destination vs reception drama

posted 3 years ago in Weddingbee
Post # 3
Member
145 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: January 2014

@cubanita1:  I think it comes down to how important it is for his family members to be present at the wedding. I know it’s super touchy subject and who doesn’t want their family with them on their big day? But, they aren’t paying for your wedding. They aren’t the ones who will be putting themselves into debt just so you can have a local wedding that’ll make it easier on them. Also, when is your wedding? I only ask, to gauge how much time his family has to actually try and save. If you are giving them ample time and if it is that important for them to be there, I don’t see why it wouldn’t be doable for them to save for it. Especially taking into consideration that they enjoy hosting numerous lavish parties.

Post # 5
Member
145 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: January 2014

@cubanita1:  When will the wedding be? So, you guys are giving them options to make it easier on them financially. Why are they not receptive to this idea? They’re brothers right? Why not share a cabin so you can see your sibling get married?

Post # 7
Member
145 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: January 2014

@cubanita1:  Yikes. That really is so unfair to you guys. I know money can be hard to come by for some people, but they have more than half a year to plan this out. Also, they’re obviously not having financial difficulties if they are having lavish parties. I just don’t understand why they aren’t willing to make any compromises to be there for you guys. Have you guys considered pushing the date farther back at all to give them more time to save? Would that even make a difference in their decision whether or not to go?

Post # 8
Member
7397 posts
Busy Beekeeper

@cubanita1:  I say that your FI needs to call a family meeting and you and he need to talk to them. You need to say exactly what you said here. That you want family there but that you don;t think starting married life off in debt for a wedding is a wise decision.

Have you thought about having an intimate wedding at home? Just immediate family (parents, grandparents, siblings with SO’s and nieces/nephews) and your bff’s/extremely close friends? That should surely be well under 100 people right? More like 50 at most. Because that way it would be more like your destination wedding because numbers at a DW are usually pretty low.

Post # 9
Member
808 posts
Busy bee

@cubanita1:  Whatever you do, don’t get yourself into debt that you don’t want to be in, to have the wedding someone else wants you to have, that you don’t even want! They sound like they’re being quite uncompromising so have the wedding for you, not them.

Post # 11
Member
145 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: January 2014

@cubanita1:  ah, ok got it. I agree with the PP that a family meeting needs to be called AND that in now way should you guys go into debt. If they truly cant afford it and you guys truly want them to be there, than you all need to find a happy medium. Maybe doing a smaller wedding locally within your budget can work?

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