Post # 1
Me and my fiancé decided to have a destination wedding in key west, fl. We planned on inviting our parents and siblings. The problem is, how to I not hurt the rest of the families feelings? It’s not that I don’t WANT them to come.. But it’s always an issue having my moms family around my dads family. They dont mix well. And I feel like we couldn’t all enjoy it as one big family, they stay separated from each other and then I get stressed keeping everybody happy. I don’t think most of my family would care too much, but my grandma probably will. How would you handle this situation?
Post # 3
I’m reluctant to suggest anything, because what I would do is probably not a good idea for family relations. I hope you find a good solution.
Post # 4
Ask your parents what they think. Afterall, they know their families best. It’s your wedding, you should have the people there that you want. But I understand worrying about everyone getting along, simply because it’s a destination wedding, its not just an evening at a reception. Hopefully your family can guide you in the right direction.
Post # 5
I would invite the grandparents (all of them), and tell everyone else you will be having an incredibly intimate wedding with just your closest family!
I sent a letter to our extended families saying that we were having an EXTREMELY small wedding with only parents/siblings/grandparents/godparents/close friends! And only ONE of the EIGHTY family members we didn’t invite had a problem!
Post # 6
We are having a DW and only inviting some people from our families. We narrowed down the guest list to any family member that had the word “parent” in it, children and siblings. Then we each invited our absolute closest friends.
We are inviting 2 out of my mom’s 7 siblings. They are both my god parents.
The reason I’m not worried about hurting feelings is because no one else is paying. When you host an event, you get a say on the guest list. Since we can’t charge people at the door (hehehe) then we have to use our best descretion. You can simply tell people you are keeping it intimate to include only immediate family.
I’m learning in all this wedding stuff that you can’t cater to expectations. You have to worry about you and FI. Others will adjust. You aren’t kicking them in the face…ya know?
It took me a few weeks to get used to this idea by the way…so give yourself time. Can you do a party after to include others?
Post # 7
I’m so glad you posted this question! I have been having some similar concerns. Some people I know would just invite everyone and not worry about it, but that’s for people whose guests are mature enough to handle themselves and put their differences aside for the occasion, which is a hard gander to wager sometimes.
Perhaps you can have a small destination wedding/honeymoon/elopement (only you two, your officiant, and a witness or two if you need them, perhaps a few close people only if you want), then have several get-togethers afterward, to save yourself any drama or stress. I had read that several couples did that on intimateweddings.com, and they ended up making a road trip out of it! I hope that helps 🙂
Post # 8
Thank you everyone for being so helpful! The grandparents are my major concern because they don’t get along, so Ill just have to talk to my parents about it and see what they think. I would love to invite all of my family.. I just think there would drama.
Post # 9
First of all, I LOVE KEY WEST!! So excited for you!
Don’t worry about not inviting people. I know, easier said than done for sure. Hopefully you have the support of your parents when it comes to not inviting them, that will make it easier. I am only inviting certain people- people that I actually see on a regular basis and who are involved in our lives. That means I’m inviting SOME aunts/uncles/cousings etc but not all. It is what it is – i know someone is going to be mad, but I would like to enjoy our day rather than making sure everyone else is happy
Post # 10
I’;m having a destination wedding this April. We invited only close family and friends. No extended family at all and we didnt care if people were hurt or not since it was our wedding and we wanted it a certain way. Since we have to pay for our guests to attend our reception down there we also had to make it feesable for us to be able to pay for it and an itmimate wedding would not be a wedding where we had invited 300 people