Post # 1
To add even more complication to the ‘no kids’ issue, I’d like some advice on the topic of no kids at a destination weekend wedding. We are planning a wedding about 3.5 hours away from our home city, so many of my friends and family will be making a weekend of it. My fiance’s family is from the opposite coast, so they will definitely be making a mini vacation of the event. Many of our guest have young children, and we are planning to have activities leading up to the wedding ceremony/reception that are inclusive of children (ie: Rehearsal BBQ, arrival night reception, day after brunch). However, our reception will be somewhat formal, and in order to keep costs down and the mood more “adult”, we would like to ask that children not be present at the reception specifically. Is this acceptable? If we know entire families will be coming for the wedding weekend is it rude to ask that kids not come to the actual reception? If it is acceptable, how do we address the topic? Are we expected to pay for a babysitters/nannies? The resort we are having the wedding at also has a “kids camp” that happens to be timed exactly for the hours of the reception. Would we pay for all the kids to go to that, or simply inform our guest of all their options: A list of local babysitters or nannies, or information on the resort kids camp. Thanks for you help!!
Post # 3
Offering to pay for a sitter or the camp, would be generous, but perhaps not necessary. I think it’s great that there is an option for the guests. So I would definitely provided them with the information. How many families are you talking? You might want to follow up with them, if there aren’t too many.
You could word your invitations as adult (only) reception. But if you are including inserts for the other activities, just list those as family friendly events.
Post # 4
I’m bringing my kids ( 5 and 3 ) to our DW. They will be at the wedding but for the reception they will be with a sitter. It’s not that is it formal I just dont want to chase kids all evening. I have several options really. You can go the camp way but mind you most have an age requirement. You can see if your venue has an extra room that you can use for the kids maybe. You can than if you can afford it hire sitters just for the reception. If they want a local sitter they can go thru Sittercity.com and find one themselves. You should let them know asap what you decide so they can make arrangements now.
Post # 5
- Wedding: March 2010 - Ritz-Carlton, Half Moon Bay
we are having kids at some of the events, but not at the actual reception. however, i know that the people with young children have family members or other for the children. if you are asking people to come for a full destination wedding, if you can, i would offer to host the resort kids camp. if it’s too out of your budget, definitely let your guests know of the options.
Post # 6
My concern would be that it is going to be difficult for parents to make sure that their kids are fed if they are not allowed at the reception with them. How many kids are we talking and what ages? If the reception is after a long day of events the kids might be whiny and cranky. Not ideal for a babysitter.
Post # 7
This is a tough one. If you’re asking people to travel with kids for the whole weekend and then telling them the kids can’t come to the reception, I think the best thing to do would be to offer to pay for a sitter/the kids camp or something along those lines. Or like other people have said, give them plenty of time to figure out an alternative and definitely give them options. I think it would be really hard to find childcare in a city you’re not familiar with. For some people, it might be easier just to leave the kids at home for the weekend, but they will probably need to know in advance to make those arrangements.
Post # 8
Hi everyone. I am new to the board (though I have been lurking for few weeks!). I am having a similar issue – my fiance’s family will be traveling from the midwest to our wedding in upstate ny. TThey also plan to make it a mini vacation (~week) and I don’t think it will be possible for them to leave kids at home. However, this would mean there are around 15-20 kids from <1 to 13 years at the reception. It seems like it would be chaotic and I’m sure kids would have more fun doing something else.
Our wedding will take place approximately 40 minutes from my mom’s house, so I imagine guests will be staying at a hotel near the reception. Would it be better to hire some babysitters to watch kids at the hotel or to stay with them at our house? There is also a small brides room at the location that I considered putting a tv/video games in for the kids, but I would really prefer an adults only reception. To complicate matters a bit further, I think that my future in-laws assume that kids will be welcome at the event.
Post # 9
i definitely would have them closer to their parents in case they act up with the sitter, the brides room would be perfect…
Post # 10
I think it would be nice for you to pay for the childcare if people are coming from out of town for the weekend.
Post # 11
That’s tough. If kids aren’t invited to the reception but they are to everything else, it doesn’t really make sense to invite them to anything. You will confuse/upset parents by not being consistent.
Post # 12
This may be totally pointless to bring up now but depending on the ages of the kids involved parents might not feel comfortable leaving children with an unknown babysitter. I play babysitter to most of my friends kids and I know they are not at all comfortable leaving their kids with people they don’t know, a lot of the time if I’m not available or another friend isn’t around then they don’t go (but this is LA and everyone tends to be a bit more cautious). Most of the kids range between the ages of 7 1/2 and 10 months old. Just be prepared to have some parents that may not be ok with the idea of someone they don’t know. I’m the oldest of 6 and my mum used to make sure to use hotels who had trained and certified babysitters on site so maybe if your hotel has that option it might be useful to let the parents know. The other thing to keep in mind is if someone has older kids who don’t fall into the ranges of being able to attend they could “assist” with younger ones and sometimes this helps the younger kids feel more comfortable. Also some hotels have kids programs and activities run by the same people who do babysitting, that way the parents and kids could spend an hour or so getting to know the babysitters and it might be more comfortable for everyone especially if there are little kids involved.