Post # 1
Hi Bee’s! I’m a new bee and this is my first post. I’m not engaged yet (hopefully soon!!!) but my boyfriend and I have been talking about locations for our future wedding. We both have HUGE families and have pretty much decided that a destination wedding would be best for us since we will be paying for the wedding ourselves. Our parents want to pitch in but we are both in our 30’s and feel that the ship has sailed with expecting our parents to pay for us. My question is for bee’s that had destination weddings. Did you feel like you missed out on the typical traditions for your wedding? Do you wish you would have had your wedding at home after your destination experience? I’m so torn because I want it all LOL! I want (wish) we could afford to have it here but our families would all come as would our friends and that would make our guest list around 300! We were thinking of Panama because he is from there but I’m just so torn! Thanks so much bee’s! 🙂
Post # 2
- Wedding: September 2014 - Villa Celeste
Hi there! Welcome to the bee! It’ll happen when you least expect it, I’m sure. While I haven’t yet had my DW, it’s coming up in September. I’ll tell you a bit about my experience thus far, although I can’t answer the questions.
When the FI and I first started planning, we were certain we would be doing the huge traditional wedding. We put a down payment on a lovely venue in downtown Los Angeles and were finalizing our guest list, preparing to send out invites. It occured to me when the guest list topped 280, that this was NOT what we wanted. I talked to my fiance about my feelings and he wholeheartedly agreed. We are both in our 30’s and a pretty far removed from the huge party atmosphere. We ditched the venue, the traditions and decided on an EXTREMELY informal, small beach wedding. The planning has been much less stressful, but more importantly I feel that I’m doing what I want. While I don’t knock brides whatsoever for wanting the big traditional package, as most of them do, it just doesn’t appeal to my FI and myself.
I do not want my wedding to feel like a wedding. I want it to feel like a small party with my closest family and friends, and that’s exactly what we’re doing. However, I would think long and hard about what makes sense for you. Obviously it will be more expensive with more guests, however if it’s important to you to have traditions, and to have that wedding reception there are ways to help reduce costs dramatically. I’ve had friends do huge backyard affairs that were elegant but inexpensive. The best advice I can give you is to follow your heart on this decision. I don’t regret my choice whatsoever, but it’s very clear to me that this is what I want. Don’t let the price deter you from having the wedding of your dreams.
Post # 3
I had a DW and have never regretted it. We included all the traditions that we wanted to and left out the ones we didn’t. Set a budget and then look for a location that will get you the most bang for your buck. You may have compromise on some things but I think that happens whether you have a DW or a hometown wedding.
The thing to remember thought is to keep your expectation of guests really low for a DW. Some will just not want to travel, others will not be able to afford it. The thing is you can’t get mad at them. Be disapoointed that they can’t join you butrememebr that not coming doesn;t mean they hate you, don’t support you or the other 100 things some brides come up with to bitch out guests who choose not to attend their expensive to get to DW.
Post # 4
Hi Katiegirl! Just saw your post and maybe you are engaged now? Anyway, I just had my destination wedding in Panama earlier this year and we had never even been there before! But it was so incredibly awesome – we got written up here: http://destinationido.com/destination_wedding_panama which has some more details and photos if interested. I have a HUGE family and would have had 200-300 people as well if I held it in the US, so 80 people at my DW was the perfect, perfect number. Yes, some people you really wish could come may not be able to – but that can happen with local weddings as well. And some people really surprised me! There was no stress with invites – and we were able to tell our parents to invite anyone they wanted, because we knew only those that really wanted to would make it. We were able to have a more luxurious, intimate, pesonal wedding with all the bells and whistles as opposed to a probably much more scaled back, less luxurious and probably less intimate wedding in the US. I am not very traditional however (although my family is), but I did incorporate some rituals in the ceremony that I wanted, etc. Our guests had an amazing time in Panama and many called it “epic”! We mostly paid for the wedding ourselves and didn’t ask for gifts as we know traveling can be expensive but once again everyone surprised us – my parents wanted to pay for the first night’s dinner and his parents gave a generous check as well as other guests also gave us checks at the end of the wedding weekend. You can try send out a few “feelers” to close friends and relatives to see if they think they would be able to participate in a destination wedding (i sent an email to extended family a little more than a year before to sort of feel it out). But then again, my friends and family like to travel, I recommend you get a sense of your guests as well. Good luck!
Post # 5
I had a destination wedding and a traditional wedding..I know I got lucky! Don’t think they are inexpensive. If you go crazy on decorations on the beach it can get you up to 10k just on that..While I LOVED having a destination wedding because it was so different I didn’t like the fact that I had to get stuck with all the people there after my wedding..would you like that? Just take it into consideration..
It’s hard bcause the traditionl is so different from the destination wedding..