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I am planning on having a destination wedding myself in Hawaii. I am planning on having my mom and grandmother from my side and about 14 people on his side (his family is awesome..my family sucks major a$$).
I will open the invite to any of our friends (we are doing a Hawaiian cruise), but don't expect any to come since we won't be able to afford to pay for anything (ie, airfare, part of their package, execursions, etc) for them. We are however planning on hosting a big backyard bbq later on in the year. This will include some of the family memebers that I actually like from my family, the rest of his and all of our friends.
This way I don't have to worry about bridesmaids not liking the dress or the shoes or something else. I don't have to worry about what dress my mom is going to where or what his mom is going to wear. I am not going to have to worry about his mom trying to bogart the planning-not that she would.
For me a destination wedding is perfect because I don't really like to be the center of attention, neither does my BF. Plus we are no religious so no church. And this way it will be like a mini family vacation for his side since he has family on different coasts.
Yea, we aren't religious either, but part of me kinda wants all the hoopla of a traditional wedding. I really like the idea of a destination wedding, Im just scared I might regret it later.
Do you think since Im even having doubts I should just avoid it?
we had our wedding in tropical Paupa New Guinea last year
How many people did you invite?
How many people came?
no one - it was only us
Did you ever regret having a DW instead of a traditional wedding?
no - its been 6mths and we both still buzz about it.
What is better/worse about a DW?
worse: the legalities and paperwork but we had to deal with a 3rd world country and it was much easier than my cousin that married in Italy - that was painful and a year later possibly not a legal marriage
best:
it was us, it was our way of doing things and the entire day we laughed, smiled and was happy - absoultely zero stress for us
oh, and only thing i would change was the time of the wedding - we married at 1pm on the beach and it was hot
Aloha HoneyBear,
My husband and I are from the mainland but we met and have lived in Hawaii for 10 years. When we were married here (on the beach) it was like having a destination wedding for everyone else.
Some things to keep in mind-
Make it easy on your guests: have information available for them to make their planning easy, suggest places to stay, plan some family events for everyone, refer them to a wedding website with links to the location and attractions. It may sound like more work but once you get to your location everything will be done... unlike the typical wedding week when you are running like crazy.
Close your eyes and think about what it looks like when you are walking down the isle... are you barefoot and is your fiance standing in front of a big blue ocean, or...
How many people did you invite? 100
How many people came? 70
Did you ever regret having a DW instead of a traditional wedding? nope...it can be both!
What is better/worse about a DW? I think the DW bride can spend less time planning and stressing, especially during the event and have more time (like a week) to play and enjoy her guests and fiance.
Go with your gut, everything else will fall into place.
l.r._export-3060.jpg (81.1 KB, 50 downloads) 2 years old
How many people did you invite? about 120
How many people came? 36
Did you ever regret having a DW instead of a traditional wedding?
not for a second. I had to let go of some control but it all worked out in the end.
What is better/worse about a DW?
Better: randoms we had to invite out for ettiquette (sp?) reasons - you know weirdo family members etc. - didn't/couldn't come. It was all our closest closest family and friends which felt more special. It was SO FUN to have everyone there in party mode for a week. It really extends the celebration and everyone is relaxed and happy because they are on vacation. We stayed another 10 days for our honeymoon and because we were there for a week before the wedding it felt like we really got to do everything we wanted on our honeymoon without the pressure of 'only having so many days'.
Worse: we had a few close friends that couldn't afford the trip which was a bummer. I had to give up/scale down some DIY projects because I obviously had limited luggage - as it was I had to pay $700 in luggage fees to get on the plane!
I started a destination wedding... Paid deposits, and it ended up being too overwhelming (for ME.) My parents were against it, as they wanted alot of family there.. That was my experience however i still think it's a good idea.
we're kind of having the opposite problem. We're getting married here in FL, which is home for us, but destination for all of our families. We expected that with it being a destination wedding and the state of the economy, that alot of people would decline. Now we are getting back ALOT of accepts..... and are starting to get worried about cost.
We had ZERO regrets about doing a destination wedding. This is YOUR wedding and by having a destination you will have someplace to always go back to visit to celebrate.
We invited 140 guests (this included children and +1s)
We had 85 attend (most people did not bring their children and chose to treat it like a weekend getaway, we only had 7-8 couples who could not attend and many singles didn't bring a date)
I think what's better about having a destination wedding is that we got to include everyone in all of the weekend activities, i.e. we had a welcome party instead of a traditional rehearsal dinner so we had two major events to spend time with everyone who had traveled to see us. Our guests got a fantasticly fun weekend and had a chance to explore a part of the country many had never seen. I would do it all over again in a heartbeat.
