(Closed) Destination frusteration

posted 5 years ago in Destination Weddings
Post # 3
Hostess
8580 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: October 2014

I haven’t been in this situation, but I think that $2500 is quite a bit for a wedding.

How many are you planning on inviting? With a wedding of this price tag, I would say only invite immediate family, and from the looks of it, it looks like your immediate family won’t be happy with the price either.

I understand that you will get a group rate, but I don’t think it’ll come donw that much.

When it comes down to it, this is the risk we take when planning a destination wedding. Sometimes, people can’t afford it. It IS expensive. Sometimes people just don’t have the money, or can’t take time off, or whatever the case may be – and we have to deal with it.

I’m sorry you are going through this, but in the event people keep fussing, perhaps you could elope, and then have a casual reception in your home town?

Post # 4
Member
2956 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: February 1998

To me that is a lot to ask and I wouldn’t be going!

Post # 5
Member
300 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: December 2013

@mrschristmas:  you can do whatever makes you and your fiancé happy, but you should be realistic about expectations of your families

Post # 8
Hostess
8580 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: October 2014

@mrschristmas:  I understand what you’re saying.

But on the other hand, alot of your guests won’t want to stay the entire week. That means they either have to take vacation time, or take time off work which means no pay. So in theory, it’s costing them $2500 + a weeks worth of work.

I understand that the hotel for a home town ceremony would cost $200 a night, but $200 + drivetime is ALOT cheaper than $2500, and I think you’d get more people opting to go.

At the end of the day, it’s your decision, and you’re going to choose whatever it is you love more, but just remember that some people probably won’t go or even have the money to go, or be willing to spend that amount to go to a destination wedding for a week.

Post # 10
Member
361 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: September 2013

My FI’s cousin is going through this right now… She has set her wedding for next February in Punta Cana, and we plan on going… but that’s about it from his side of the family.  We just looked and for 5 nights, its approximately 3000 for the two of us, adding a night put it up to almost 4,000.  Considering, we will just have gotten married and this will not be our honeymoon (which we are postponing to the summer to go to this!), we can not justify spending much over this.  The rest of the family A)simply can’t afford it and B) its not their type of vacation.

My best friend’s husband went through the same thing.  My best friend had about 15 people there, he had his dad and step-mom. They were the only ones that could afford it.  And actually, his mom decided to pay for elective surgery rather than go to the destination wedding…

So, when planning on a DW or not.. be realistic on who will go and who won’t.  And if you are truly happy that it may just be you and your FH, and maybe a few other people, go for it!  We truly had a blast in Jamaica for my best friend’s wedding, and we can’t imagine that the cousin’s wedding will be any different.. but we love traveling, and it gives us an excuse! 

Good luck!!

Post # 13
Member
3429 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: June 2013

I would figure the airfare would probably make it closer to 4000 A couple. too much for me to spend to attend a wedding but If your guests will be making a vacation it of it and staying the whole week maybe it’s not that bad. 

Post # 14
Member
300 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: December 2013

@mrschristmas:  maybe look into a bed and breakfast that you could rent for a weekend in your area. Your guests could pay for their rooms (presumably with a discount for booking several rooms or possibly the whole thing) and you could pay for the dinner and such

Post # 16
Member
6745 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: June 2014

I didn’t read all the responses, but here’s what I think – if you give people enough notice and you make it a reasonable price, then you did what you could, but you need to expect people not wanting to come to your wedding because of the cost, the time, etc. 

$2500 for all inclusive for the week plus airfare for a couple really isn’t that terrible, but you can go cheaper if you end up not at Sandals (try Punta Cana) and pick the right time to go. 

I think your FMIL is being ridiculous, but I think you should contact that travel agent first and confirm a price and rediscuss it with her with the new price. 

Also, does everyone have to go for the week?  I’m looking at doing mine on a 3-day weekend so people can go away for the 3-day weekend or they can take off and go away the whole week.  Some people are excited to have a reason to plan a vacation somewhere new and some people are freaking out about the cost, but whatever.. this is what I want for my wedding, I spent a ton going to other people’s weddings, so I’m either important enough for them to plan a vacation around my wedding or I’m not and then I don’t want them there anyway! 

You’re going to need to grow thicker skin and a bigger set of balls if you’re going to do a destination wedding, IMO – I’ve already lost a friend over picking a date that has already been changed.  Unfortunately, the damage was done and we haven’t spoken in 4 months. 

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