The ring warming ceremony sounds great! Simple, easy. Maybe each person can give a blessing (something like a toast).
i was a a wedding where they did North, South, East, West symbolic part. Rocks went into a bowl, each person raised the rock and gave some sort of well wishing or blessing. The directions represented something – future, past, old, new, etc. It was very “earthy” but the future was read aloud by the younges and the past was read by the oldest, etc. Not sure if they made it up or it’s really something!