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I would only attend if I could get a great deal on airfare/hotel, or if it was really close friend or family member. I'm a broke college student, and just can't afford to go on vacation for any old DW. I think that's something DW brides should (and usually do) take into account - it's often hard for people to get away. And honestly, when I considered a DW awhile back, that was a big part of why I liked it: I've always wanted a more intimate wedding with only people who I actually recognize.
I don't think she has a right to be mad, although I understand being disappointed.
I would love to attend. Any excuse to get out of my hometown. However, i voted for only if it was a family member or close friend.
For me, it would depend on how close I was to whoever was getting married and also if I could afford it. Destination weddings are awesome, but they aren't in every guests budget and sometimes no matter how much they want to be there, they just can't afford to be.
SUPER close family (a sibling) or a SUPER close friend (like, my college roommate).
Otherwise, it's just too much money to spend on someone else's wedding. If i'm dropping a few grand on a vacation, I like to pick my own place. Sounds mean...but yeah. Destination weddings aren't cheap or convenient for most guests!
Um, I gotta be honest. I have been to so many Florida weddings that I can't take it anymore. I think a lot depends on the destination. Destination weddings can be a lot of fun---but it does take time and planning and cost on your guests. I would never assume people would be willing to make those sacrifices for my wedding. Of course, I'd be thrilled and honored if they did!
Destination weddings are hard. They require a HUGE expense on the part of the guest. Brides having every right to have destination weddings (and they are beautiful and so romantic!) but they usually consider ahead of time whether it will work for their guests.
I'm sorry you're in this situation. It's not your fault, though! And clearly, you weren't alone. I feel bad for the bride but I understand why you had to decline.
I originally wanted a destination wedding - assuming it would be small (just close friends and family - if that) but ultimately decided on a wedding where we live (which IS a destination for 80% of our guests since we live out of state for our family and most of our friends).
We invited 200 guests and 100 attended (with 7 no-shows that rsvp'ed Yes).
That was perfect! The perfect sized wedding for us! :)
I would attend for a very close family member or friend, so there are probably only about 20 people I know whose destination wedding I would attend.
But it also depends on location and type of event. I don't like big resorts, so a trip to an all-inclusive type place would not be an awesome way to spend a few thousand for me. A trip to a less packaged place would be much more up my alley.
I'm going to one in June and can't wait...i've been to a couple and I've had a blast at all of them. However, I can tell you that the deciding factor has always been money and what other vacations I'm taking that year. I think that even if it was someone i was not that close with but they were getting married somewhere cool and I had the money, I'd definitely go...And on the other hand, if it was someone with whom I was very close but I could not afford it at the time or already had a big vacation planned for the year, i'd probably decline. When planning a destination wedding, you should assume that most are not going to be able to come and be happy when more than none show up 
.
I voted for Yes, but only if the couple is family or a Really close friend
Very, Very close relative like my sister, brother or best friend. I wouldn't feel obligated to go it was a distant cousin or just any friend. I think it would be fun and what an honor it would be, but I don't think I would be able to afford going.
We are going to a destination wedding in Colombia in 2 weeks....only becuase my FI is a groomsman in the wedding. Honestly it is costing us SO much money and its a LOT to ask from guests to spend that much on your wedding. Its awesome because we probably would never go to Colombia if we werent going to the wedding, but I am taking vacation time that I barely have (wont even have enough vacation time to take the day of my rehearsal dinner off) AND we are spending money on their wedding that we would have been spending towards ours and our honeymoon. Im sure we will have a blast, but I think sometimes it is inconsiderate for people to have such elaborate destination weddings that are hard for even close friends and family to attend because theyre so expensive.
It depends. I would love to go to a destination wedding but I would only go if I could afford it and if the person was a close friend/relative. Also, it depends on where the wedding is.
It is defiantly cost related. We LOVE LOVE LOVE to travel but if the money isn't there then we are not going. We are having a destination wedding and are fully expecting only 15-20% of the people we invited to come.
I voted for family/close friend. But it also depends on what is going on that year. For us, the FI had a friend get married in Ski-country in January, I had 2 cousins get married in February, 1 wedding this month, ours next month and then another close friend in June in Seattle. So the FI and I had to choose who's not to attend. We choose not to attend the one in ski-country because not only did it involve airfare, rental car and hotel but also ski rentals and ski passes. So the cost was just too much for us. If it had been another year where we didn't have all these other weddings plus our own we would have gone.
I'm a DW bride getting married in Aruba this May!! I have about 50-60 people going to my DW and I'm super excited! I've been invited to 3 DWs (2 in Hawaii & 1 in CA) already this year, but were unable to make them due to us saving money for our own wedding. But of course I'd be totally all about it if they were family or REALLY close friends!
I wouldn't take it personal if people didn't attend ours. I know how rough it can be for people. Shoot, my sister (MOH) told me yesterday she wasn't going anymore. But oh well, what can I do!
Maybe, for a close/friend relative if I could afford it and had the vacation time. The only peron I'd go into debt for would be a sibling or parent.
If I had the money on hand, I would absolutely go. Then again, I have never once received an invite to a wedding for someone I wasn't close to to begin with.
We have 3 destination weddings (so far) between now and fall of 2011 - St Lucia, Key Largo, and Jamaica. We're going to all three. All of them are very close friends though. And each is only expecting about 40 guests
It really depends on where, when and who it was. I'm living in California and all our family members and friends live on the east coast. It sucks, I'll be honest but it's 1,000 time easier planning the wedding here because if I had it there, there would be no excuse for not inviting certain people lol Having it here means I can send them the invites but there's a good chance they won't come.
Like many have already said, I would only go if it was immediate family or a close friend AND I could afford it. For our wedding, we had no choice but to make it a "destination" wedding... our family & friends are from all over! We ended up picking the city that is home to the largest number of our guests -- but it isn't even our home city, and over half of our guests will still be coming from across the country. We totally understand that many people can't make it, and we're SO honored and grateful for the ones who are making the trip.
Destination weddings are great as long as people have the right attitude. Although I can understand the bride feeling disappointed, "anger" is not really an appropriate reaction...
I voted yes because, well..Im having a destination wedding!
Im very glad I did it as well because alot of my aunts/uncles/cousins that I grew up with all my life don't want to go. It's not because they can't afford it, it's simply because they just think its ridiculous that I want to do a DW. Oh well.
The only thing i've said is that now I know who truely wants to go to my wedding because they care for us, and who wouldve went only because it was something to do on a weekend. Im very hurt with most of my dads side of family and I know I need to let it go.
Of course I'd go to a destination wedding if it was a good friend getting married. So far I have 3 weddings I've been invited to in 2010 and all 3 are destinatino weddings. Some are more expensive than others though... one is out of the country which is pricey. It makes things tough b/c I'm getting married this year and it's hard to spend money going to other people's weddings when you have to worry about paying for your own.:/
It unfortunate that your friend got upset that many of her guests declined to go. Maybe she had a big expectations of how the wedding would be and it's crushing when it doesn't happen. However, if you chose to have a destination wedding you have to be able to accept that fact that it could be intimate and small. Especially in this economy, you need to be accepting of the outcome.
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I was invited to a destination wedding a little while back. When I heard about the wedding I was super excited and thought to myself that I would attend. After getting the invitation with the info I was forced to decline (due to money, and other issues)
The heard through the grape vine that a HUGE chunk of her guest list has declined and she was super upset and angry.
What about all of you? Would you attend a destination wedding? Please share your thoughts and stories...