Post # 1
Ok….So first off I’m still “waiting”. Just an FYI 🙂
I am just one of those people who wants to get things done as soon as possible. I’m kind of in the wedding planning mood becuase I am trying to figure out how much money we are going to need for the wedding.
My family is not going to be paying for the wedding. My dad lost his job and then threw away the large amount of money he had. Long story. My mom isn’t poor by any means, and I’m sure that she will help out with a few things here or there, but she won’t be financing the whole thing.
The SO and I will probably save some for the wedding but I’d much rather save for a house instead.
My future in-laws (probably an acronym for this that I don’t know) do have quite a bit of money. I would not be surprised if they help pay for the wedding or pay for a large portion of it. We haven’t brought it up with them yet but that’s the kind of people that they are.
With that being said…. I’m not sure what type of wedding I’d like to have. If I had it my way I’d have a destination wedding with a small handful of friends and family. Probably no more than 30 people (at most). I know that the future in-laws are ok with this idea, as they love to travel and have done so quite a bit. It’s my family that I don’t think would be so happy.
I’d want to go to one of the all inclusive resorts in Mexico or the Caribbean where I could have my wedding and stay for my honeymoon.
This poses a few problems for my family. One none of my family has passports as they don’t travel over seas, and I’m not sure they would want to get one. Two I think it’d be out of the budget for my family. My mom could probably budget for it but she wouldn’t like it. My extended family probably wouldn’t come and I’d have to pay for my dad. I most am just concerned that my aunt and grandma are there (of the extended family) because I am close to them.
I can’t decide what to do…. I decided that maybe we should scrap the whole destination wedding idea, but I really don’t know if I should.
If I have a wedding here in my hometown (where me and SO live now) it would be pretty small as well, but I really can’t decide on a venue either. Maybe if you all can help talk me through whether or not to have a Destination Wedding then I can have another post about venues haha!
Sorry this is long!!!
Post # 4
you still planning on late 2011? i say sleep on it a little longer. But if you want to do the Destination Wedding route, i say go for it 😉 I am biased.
Post # 5
i say a destination wedding and then when you come home a dinner/party for those that couldnt make it
which is basically what we did but we eloped and had a party a few months later
Post # 6
hmmm hard to say, since some family members close to you seem to have good reasons to not be able to afford it…
My family was not warm on the idea, but had no GOOD reason not to come, so we went ahead with the Destination Wedding. The ones important to us are coming even if they would have preferred it close to home. It’s your wedding, not theirs.. but if they have good reasons not to be able, I would probably think about doing something small close to home, and leaving on the same night for honeymoon.
Post # 7
If the passports are an issue, you can look into places where it won’t be required – Hawaii, the Florida Keys, resort areas on the mainland US.
Do both your your family and his live in the same town as you? If your family lives somewhere else, you could do a destination wedding and then have a family party where they live to celebrate. If everyone lives in the same area, it could be kind of hard on people to feel like they can’t afford to celebrate with you, but if they’re traveling either way, then a domestic destination wedding might work well.
I’m a big believer in doing what you want to do, but the issue with a Destination Wedding is that it can cause guests to have to pay a bigger portion. You can try to help out there – subsidize lodging, make sure they don’t feel obligated to give gifts, but how much that matters depends on the financial situation. Doing things your way over your family’s is one thing, but you don’t want your family to feel excluded from the wedding entirely.
Post # 8
Thanks for the advice everyone.
Entangled, you’re right. I don’t want to feel like I’m excluding people from my wedding who I ultimately want to be there.
My entire family lives the same place we do, as do almost all of our friends. The people who will have to travel regardless are his family. they don’t really care where they travel to, but they aren’t the issue.
I think I really do need to have my wedding here in my hometown. Now to figure out a venue for that. Blech.
Post # 9
You’ll find something! I’m jealous that you get to look somewhere that’s not 3,000 miles away. My partner and I are on the west coast, but both our families are back east so we’re going to do it there. BUT probably a good 2+ hours from where our families actually live because that area is very expensive and doesn’t have the sort of venues we’re looking for. If you do go with something local, do remember that it’ll make things so much nicer to be able to drive and see venues on weekends and days off rather than waiting until your next vacation, spending half of it driving to look at places. 🙂