(Closed) Destination or Intimate Wedding

posted 5 years ago in Destination Weddings
Post # 3
Member
143 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: August 2013

I’m usually lazy and don’t read things out but I read yours because you reminded me of myself. I know EXACTLY what you’re talking about. It’s frustrating because I felt like no matter what I did, I lost. If I do it over here, then this happens. If I do it over there, this happens. Lose, lose! It even got bad enough that I started getting into really depressing things like “why don’t I get along better with my mom”? or “I wish I had more friends to help me.” Finally, I felt that something bad had happened. I forgot what the wedding was about. It wasn’t about me and him anymore, or the relationship we had. It turned into something about money, family drama, making good impressions etc. and that’s not what it was supposed to be about. So finally, i gave up on the whole thing and decided to elope/destination wedding. If people can come, good. If they can’t, too bad. I know your situation is a little different though, and it’s true, your families should meet. Hmm. Honestly, I’m stuck too. Reading your post made me a little dizzy lol. I’d say have a get-together after you elope, but for that, you may as well just marry while they’re together too. Maybe you can elope and have a ceremony, but have a little gathering somewhere and have an officiant to make it legal in front of everyone? That’d be cheap, and you’d get to spend all your dough on your elopement. I don’t have much else to tell you because I didn’t have a way to solve my own problem either. As I said before, I gave up and I’m eloping. It’s not fair for people who aren’t paying for it to get mad or resentful, and if a group is going to be unhappy regardless of what you do, I think you should just focus on making the occassion happy for both of you.

Post # 4
Member
951 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: June 2013

I think elopement is awesome. In fact, my family and FI’s family would be 100% supportive if we eloped, especially since most would have to travel if they wanted to attend our wedding celebration. We are still doing a private ceremony with no guests and having a reception, but on a budget.

Here is what we would have done if we’d just done the private ceremony with no reception:

An extravagant private ceremony (we are doing a heli-wedding ceremony) with a photographer and  possibly videographer (or a close friend or relative with some creative ability to come along and take video and be a second witness). That way after we got back from the honeymoon we could create a wedding DVD with slideshow and video to mail out to our close friends and relatives!

This works great if you have some cash to spend but not enough to fund a wedding. All of that costs approx $5k.

Good luck with your plans!

Post # 5
Member
6124 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: August 2012

@Blissfu1:  Oh yes, I have been there! 

 

I had a DW planned for 75 guests.  We cancelled it 4 months prior because my father was terminally ill and he passed away eventually (which would have been 1.5 months prior to the wedding).

We ended up eloping to Canada last month.  Our witnesses were H’s parents as they were the only ones that said they could travel within our immediate family (we had aimed to just have immediate family after the cancellation, but it was too hard to get people to fly to us).

We had a LOVELY and AMAZING day – it was all about us.  Not a stress in the world, just the regular butterflies as you’re getting ready for your wedding day!  We even hiked on our wedding day.

 

We have a grand plan to visit all those would-be wedding guests individually in their states – Colorado, Washington, Massachusettes, Vermont, Arizona, Oregon, Indiana.  We’d just stay at their homes (either they’ve offered, or we have stayed there before).

That’s about 7 different cities we plan to fly to if you include the 2 towns our families are from.  We just knocked one off the list (Denver) last weekend!  We picked up a bottle of champagne after we landed and celebrated two on two with the other couple and went out to dinner.  It was so nice to hang out with them and to talk like that for 3 days – never could that happen at a wedding!

 

Post # 7
Member
866 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: June 2015

What a difficult situation! I think you should elope and have a private ceremony for the two of you if that is what you want, and don’t think you’d regret not having your friends and family by your side. It sounds like if you were to plan a larger wedding, you’d be upsetting somebody no matter where you chose to have it, and that could detract from the occassion, whereas if you just eloped with your fiance, you two could have a meaningful ceremony focused on your future together, not who got left out. Maybe when you get back you could have two smallish receptions (or even just a nice party in someone’s home, if you are concerned about cost) for each family, and invite both families to both events, so whoever could travel would have an opportunity to meet the other side of the family? It doesn’t sound like you an win when so many people want to be a part of your wedding day, but can’t travel to do it; I think that you are heading in the right direction by thinking outside the box! Surely there’s a way that you can have a beautiful and meaningful ceremony and still have a way to make sure both families feel equally involved in celebrating your marriage. Good luck! 

Post # 9
Member
6124 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: August 2012

@Blissfu1:  Yay!  Happy Planning!  If your family seemed like they genuinely wanted to be there, perhaps you can hire a videographer to make a wedding video (a good one, not cheesy one!) or even stream it live over the internet for family to watch.  That is if you feel they really wanted to be part of it but are fine with your private wedding idea. 

I don’t have a full wedding to compare it to, but keeping it so simple and romantic is just so sweet.

Post # 10
Member
951 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: June 2013

@sienna76:  Yep, sure am! Any experience?

Post # 11
Member
670 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: October 2014

Destination wedding!  You can plan it how you want it and make it about you and your FI!  Save money and enjoy!

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