Post # 1
Alright bees, so FI and I have 2 wedding options that we both like:
1. a backyard wedding at a friend’s house (with amazing scenery) where FI’s whole big family could attend…which I always thought would be a fun, casual wedding
2. a destination wedding in the mountains where only our close friends and fam would come
At first I thought FI’s parents would want the whole fam to be able to come (even though I don’t know half of them) so we were planning on option 1 (even though I’ve kind of always wanted a destination wedding).
But, low and behold, his parents were all for a destination wedding (plus simple reception at home later for the fam) and now we are leaning towards that.
In the end I think the costs will be about the same since option 1 would require more food, decorations, favors, etc while the destination wouldn’t need any of that but the flights/rooms would cost (but we wouldn’t get presents if we did it that way).
Which would you do? Which should I do? If you’ve had a destination or backyard wedding please share your experiences!
Post # 3
Couldn’t you do both? The destination wedding in the mountains and then the simple reception for the family in the backyard?
Post # 4
We are getting married on the beach in Georgia and then having a reception at a hall at home. It won’t be a full, catered reception; it will be more casual, desserts and finger foods, definitely music and celebrating with those who couldn’t make it to Tybee Island. More than anything, I want to marry him with my toes in the sand and the waves behind us…
Post # 5
Both are great options – I just want to warn you that a backyard wedding can get crazy FAST. I work with a girl who is planning one right now (I’m having a Grand Cayman destination wedding June 22, she’s having backyard Sept 7 so we’ve been doing this together!) and her rental estimates ALONE came back at – ready? – $56k. Yup.
Obviously you can do it for less – she’s doing the big tent, renting all the tables, chairs, flatware, plates, etc. She got it down to about $23k (and could have cut more probably, but I’ve seen the estimate and there isn’t a lot of fluff). And we’re in NYC (her wedding is upstate) and I know it’s an expensive area. Just wanted to throw it out there. If you’re okay with a causal BBQ style wedding, it’s a different ballgame.
Post # 6
Im having a backyard wedding and it will be under 5000.00, I plan on having about 52 guests, I am 52 and its my second wedding. I plan on spending about 2500 for food, 1000 for tents/chairs, 500 for band, 350 for officiant and I want a cake and the rest for decorations, my man will pay for the rest!
Post # 7
@LittleMsPumpernickel: Hi there! I see that you’re another mountain girl!
Frankly, I had to have my wedding IN the mountains. Like looking at mountains – Pa-POW! On the flip side, we did not have much interest from family and they were in different states, so going to them was not an option in my mind. Plus which state (they were two time zones apart!). Yes, I picked scenery over family. If they were all thrilled and wanted to be there obviously that’s a different story.
So I’d vote 2 – DW in the mountains with only nearest and dearest and call it good! No need to made it a whole family reunion ordeal – intimate weddings are perfectly acceptable!
Here is our mountain wedding:http://www.sarahkhalladphotography.ca/2012/12/26/shannon-erik-married-emerald-lake-wedding-photographer/
Post # 8
I think both are lovely options. What do you and your fi really want?
For me & fi, it wans’t even a question. We wanted all of our friends & family there.
Post # 9
@sienna76: Omg beautiful scenery!!! We’ll be living in CO by the time the wedding comes so it’d just be our closest friends & immediate family traveling from Louisiana. I just want an amazing view and amazing pictures!
@jenilynevette: We really want a destination wedding in the mountains in the snow! I have always been in love with winter scenery and have always wanted an intimate wedding. I have a total of like 15 people in my family and always thought a small wedding would be perfect, but of course my FI has a huge family (where it is impossible to know/be close to everyone). So I think we’ll just have a celebration back home with the rest of his family and anyone who can’t make it.
Plus I want a ski vacation as our honeymoon!
Post # 10
We are getting married on the beach , We wanted all of our friends & family there.
Post # 11
with the backyrd wedding you will have the option of setting up at your leisure ( i assume) and leaving items there until the day or until you are able t pick them up. Ect.
on the other hand…
the destinaton would be great for anniversaries to come
Personally I like the backyard – am biased because that is what we are doing – but I am happy to have an area/place that we can pretty much do whatever we want
Post # 12
Sounds like you really want the intimate snowy mountain wedding and would do the celebration party out of obligation or duty?
Post # 13
I’d go for the DW (maybe stay a bit longer than the guests and turn it into a honeymoon as well?), then do the backyard reception when you get back.
Post # 14
@little_d: Yes, exactly! We’ll definitely stay for the honeymoon
@sienna76: Yes, we have to have some type of celebration for all the family that can’t come to CO. We are from south Louisiana…family is a BIG deal here haha
Post # 15
We are doing a backyard extravaganza, in our own backyard for less than 10,000 for about 300 people… which includes the tent, tables, decor, food, booze, dj, cupcakes, etc. We are also doing golf carts to shuttle people around (parking is a little far and there is a hill), a party bus for the bridal party for about an hour and a half, a bounce house for the children, and a bunch more fun stuff! I’m super excited, it is at our for-ever home, where he proposed and where we will eventually have our children! 🙂
On the other hand, we went to Jamaica for my best friend’s wedding a few years ago, and it was WONDERFUL!! We still talk about it fondly today. She was a very laid back bride, and it suit her perfectly. THe only downfall was there were not many from his side of the family that could make it.. as in only his dad and step-mom (both were awesome!).
So, there are pro’s and con’s to both. Do what fits you and FI. Good luck!!
Post # 16
Thanks bees! We’ve decided on a destination wedding with only our bridal party and closest family.