Destination Wedding Bees – Are you expecting gifts from your guests?

posted 3 years ago in Destination Weddings
Post # 2
Member
1769 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: July 2014

Are you talking about guests bringing boxed gifts with them, buying gifts off registry and having them shipped to your home, or giving you cash/check gifts?

Post # 3
Member
123 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: May 2015

Having just come back from a DW, I would say that you should probably not expect a gift except from older relatives perhaps. I spent $500 on tickets (each) for me +FI, $100+ on my BM dress, $600+ on the resort. However, you don’t need to spell it out on the invitation. Any reference to gifts is considered poor etiquette.

Post # 5
Member
588 posts
Busy bee

amore28:  I don’t think gifts are typical for destination weddings. If someone has paid $1000+ for flights/hotel, I wouldn’t expect a gift on top of that. The one Carribean wedding I went to, we didn’t bring or buy a gift for the wedding, but the bride and groom didn’t expect gifts.

Post # 6
Member
118 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: May 2015 - Jellyfish, Punta Cana DR

No, we aren’t expecting any gifts. Their attendance is gift enough.

Post # 7
Member
18 posts
Newbee
  • Wedding: March 2013

When I was planning my wedding this is what I thought : normally would I or other people normally give a $1,000 gift or even a $500 gift to someone whose getting married? The answer I came up with was probably no. So when I had family or friends flying in from out of the country (we had people fly in from Asia and Europe) than right off the bat they were already spending 1k just on airfare alone. So I made a point to let them know that their prescense was their gift. 

Post # 8
Member
2830 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: September 2013

I didn’t expect gifts and said so on the wedding website. However, because it was a DW, I expected a good number of declines and some people who declined asked about gift. So I did make a honeymoon registry (not for tickets or hotel, but for extras like cocktails and picnics and whatnot). I received maybe 3 or 4 gifts from that. Then, 2 couples who live in my DW location brought checks, which I found appropriate since they didn’t have to travel. However, I did have multiple people (about 9) who live in my DW location not bring gifts and while I wasn’t expecting them, I did kinda wonder if they were raised in a barn.

Post # 9
Member
2565 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: October 2014

I am absolutely not expecting gifts.  We did not register for anything because I did not think it was appropriate to get married somewhere people have to fly to and rent accomodations and then be all “oh hey, buy us these presents!”.  I also put “no gifts” on the website.

Post # 10
Member
1769 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: July 2014

Since you’re talking about cash/checks, it depends.  For a DW somewhere exotic/expensive or an all-inclusive, I’d guess fewer guests would give anything.  Often in those situations, the bride/groom pay a bit less and the guests pay a bit more to attend.

But for a domestic destination wedding, guests giving cash/checks is much more likely.  Especially if most of the guests would’ve had to travel to most potential wedding locations anyway (like where the couple lives, bride’s home state, or groom’s home state).  For domestic destination weddings, the bride/groom often pay just as much for the wedding and the guests don’t usually have to pay more than they would for any out-of-town wedding they attended.  

When we’ve gone to these types of domestic destination weddings (where it’s not all-inclusive and the bride/groom have provided discounted & inexpensive hotel blocks etc.), we have always given the same amount as we do for local weddings.

If I were you, I wouldn’t write anything about gifts on the website or in invitation materials (we aren’t)- just let it be.  We’re doing a domestic destination wedding and needed to register b/c ppl wanted us to and someone’s throwing me a shower.  Guests can choose to only grace us with their presence or send boxed gifts or other kinds of gifts, but that choice is up to them.

Post # 11
Member
54 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: July 2015

I am not expecting gifts but am setting up a registry, basically for older family members who either won’t be attending or who I know will want me to buy a gift anyway because they are traditional like that.  Also, they usually throw showers at work and even though I don’t want anyone to feel obligated to give me one, they will, and I’d rather get things I want then things I don’t, haha.  I don’t think you need to specify though.  I find even at domestic weddings gifts are becoming less of a requirement with the tough economy.  Your guests will ultimately do what makes them most comfortable.

Post # 12
Member
58 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: February 2015

I’ve seen a lot of “Your presence is our present” statements on websites and then usually they are followed by: but for those of you have insistented on some ideas, we’ve picked out a few things at the below stores – with a link to the registry. Which seems ok to me, if a lot of people aren’t coming because it’s a DW they may want to send you a gift anyway and like PP’s said, older people tend to be a bit more traditional in this respect. 

Post # 13
Member
657 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: May 2013

I would just not mention it, my sister had a DW and we still gave her a gift. Almost everyone still gave her cash as a gift.

Post # 14
Member
5288 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: April 2013

I had a destination wedding in Cuba and most guests did not give a gift. I was extremely surprised for those that did though! We did not expect any gifts because of the money they all had to pay to come to our wedding

Post # 15
Member
55 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: February 2015

We decided not to ask for gifts, because it will cost people so much time and money to come to the wedding.  We live together already, though, so there is nothing we really need to set up our household.  I have definitely seen people who are having destination weddings still decide to register, though, so I think it is up to you.  If you do register, make sure that there are inexpensive items to choose from for those who can’t afford much after their travel expenses.

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