(Closed) Devastated…

posted 4 years ago in Emotional
Post # 3
Member
4528 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: April 2015

Oh my goodness! Sorry you’ve been through so much drama, and I wish you the best with your wedding

Post # 4
Hostess
7568 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: January 2013

I’m sorry you’re going through this. I haven’t read your other posts yet but she sounds like she’s going through some serious problems. I know it may not help now but know that this is about her, not you. I think you’re better off not having this negativity in your life. Best of luck. 

Post # 5
Member
612 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: November 2013

What the hell kind of person plans to move across country without telling her “best friend” let alone 3 weeks before your wedding???? That is so far beyond unacceptable… How could  someone do that? Sounds like your better off without her… Pills or no pills she should have been able to come to you as an adult and discuss this with you if you truly were as close as you felt the two of you were..

 

I’m so sorry this happened to you. Keep your chin up and hopefully all will go well from here on out!

Post # 6
Member
1671 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: October 2014 - Church

@Sevyn:  I had a friend like this before. From my experience there is nothing you can do other than let the time pass by to make it hurt less. The girl that used to be my friend (we were very close and even with me moving away and back we were still able to pick up) then one day I suddenly found that I was blocked on Facebook. She purposely made it so that it was awkward for everyone else as she didn’t want me invited to anything (she even went so far as to invite my SO out to things and wanted to disclude me after him and I started living together). She would not talk to me. She pulled things like uninviting me to a mutual friend’s pre-wedding events and trying to make sure I was not going to the bachelorette. She then pulled the blocking everyone on Facebook that we knew except for that bride. Long story short no matter how much you try to talk to someone, if they don’t want to talk the best thing is to let it go (as much as it goes against your nature). I feel so sad for you because I know exactly how you feel – it took me well over a year and a half to get over it because there was zero closure and because of the nature of the awkwardness. At least you don’t have to go through the awkwardness. Honestly, you are better off without this person in your life. Even with anything going on in someone’s life to not be there for your wedding … It sucks and I am so sorry that you are going through this. This kind of thing is really like a breakup without closure. Sorry I don’t have anything that will be of use to you *hugs*. If you want to talk to someone feel free to PM me.

Post # 7
Member
2790 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: March 1996

@Sevyn:  Maybe try thinking of it this way: Clearly, she is seriously unbalanced in some way. You do not WANT an unbalanced, unpredictable at your pre-wedding parties, at your ceremony, or at your reception. Your wedding will be better without her there. It’s too bad, and I’m sorry you’re going through this, but she could be unpredictable and AT YOUR EVENTS, behaving in COMPLETELY UNPREDICTABLE WAYS.

Post # 8
Member
67 posts
Worker bee

I can understand being upset, but “devastated” seems dramatic. Having your SO die, or losing a close friend, or becoming paralyzed would be devastating. Having an unstable girl ditch your wedding and finding out 3 weeks in advance, is not devastating. I mention this because it’s important not to further upset ourselves by using really dramatic language to describe our experiences. It really is easier to function if we’re realistic about what we’re facing. Anyway, at least you found out 3 weeks in advance. By the time your wedding rolls around, you’ll be used to the new arrangement of her not being there. 

Post # 9
Member
8044 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: December 2013

@Sevyn:  This is bizaree. Sorry you’re going through all this crap when it’s supposed to be a fun time.

At least she didn’t make a scene at your wedding or something. At this point I’d just expect them to show up and look pretty. Doesn’t sound like they’re great at doing much else.

Post # 10
Member
842 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: October 2014

@Sevyn:  It sounds like your friend has some mental health problems and if she’s gone off her medication then you should be more worried about her, not your wedding. Do her family know that she hasn’t been taking her pills? 

 

Post # 11
Member
930 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: July 2015

@myaltarego:  THIS x million.

I have a friend who has just had half her foot amputated.  That is devestating.  

Your friend’s illness will ALWAYS be more important to her than your wedding.  

 

Post # 12
Member
122 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: September 2013

With friends like these, you don’t need enemies.

I read your previous posts about your bridesmaid/MOH issues. Honestly, you should probably count yourself lucky she isn’t talking to you. She sounds like drama + trouble and nothing one would need in a friend.

I’d wish her the best and then keep on with life.

Post # 13
Member
680 posts
Busy bee

Stop trying to sneakily contact her before she resorts to filing restraining orders or something and the drama level escalates even more. I quickly read your other posts, and honestly, something isn’t making sense here. I feel like there’s SOMETHING that must have gone down for all this shit to hit the fan as it is. This is really bizarre behavior on your BMs and MOHs parts for NOTHING to have happened between you all. I’m sorry that you are dealing with this bc it really does suck. However, the best thing to do would be to let her go, forget about her, and move on with your wedding. The more time you spend attempting to contact her and wondering the less you will be enjoying your day with your FI. 

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