(Closed) Destination Weddings and Wedding Party rooms…

posted 9 years ago in Destination Weddings
Post # 3
Member
228 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: May 2018

I was a bridesmaid in a destination wedding, and we paid for own rooms and our own flight tickets transportation etc. I don’t know if that is etiquette to pay for rooms but maybe you can help and pay one night for them if you feel strongly about it. If your wedding is at a hotel is the hotel giving you room block discounts? Ideally it would be easier to have your party stay at the same place your wedding is but it just means they are possibly going to have all their getting ready stuff in your room the day of the wedding and will have to get it sometime after the wedding. But those are just details, if they can taxi back and forth from the 20 min away hotel that could be a possibility as long as they have options. I wouldn’t  think you were not following etiquette or not being thoughtful for not paying for their hotel rooms though. 

Post # 4
Member
228 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: May 2018

oh and you can always help offset hotel room costs by paying for their hair or make up. I am paying for my bms hair as part of their gift, it may not pay for their room but it still helps offset their costs.  

Post # 6
Member
228 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: May 2018

glad I could help because seriously $400×6 a night is a lot to pay for!

Post # 7
Member
39 posts
Newbee

Honestly I would be very insulted if somone asked me to be in their wedding but put me in a hotel 20 minutes away.  I am pretty sure Emily Post has a section on this.  If you can’t move your wedding to a cheaper location then cut down on your bridal party.  My friends got married at a really nice resort in St Barth’s and only did two wedding party members since she had your problem.  I may be too late in sending this but offering to put them 20 minutes away is going to cause a huge fight.  sorry…

Post # 8
Member
3 posts
Wannabee
  • Wedding: October 2009

I’m having a destination wedding and because of the current economic situation, i didn’t want my bridesmaids to feel being in my wedding was a financial burden.  So instead of giving them a jewelry set or whatever, I decided to pay for their dress, hair, and make-up.  Most bridesmaids don’t even like their dress, and if they do, they don’t have anything to wear it to again without it already looking like a BM dress. 

Post # 9
Member
6 posts
Newbee
  • Wedding: September 2007

I specialize in destination wedding photography,and have for years .it is customary for everyone to pay for there own transportaion and hotel.

Post # 10
Member
214 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: September 2009

We are having a DW in Vegas so footing the bill for my bridal party isn’t an option for us, though I really wish we could afford to.

I emphasize that if my bridesmaids felt they couldn’t afford to be in the wedding that it was totally understandable. I didn’t want them feeling pressured to participate if they didn’t have the money to.

Post # 11
Member
57 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: May 2009

It depends on the situation, but you might want to help your wedding party coordinate so they can share rooms, and then maybe kick in a little money to help offset some of the cost. For example, if you had several bridesmaids who wouldn’t mid staying together, it might get the cost down to around $100 per person per night.

Post # 12
Member
2004 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: November 2008

Wait, were you thinking of having each girl get her own room, all to herself? I think that goes well beyond your duty and might even be a little bit lonely! I think it would be fine to ask them to share rooms. If they don’t know each other, then probably it would be best to limit it so that each gets her own bed. But to me part of the night before the wedding fun is hanging out with your girlfriends and bridesmaids until all hours of the night. If they share that will cost a lot less. Also ask the hotel for  a discount seeming as you are having your wedding there. I think it’s pretty standard for bridesmaids to pay for their own hotel, but a $400 room is quite a lot to ask. It would be really sweet to subsidize their stay as much as you can.

Post # 13
Member
349 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: August 2008

We had a small destination wedding and we only paid our own room & ticket. We sent out several nearby hotel rates and also followed Expedia closley. We got lucky and noticed a sale going on for our hotel so we notified our guests about it (the rate was better than the discount the hotel offered).

Instead of paying for rooms, we covered a welcome dinner party the night before and also planned a tour (two options – Tulum tour or deep sea fishing) the day after for our guests.

Post # 14
Member
310 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: December 2008

This is a tough one.

Personally, I think in this situation you should pay for their rooms for the night of the wedding. I think if you are requiring that the bridal party to be in a location which they cannot take a taxi home to their own house afterwards you should pay for their hotel on the night of the wedding. The bridal party is doing you a favor by being in the wedding and the cost they should incur to do so should be as minimal (or non-existant) as possible. If I were you I would find it in my budget to pay for 1 night for each of them, or find a different location to host your wedding which is within your budget.

 

Post # 15
Member
46 posts
Newbee
  • Wedding: November 2008

While a nice gesture, it’s not required to pay for your attendants’ rooms for a DW.  Think about it this way — if a bridesmaid lived in another state and had to fly to take part in the wedding, you’re not expected to pay for her transportation or lodging.  A DW is the same thing, really.

Post # 16
Member
1220 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: November 2009

What about the Lodge?  That’s where we’re putting our guests up.  It’s just across the road.  No big deal.  And at half the cost…

 

I’ve heard that there are also no room breaks…at least they haven’t told me anything about one. 

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