Post # 1
WHEN MY FIANCE AND I FIRST STARTED TO THINK ABOUT PLANNING OUR WEDDING, IT WAS GOING TO BE A TRADITIONAL, CHURCH, RECEPTION IN THE SAME TOWN, WEDDING. I HONESTLY THOUGHT, WHAT ELSE COULD WE DO? EVERYONE ELSE HAD THEIRS THIS WAY. IT WAS JUST TRADITION..(WHICH WAS HONESTLY THE LAST THING I WANTED). SO TRYING TO FIGURE OUT WHAT WE WANTED, ALL I KEPT SAYING IN MY HEAD AND EVEN OUT LOUD AT TIMES, IS THAT “I WANT IT TO BE DIFFERENT”, NOT LIKE ALL THE OTHER WEDDING I’VE BEEN TOO.
WELL MY FIANCE’S PARENTS INVITED US TO GO ON A FAMILY CRUISE IN MARCH AND THE IDEA IDEA CAME UP OF HAVE A CRUISE WEDDING. WHICH WAS COOL, BUT WHEN I THOUGHT FURTHER INTO IT, WE COULD HAVE OUR WEDDING ON A BEAUTIFUL BEACH WITH OUR CLOSEST FRIENDS AND FAMILY. IT JUST SOUNDED AMAZING! WELL I LOOKED FURTHER INTO IT AND PICTURES I FOUND FROM WEBSITES AND OTHER PLACES WERE JUST ABSOLUTELY UNFORGETTABLE!!! IT LOOKED SERIOUSLY LIKE A DREAM! THEN I FOUND PACKAGES FOR WEDDING AND HONEYMOON FOR UNDER 5000.00!! (WHICH WOULD SAVE US A HELL OF A LOT OF MONEY!!!)
BAD PART: MY FIANCE’S PARENTS WANT US TO GET MARRIED IN THEIR BACKYARD (WHICH IN TOTALLY NICE) AND THEN HAVE A BIG PARTY AFTERWARDS…THEN GO ON OUR HONEYMOON. MY PARENTS ARE UPSET BECAUSE ITS TOTALLY NOT TRADITIONAL AND MY GRANDPARENTS WOULDNT BE ABLE TO ATTEND, NOT ONLY HAVING TO PAY TO SEE ME GET MARRIED (WHICH THEY WERE ALREADY GOING TO CONTRIBUTE TO WEDDING ANYWAY) SO I DON’T SEE A PROBLEM.
WE HAVE TALKED TO ALL OF OUR CLOSEST FRIENDS AND THEY TOTALLY LOVE THE IDEA AND WOULD BE GLAD TO COME!
ITS JUST OUR PARENTS ARE HAVING A PROBLEM WITH.
QUESTION: SHOULD MY FIANCE AND I DO WHAT OUR HEART TELLS US WHICH WE WOULD LOVE NOTHING MORE THAN TO GET MARRIED ON A BEAUTIFUL BEACH IN THE BAHAMAS. OR SHOULD BE CATER TO WHAT EVERYONE ELSE WANTS AND COMPROMISE BY HAVING THE WEDDING HERE IN OUR HOME TOWN??
Post # 3
That is tough. I think it depends on how adamantly opposed your families are to the idea of a destination wedding. You have to do what is right for you- whether that is keeping the peace with your families or having the type of wedding you really want.
As a compromise, have you suggested having a DW and then a reception/party back home for those unable to make it?
Post # 4
YES I HAVE SUGGESTED THAT.
BUT SOME ARE STILL UNHAPPY BECAUSE THEY WILL BE UNABLE TO ATTEND THE ACTUAL WEDDING.
I HAVE ALSO SUGGESTED THAT I WILL HAVE THE CEREMONY VIDEOTAPED FOR THOSE WHO ARE UNABLE TO ATTEND SO THEY CAN ACTUALLY SEE IT HAPPEN.
BUT THEY WERE STILL UNHAPPY.
I JUST DON’T KNOW WHAT TO DO. MY FIANCE KNOW WHAT WE WANT TO DO, BUT WE DON’T WANT TO HAVE TO GO THROUGH ALL OF THIS, BECAUSE IT WILL BE OUR DAY. AND WE THINK THAT THEY SHOULD JUST ACCEPT IT.
Post # 5
It is indeed a really delicate situation. Last year I was going through a similar thing. We had our wedding in my home country. In our case, my husband’s sister and her family as well as his father and step mom did not attend. Also many of our friends – who initially said they were coming – ended up declining the invitation (some at the last moment). Every “no, sory, we can’t” hurt badly (now I realize, I kind of took it too personally). I was happy though that my closest friends came. In the end we had a beautiful wedding (I could say my dream wedding:)) and I wouldn’t change it at all.
I think you should ask yourself (or yourselves) who are the people you abloslutely want by your side at the wedding? Are these people willing to come? Then take it from there.