We want a destination wedding, just the two of us - somewhere we can continue onto our honeymoon. But every honeymoon location we've looked into has had some messed-up wedding laws making it such a hassle for foreigners to marry! So our plan is to marry here, but alone.
We're planning on having a wedding dinner the night before our wedding day with family. It will be convenient for everyone since it'll be on a Saturday. We also don't feel comfortable being the center of attention so we'll be wearing non-wedding clothes. Then on Sunday, on our wedding date, at dusk, we're to be wed. We want to do it alone, but because we'll be in town, I feel bad not inviting his parents, even though they say they're fine with it. His Mom always seems to get glassy-eyed when we just talk about the wedding and this weekend, she even offered to help pay ... she said we can use it for our wedding or honeymoon, wherever we want. I feel guilty not inviting them but Fi assures it's OK. If we do invite them, then I'd feel bad not having my Mom there ... but the flight is so far that if my Mom comes, the cycle of stress is just as if we'd want a traditional wedding!
So I'm also having doubts ... specially after watching Mrs. Cowboy Boot's wedding vid! But everytime I think about all the hassle and stress it will be, I snap out of it!
@Ms Sassy, it's like you took the words out of my mouth!
@eloping, girl, you give me strength to follow through!
We're getting married in Aruba in 5 MONTHS!! Eeekkkss!!
How many people did you invite? guest list is 132
How many people came? we estimate about 40-50 people
Did you ever regret having a DW instead of a traditional wedding? I'm still planning it, but I have no regrets at all!! The planning has been so easy and stressfree! My BFF is getting married here locally and her guest list is 415 and shes super stressed! It also helped that the fi and I went on a site visit this past summer did food/cake tasting, met the florist, DJ, and officiant. We love out wedding coordinator too!
What is better/worse about a DW? better-cheaper and smaller/ bad-slower communication time with vendors
I certainly understand what you are going through - I think I just ditched my whole destination wedding plan... not because I didn't want it, but because of the price. I figured I could rent a house for $3000 and have it there.... turns out there are certain houses for events, event fees, service charges, taxes, cleaning, etc. Long story short - I was at $7500 for the house.
Since we are using most of the money from my dad for a down payment on a house, I cut the destination part, (as of now,) and saved about $6000. Plus, now I can have the real reception with all of the stupid traditions that, yes, I was a little bummed about missing out on.
Good luck with your decision - it's a tricky one!
We had our wedding in Grand Cayman (recaps are still in the works!), and I would do it again in a heartbeat!!
How many people did you invite? I think around 200 or maybe a bit more. We invited the entire list we would have for a big, hometown wedding. In fact, I think our list was even bigger (we could include all those randoms our parents wanted), because we knew that most people wouldn't come anyway.
How many people came? We were expecting 30-40, but around 80 people came!! Big shocker!! Our budget doubled, but it was so worth it!!
Did you ever regret having a DW instead of a traditional wedding? NO WAY, not even for a second. It was an awesome vacation with all of our closest friends. Sure, there were a few people missing, but that didn't put a damper on our day (or, week, to be exact!) at all.
What is better/worse about a DW? Usually people want to make a vacation out of it (and you should encourage that by organizing events, etc.), so you end up spending way more time celebrating with the people you love. That is by far the best part. Also, people raved about our wedding. We could tell that everyone was having a blast.
Some of the drawbacks are working with vendors in a different country, credit card transaction fees (watch out for those--cards charge your for converting currency!), planning a wedding from afar (helps you to loosen up and have a relaxed attitued though!), guests spending more money, schlepping all your wedding crap to the location, guests not being able to make it, people trying to make you feel guilty about having a wedding that is not convenient for them to attend.
If you want to maximize attendance, try to make it affordable. Find out the cheapest times to fly (I recommend shoulder season, the time between high and low season), negotiate good group rates at hotels, help match people who may want roomates. Oh, and make an awesome wedding website with lots of details about the location and all the fun events!! Good luck!!
I am getting married in October in Mexico and currently we have about 52 guests out of about 100 invited. It brings a different kind of stress then planning a local, more traditional wedding as you have to communicate with your wedding planner and plan from far away. I used destinationweddings.com and they have been great. They got great deals for all of our guests and everyone is pretty excited. There are a few VIP people that are not going to make it, which is sad, but I knew that by having a destination wedding, that would be the reality. Your closest friends and family will do their best to be there, and giving them A LOT of time to plan (about a year) is appreciated and reasonable. If they want to come, this gives them plenty of time to plan for a big financial commitment. The best part is not having to invite people you would have felt obligated too, it elimintaes a whole bunch of wedding stress, and everyone (mostly) is looking forward to getting away and celebrating! Good luck on your decision!
