(Closed) Determining whether continuing/an LDR is worth it

posted 6 years ago in Relationships
Post # 3
Member
2316 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: September 2013 - Old Stone House in Brookyn

I don’t have any advice of whether you should stay or go – I don’t think any of us could make that call over the internet. But DON’T feel guilty or stupid for needing verbal reassurance that he loves you. It’s absolutely reasonable to expect that.

Post # 5
Member
3220 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: February 2012

If you can’t wait until May to find out, I’d sit him down and talk about it.  Or if that backfires, send him an email if he’s bad at communicating.  You need verbal assurance (which is totally legit) but some people aren’t that showy about it.  I’m way more talkative about those kinds of things than my FI, but I know he adores me. In previous relationships I would have been bothered by this, but in this one I just know? (I do think, however, if I needed the verbal reassurance, I could ask him to say it more often and he would.) 

He could definitely feel it but just not be comfortable talking about it– but it makes me wonder if he’s got a hang-up about “the l word” if he can verbalize complex feelings like him feeling completely safe with you. 

If it were me, I’d let it slip when I was talking up the phone “Bye! Love you!” and hang up. Whoops! Tongue Out

 

Post # 8
Hostess
16217 posts
Honey Beekeeper

Every couple is different, but we did four years of an LDR, and to us, it was very much worth it. Even though it had it’s tough days, I’m so glad we stuck it out because now we’re almost eight months into our marriage.

If you truly see yourself spending the rest of your life with him, it sounds like he’s worth it to try as hard as you can to make the LDR work.

Post # 9
Member
3220 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: February 2012

Do you see yourself with him for the rest of your life? Is he also afraid of other milestones?  He seems willing to live with you.  Do you have the same views on marriage? 

If I seriously dated someone for a year and they hadn’t told me they loved me, I’d probably end it.  But before I gave up, I’d stop censoring myself and tell him I loved him whenever I felt like it, and just be frank and honest with him.  At this point, you’ve got nothing to lose. 

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