Post # 1
We are having a semi-destination wedding, in the sense that the closest guests will be about 90 minutes drive from our reception. The rest will be coming from out of town. We’re billing the reception as a kind of “weekend” away for guests and encouraging people to come up on Saturday and/or stay through to Monday (this will be over a holiday weekend).
The thing is, we’re really only budgeting to have one event–a morning reception brunch. We are suggesting some group activities for people who come in a day early or stay a day late, like hiking and stuff, but nothing else that we really have to *pay* for. But everyone else I know is hosting several wedding events outside of their actual wedding reception–rehearsal dinners, morning-after brunches, softball games, BBQs, after-parties…Right now, it’s not really within our budget, but we were concerned that we’re not providing enough for guests who are travelling.
Would you be offended/disappointed if you travelled to go to a wedding and there was only one sponsored event? Should we spring for a casual picnic or something the night before or do you think it’d be okay to suggest everyone hang out at a local joint together (meaning, it’s certainly not mandatory, but implying that everyone who opts to come is responsible for paying their own way).
Post # 3
were doing the same thing… come stay for the weekend etc… on our website i included stuff to do on long island and suggest they explore allbit has to offer but as of now we are only hosting a rd for our wedding party…and the wedding… i dont think there is anything wrong with it just point them in the right direction to occupy themselves… if they dont want to make it a long weekend they wont…
Post # 4
I don’t think you need to pay for another event, but i do think it would be nice if you set up some other events, such as a no-host welcome night at the local bar you were talking about, or a “bring your own lunch picnic.” This way you are still providing your guests with a sort of “plan of events” and lots of things to do and lots of time to see you, but you don’t have to pay for it.
Post # 5
i just went to my cousin’s wedding last weekend – both sides of the family came in from out of town for it so it wasn’t technically a destination wedding. instead of planning & paying for extra events, they sent out an email saying which bar they were going to after the rehearsal dinner (and they picked one within walking distance of the hotel most of us stayed at). I thought that was enough – it gave us more of an opportunity to all have fun together & didn’t put more strain on the couple.
Post # 6
I think that some people may prefer for there to only be one scheduled event. Some people get overwhelmed when a lot of events are planned for a wedding weekend, because they would rather not make a weekend out of the whole thing and would instead prefer to travel for that one day. Or, sometimes guests may prefer to do something different in the location than what was planned by the hosts. I think it is fine to just do the one event, but also do not be offended if people do not want to turn the trip into a vacation and only come for the one day.
All but 4 of my wedding guests are from out of town, and I am planning no events but my wedding. I’m sure that some of my guests will want to be tourists in DC on their own, and others are busy and will just come down for the night and won’t stay for extra time.
Post # 7
I don’t want to be a party pooper, but I would be annoyed to be honest. Every other destination wedding that I went to had lots of different events.
Post # 8
Guests don’t want to be planned to death (in large part). I am doing a destination wedding and we’re only having one morning after brunch (and we’re informally letting people know that the wedding party is hitting the hotel bar post rehearsal-dinner — meaning you’re paying for yourself if you drop by).
I think that if you (a) do out of town bags that include things to do in the area (usually gotten for free from the local tourism/merchants associations) and (b) make it 100% clear on your wedding website what the weekend’s events are so that no one is surprised — you (and I) are in the clear.
If anyone is upset, too bad for them and their random feelings of entitlement. It’s my and FI’s wedding.
Post # 9
I recomend, coacktail the day before, or lunch. I am having a beach wedding, my parents have a house by the beach, with pool, so the day before we aré throwing a lunch polo party. For the wedding day, our ceremony will be @ 5pm in a church clones to the reception. Legal wedding, with a judge and guests,by the beach @7pm, just feet away from the reception. Coaktail with mariachi @8 at the reception, before the party starts. Reception at a beach club from 9pm to 2Am. Next day, (sunday) late lunch, for guest that aré going back to their home inthe afternoon.
Post # 10
@iRun2004 – I’m loving the “random feelings of enetitlement” phrase… what is it about wedding guests feeling they are “owed” certain things, whether it’s an open bar, permission to invite complete strangers or the right to walk away with the centerpieces, for heaven’s sake?
@JennyW1 – As long as you are clear about what is and isn’t a hosted event, you’ll be fine. That’s all the information your invited guests need to make an informed decision on whether to come for the weekend, the day or not at all. And if they choose not to come because you’re not treating them to an all-inclusive vacation, well then, who wants them around anyway?
We are also having a semi-destination wedding (in the Florida Keys – most of our guest live within a 2-3 hour drive). The wedding is Friday evening and we are hosting a casual beach dinner on Saturday for anyone staying over until Sunday. (We are calling it a “recovery dinner” instead of a “rehearsal dinner,” and I’m not sure if we’re going to host a true RH on Thursday night or let early arrivers fend for themselves.) A good friend has offered to host a Bloody Mary breakfast on the beach Sunday morning as her wedding gift to us. All other events and activities are optional. We have included plenty of local information and recommendations on our website.
We did arrange to charter a catamaran for a sunset cruise on Saturday, but have made it clear to guests that the cruise is optional at $30 per person. Our website includes information on how to book the cruise directly, and I’ve arranged with the cruise company that I will pay any remaining balance (which I don’t expect to have) one week before the event.
Do what you can afford, and don’t worry sbout expectations. You wll never live up to them all, nor should you even try!