Our wedding is in just over a month but I thought I would respond anyway.
How many people did you invite? 90
How many people came? We just got our final count of 34
Did you ever regret having a DW instead of a traditional wedding?
NOPE!! Our theory all along has been we only want the people there who want to be there. With the except of maybe 2 or 3 people, EVERYONE could have afforded to go, but they chose not to.
What is better/worse about a DW?
This is my second wedding, his first, so my answer might be a bit different. My first wedding was VERY traditional...and I hated it. Df and I wanted something intimate and fun. We don't want to spend our reception walking from table to table thanking people. We want to enjoy our wedding and our guests.
Hello there! Is anyone getting married in Oahu, Hawaii? If so, any recommendations on vendors or hotels? My DW is a very small affair and I want to throw a welcome party and reception. Any suggestions on where to obtain chairs and tables and perhaps a caterer?
I'm not a diy person, but I think I'm being forced to learn through this wedding planning! Bees, any advice would be greatly appreciated!
We live in VA but are getting married in Puerto Rico. It's destination for us, but not for 75% of our guestlist! And from what I'm hearing, everyone is going... soooo we're looking at 200 guests, but we're excited about it! Our whole family lives in PR, with the exception of my parents and sisters, and a couple uncles and cousins, but the meat and potatoes of both our families are there, and they are ecstatic! I have a lot of connections through the family, so all decorations, favors, cake is all taken care of, I just need to go out 3 months before the wedding, pay off everything, buy the supplies, and everything will be done by the time we get there.
We were married in Negril, Jamaica 12/12/09..
How many people did you invite? 120? We didn't invite any more than we could have possibly paid for if everyone said yes.. that meant a few people didn't get an invite, which is sad but to be honest they probably wouldn't have come anyway.
How many people came? 50! We had more RSVP yes but we had some people flake, and some people legitimately back out (preggo with twins 
)
Did you ever regret having a DW instead of a traditional wedding? NO WAY! I would do it all again and not change anything. Heck, we would have just gone bigger if we did it again.
What is better/worse about a DW? No silly stuff to plan, like chairs, table cloths, napkins, etc. It's also a good excuse for not following stuffy traditions or having to pretend you're a princess. It's also great b/c you don't have to feel the same pressure to talk to everyone right after the wedding - they're there all weekend. You can party at your reception! Imagine that 
DOOOO ITTTTT.. it's great! and very memorable.
We are having a DW wedding because most of his family/friends have to fly in from out of state or across Texas. My family/friends it is a 5 hour drive.
We invited 450 people, so far we've gotten 80 yes and 30 no. We sent invites out last week. We anticipate about 200-230 people coming.
I am not regretting having a DW wedding because our location is so neat and fun for everyone. We are having a golf outing that morning, wine tasting in the afternoon, ceremony/reception that night and brunch the following morning. So lots of guests are excited about the mini-vacation.
Worse part is getting in touch with vendors. We've made 3 trips out there to book venues/rentals/caterers.
Best part is that it is forcing us to get things done ahead of time so that come the Thursday prior everything is done and we get to enjoy our time with family/friends.
I did have a friend who had a wedding in Puerto Rico. She invited 150 people and 100 went.
We also had another friend who lives in Hawaii and had her wedding there. We didn't go because she choose to have it on the side of the island that has zero hotels. So that meant we had to rent a car in order to get to the wedding site and to our hotel. That was just going to be too costly for us. Also, she had it on a holiday weekend. The flights get booked to capacity on holiday weekends so I wouldn't recommend that.
We are having a DW next month in Savannah, GA. We live in Boston (as do all of my FI's family & friends) while my family & friends are from the midwest & south, so a neutral location [in a warmer climate] was a great compromise. And my FI did not want to recite vows in front of a ton of people, especially a bunch of distant relatives and family friends that we don't know very well (if at all). We invited 120 and 60 are coming.
My parents still wanted to have a second reception in my hometown two weeks after the actual wedding for 1. people we did not invite due to wanting to keep the actual wedding small and 2. people that could not make it to Savannah. That reception will be a little more casual than the formal reception we're having after the ceremony. I'm very grateful to my parents for wanting to throw this second party for us. :)
I got married in San Juan, Puerto Rico and it was the best decision I ever made!
Invited: 100, Attended: 30
Don't regret at all! But I was never the person who wanted a big traditional wedding to begin with. However, I also didn't have one of those all-inclusive DWs where everything is planned for you, so you can have the best of both worlds if you want.