Also, I love backyard weddings. They can be so wonderful and personal.
Or, are there lakes or natural settings resembling a beach in your area? This could be a nice compromise as well.
Post # 6
WELL WE LIVE IN SOUTH LOUISIANA AND ARE CURRENTLY GOING THROUGH THE WHOLE “OIL SPILL” DILEMMA, AND OUR BEACHES WEREN’T THAT GREAT TO BEGIN WITH.
NOW THE PEOPLE THAT WE ABSOLUTELY WANT BY OUR SIDE ARE WILLING TO COME, SOME OF THEM (MY PARENTS) ARE UNHAPPY THAT WE ARE WANTING TO TAKE THIS ROUTE, BUT ARE WILLING TO COME.
Post # 7
No matter what you do, there will be people that will be unhappy about your choice.
Would your rather have your parents unhappy or yourselves?
Will they come even if they criticize your choice? If the answer is yes, then I think, go for it if the most important people are there with you.
My mom and DH’s mom had a hard time with our decision. My mom spent a whole year trying to change my mind – what a fun year! But they came, and they had a blast, and my parents, who never travelled before, talk about going back all the time. Aunts and uncles had a problem with it and they did not come, but we are not close to them and wanted a very intimate affair, so we were happy about their decision. In the end, it was us, our parents and ciblings and a few very close friends and it was a dream.
The big problem is usually that they’re confronted with a new idea, but once they’re there, they won’t regret. Neither will you.
Post # 8
EGB: you are totally right. Thats not something they are used of hearing about a wedding or where it would be. My parents have traveled but never to a place so beautiful, romantic, and intimate. I honestly think they would love it.
My fiance and I agreed that it is what WE want, our family loves us and will come if it means that much to them. and also if they don’t like it they will in time get over it. I have agreed to get a videographer to video the actual wedding ceremony and have a big party at our house when we get back for those unable to attend the wedding. We can all sit down and watch it.
My fiance and I are unbelievably happy about this idea and can’t wait for it to all happen.
Post # 9
THANKS TO EVERYONE FOR THERE INPUT AND SUGGESTIONS!!! IT WAS SO MUCH APPRECIATED!!
Post # 10
YEEESSSSS!!!!!!!!!! Do what YOU & YOUR FIANCE want to do!!
This is EXACTLY the same situation I had to go through. His parents wanted the traditional church wedding with a big party afterwards. They tried to tell us to go to the place we wanted to have the wedding afterwards for our honeymoon too. And they almost had me convinced to through all my daydreams out the window. But then my Mom told me, “DO WHAT YOU WANT TO DO!! It’s YOUR wedding!!” The idea of a beach wedding was so different to them, they were very reluctant about it. But in the end, they ended up loving it. And all the ppl important to us made it to the wedding, and everyone agreed that we had made the right choice. I’m so glad I did my beach wedding, I have absolutely no regrets!!
Here’s a pic!!
Post # 11
Thank you so much for your picture, it is absolutely lovely! I have already ordered my wedding dress before we even decided on this and most of everyone was like “your still going to wear your dress?” bc its not the traditional flowy white gown that most people do for beach weddings.
My dress is the Maggie Sottero Gatsby in the Champagne / Pewter color and I absolutely love this gown. I’m very into anything vintage and this gown to me represents and gives off that feeling of antique.
Your gown is beautiful and its anything but what most brides would do for a beach wedding. I was a little skeptical at first about wearing my dress on the beach, but you just totally sealed the deal! Thanks again for your opinion!
Post # 12
I looked up the Maggie Sottero Gatsby gown, that is going to look SPECTACULAR on the beach. I love that sheer illusion train!! That was one thing that I knew, I didn’t want to wear any plain, or simple, or short “beachy” dress. I wanted a “real” wedding dress, although I was barefoot!!! Glad I could help out cuz these boards helped me so much
Post # 13
I think that you should do what is best for you and your family. I had a semi-destination wedding. Meaning we all had to travel to get there. For majority of us it was a 4-5 hour car ride and then for some a plane ride. His entire side had to drive or fly regardless of if it was local or not. We had a great turnout about 220 people we invited 450.
Now the flipside… on our honeymoon we went to St. Lucia and there was a wedding everyday. Yes they were beautiful but most of the couples were there alone, some might have only their parents there. We actually were asked to join a couple at their wedding. We met them on the first day of our honeymoon and they got married on the last day of our honeymoon. Again it was pretty, but having witnessed it I felt sad that this couple had planned for 30 people to attend and only 4 showed up. All of their friends who said they’d come backed out due to $ and other reasons. So they asked us to attend because they had already paid for the 30 people and didn’t want the food to go to waste.
I know that the above isn’t the case for everyone and some people are content to it just being the two of them. But you need to decide if you are going to be sad that you didn’t have your bestfriend there or your Grandparents and other extended family.
Good luck, you’ll figure it out.