- 5 years ago
My fiance and I are newly engaged and very excited about the future. We are in the very early stages of planning a wedding. We are working with a small budget of our own funds, but like with many wedding plans, we’ve run into some problems already- mainly to do with logistics and deciding where/how to have a wedding.
My fiance and I live in Philadelphia. My family is pretty small and all are from the NJ area. My Fiance’s Father and step mom and rest of his family/friends live in Michigan. His mother, who is very ill and is not capable of traveling far, lives in Kentucky with his grandmother. They don’t have funds and health to travel far. Also, his father has a health condition which doesn’t allow him to fly or drive for very long distances, but his father said that he would try and get a prescription to possibly allow him to travel. My own father also has a health condition, which doesn’t allow him to fly either, but said he could drive maybe.
EIK ! this all sounds so crazy i know!
All this makes it difficult to decide whether to have a wedding in Michigan or PA. My Fiance’s has greater number of family and friends in MI, than I have in PA. Plus, I was figuring that catering services and such would possibly be much cheaper in MI plus Michigan has very nice lakes for a sunset wedding or something of that sort. It would be low cost and we would only have to fly in a few of my main family members.
But then my mother got offended that we were thinking of having a wedding in MI instead of PA- of course she would say that! We also told her that someday we might move to MI to have kids, so she got even more upset. So then I started thinking what if we have a wedding in PA (to make it fair). We would have to make it very small, like only invite 30 or 40 people to cut down the cost and keep it in budget. And we’d have to drastically cut down the MI invites since a lot less of his family would come all that way (extended members that is) and to keep the cost low. So we would loose out on most of his family being there.
So then we started thinking instead, what if just the two of us go on a destination wedding and honeymoon by ourselves. Get married in the caribbean and enjoy a week long honey moon instead. With the money we could have used on a wedding back home, we could instead have a very nice private ceremony and honeymoon for just the two of us. No hassle and stress of planning and it would be fair to both sides. And afterwards we could have a small family dinner in PA, and another small family dinner in MI.
But then I started thinking about what it would be like to get married without my family and friends to share in the joy of the special day. But then my fiance’s father mentioned something pretty important, he stated how its not right for the two families to not even meet eachother. He’s right i think.
Bottom line, we have a small budget and need to figure out how best to use it for our wedding. We can’t have two weddings in two separate places and we can’t have a wedding in the middle of both places. That’s even more waste of money. That would mean both sides of our families would have to shell out dough to travel and attend if we did it in the middle of the two state. So it’s more cost effective to have it either in MI or PA. But which one?
We are 27 and 29, both have good jobs and educated, but still can’t afford the average cost of what weddings cost these days (around $30k). We are paying for the wedding ourselves (no family input), my fiance recently just started graduate school so that’s draining on funds (i already finished mine), and we are trying to save for a house someday. We want to keep our budget to no more than 5k.
Have other bees done the destination wedding for 2? did you regret it?
How do you have a wedding on such a small budget?
How do we decide wether to have it in PA or MI?