Best: Our closest friends and family are the ones who came to the wedding making it an intimate, warm, really friendly affair. Everyone got to know each other, danced with each other and enjoyed each other's company!
Worst: For me, there really isn't a worst. (well, okay, I had photographer issues, but that can happen anywhere) The only thing I usually do put out there for people on the fence about DWs is this: you will have less control over the details because you're planning from a distance, so I do think if you're someone who simply wants every detail to be the way you envision it or who wants to do a lot of DIY, a DW may not be for you.
We are having a DW and they are doing most of the booking/calling etc.. I am inviting only 30 and 25 are confirmed. It will be very intimate and this is my first wedding so i am stoked!! I have always wanted to have a destination wedding next to a ocean. it will be taking place in Mexico at VIM, October 24, 2010. Congratulations to everyone!!!
I hope this helps... for the record... I would do it all again, the same way all over again if given the choice!
How many people did you invite? 60
How many people came? 50
Did you ever regret having a DW instead of a traditional wedding? Absolutely 100% NOT. It was the best decision we've ever made!!
What is better/worse about a DW? The best.... location!!! What beats the sun and sea as the backdrop to your wedding. It's casual, the planning is practically done for you. You get a week of fun with your family and friends.
The ONLY negative thing I had happen was my hair. The stylists that were at my particular resort did not speak English and did not follow my photo so my hair was done.. then I went back to my room and washed it out and redid it. It looked that bad. In the end it was fine but I wasted quite a bit of time and money initially to get it done wrong.
I can't imagine getting married in a church with a big hall ceremony here... so much work and planning and not alot of fun... this is the way to go!!
WDWBride, Kitten, and Sadie all of your stories are inspiring! You've made me excited.
For Honeybear I say go with your gut. I live in Texas also and I am planning a DW for on a Florida Beach in Summer 2011. And I'm about 80% sure that I want a DW over local. More stress locally and cost more. (Especially with my taste). Also I don't want to have to deal with the minor details that people pay attention to. Paying hundreds for flowers, decor, bridesmaids, groomsmen, etc. Too much of a hassle in my eyes. I've helped plan two local weddings and they are drama. Even when you go with the "all inclusive" venues those appear to look cheap to me and I can't stand it for myself.
We both love to travel and adore the beach. I entertained the idea of having our DW in the Carribean but like some of the other posts I saw the "legalities" involved and opted for a US or US Territory wedding (i.e. US Virgin Island or Hawaii) Because you don't have to go through all of the trouble. The reason I did not choose those though is because of the expense. I got the best location (Florida) that would be the most affordable for my guests.
Still deciding on whether to have a reception when we return within 2-4 weeks after the wedding. Will probably do so. But not too fancy. Depending on our budget. Something nice though. Nice venue, good food, great entertainment, etc.
after reading all of these I am so glad we chose to have DW!! We can hardly wait and we are counting down the days (crazy right? lol)
I know we are making the right choice for us and our family loves us no matter what! Yay I cant wait! lol
How many people did you invite? ~120ish (everyone who would have been invited to a hometown wedding
How many people came? 44 plus us make 46 :)
Did you ever regret having a DW instead of a traditional wedding? There were some times during the planning when I though it may have been easier to have an at home wedding, but once we got to Jamaica, all those thoughts got washed away in beautiful Caribbean waves :)
Bests: We got to spend at least a week with all of our favourite people in the world, especially family members that live far away and we don't get to spend nearly enough time with. Because we saved so much money by choosing a DW, we were able to splurge on upgrades to our reception at the resort. The money we saved on having a DW meant we were able to buy a house last March(!).
Worsts: Getting used to 'Island Time' and how things are done in Jamaica (not necessarily a DW thing, but a Jamaica thing). Not a single other regret though :)
How many people did you invite?
about 100
How many people came?
38
Did you ever regret having a DW instead of a traditional wedding?
Not ever! No way! Everyone who came had an amazing time and got to know each other. They've all added each other as facebook friends and talk to each other often now.
What is better/worse about a DW?
Not everyone you know and love will be able to make it, but the ones who matter the most will make it with enough notice to save the money for a vacation and an event they'll cherish with loved ones forever.
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So all my life I have pictured myself getting married on a beach and my parents are in favor of this idea but....
I know if I have a destination wedding there is a good chance that a lot of people wont go. So for all you destination wedding brides:
How many people did you invite?
How many people came?
Did you ever regret having a DW instead of a traditional wedding?
What is better/worse about a DW?
Thanks in advance