Post # 1
Not long ago I posted about a huge falling out I had with a Bridesmaid or Best Man who was also my best friend resulting in me ending our friendship.
Last night I had someone come to me who is still friends with her but I am not close with….we maybe have been around each other twice. Apparently she is having issues with her as well and felt the need to come to me with all the things that my ex BFF was saying about me behind my back. She has been telling other people that she can’t believe my fiance’ would marry “a bitch like her.” She also told people that I wouldn’t hang out with certain people if they were “prettier” than me.
Ummm, what?!? I have no idea why she would say these horrible things about me, especially knowing what I have been through with other females. Which brings me to why I am REALLY devastated.
Years ago I was engaged to a man I thought was the love of my life. I found out a few months before the wedding that he was cheating on me with several women including my best friend at the time. I cut off the engagement and my friendship with that woman.
Now I find out that my ex best friend and bridesmaid that I recently had a falling out sought out the woman who I was best friends with years ago (the one who cheated with my ex-fiance), and has BECOME FRIENDS WITH HER.
What is going on?? Why would someone do this?? She knew all the pain that that woman put me through and she actually sought her out and sparked up a FRIENDSHIP with her. I just don’t get it. I know it sounds incredibly stupid, but some part of me feels like the world is against me. Like these two women plotted this crap just to destroy me.
Just needed to vent. I am devastated.
Post # 3
How old are you guys?
Honestly I can understand why you are hurt because when people do dumb stuff like this I get pretty pissed off too. BUT I say just forget it.
Honestly there is no point in wasting your energy on being devastated about this person. They obviously have some serious self esteem issues.
I know it is easier said then done but I am the type of person that just cuts people from my life if they bring unnecessary drama into it. So I suggest you do the same with this ex friend of yours. And for the other person who is telling you the drama, I personally would have cut her out but if you still want to be friends with her just tell her straight “I don’t really care about my ex friend so please don’t talk about her around me”
Post # 4
It’s possible that she isn’t happy with her own life, and you know how it goes, misery loves company. It’s not right how she’s taking it out on you, but it could very well be that if she isn’t happy, she doesn’t want anyone to be happy. She could also feel a little left behind – like you’re moving on in your life with someone else, and she sees that as taking her friend away from her. Either way, it doesn’t justify her immature behavior, and it’s not worth getting sucked into it. Hold your head high and go on with your life. The best revenge is to be happy!
Post # 5
@tranquility: I did tell her that. I’m not even close with her, she came to me because she felt she “had” to tell me what was going on. I told her thanks but that I didn’t care to hear anymore.
I am in my late 20’s. The other two women are in their mid 30’s so it’s not like we are young high school kids. I got rid of the friendship I had with my Bridesmaid or Best Man because it was too much drama.
I know I should not upset about it, but it’s easier said than done. Words do hurt, and I am only human.
Post # 6
There comes a point in our lifetime where you let certain people go to rid of the toxicity. Honestly I don’t know why she’s doing the things she’s doing; but that person is showing her true colors and is not worth the energy. Let it go. Move on and not worry what others think. There is always going to be some nasty girl that can’t grow up. Don’t surround yourself with all this negativity; you ate letting this effect your life too much. The friendship is over and I’m sorry; but she doesn’t seem worth the work and emotion you have wrapped up in this.
Post # 7
Hugs!! I’m so sorry you’re going through this, but honestly, don’t waste your energy being upset with these girls. They sould petty, judgemental, and just awful in general. You’re better off with your Fiance and people that really care about you. Don’t get sucked into it.
Post # 8
Thanks guys. I do feel really stupid for letting this get to me. Both girls are very immature and petty and I never really felt that I connected with them on the same level, maturity wise. I guess they deserve each other. After all, birds of a feather flock together right? At least I don’t have to worry about the drama anymore.
Post # 9
@MissGreen: this, perfectly said
I know its easier said than done, but I would just move on. Find some friends who are in the same life stage as you, and don’t give these girls another thought. As another poster said, she is probably miserable herself, and wanting likeminded company. You are in a happy place, and she is lashing out
Post # 10
People who act in that manner generally have a fairly low self esteem, and you, my dear, are better than that. Chin up, be glad that burden is out of your life, and hang out with people who are healthier for your overall persepective.
Post # 11
I feel bad for people like this. Both you and her. She is being a bitch and that means her life is pretty sad. And you care too much about what she thinks. Trust me, I don’t know lady who has not had a major falling out with a friend or two and it is sometimes devastating and sometimes not really clear cut (you don’t get along, she said she said and lines get crossed, you grow out of each other’s friendship etc) but in this instance, you DO know why you are no longer friends. LET.IT.GO. Really. And stop surrounding yourself with friends who have big mouths and come to your house to tell you what ‘ex-friend’ is saying about you. Grrr! This other lady was looking for drama and you shouldn’t allow it. As for ex-friend and ex-skank, good riddiance to bad rubbish. Please concentrate on your upcoming fabulous nuptials 🙂
Post # 12
I was not friends with the girl who told me. As I said before, I have only been around her twice in social settings. She contacted me…I don’t surround myself with her. I told her thanks for the info and that I didn’t want to hear anymore.
Post # 13
The best revenge is living well.
If you let these girls get to you of affect your life in a negative way, they have won.
I went back and read some of your previous posts, and you seem very unhappy with a lot of aspects of your life. However, I do not see you making a true effort to overcome any of this negativity. I think you really need to focus on the positive aspects of your life and accomplishing goals that make you feel self worth instead of focusing on the negative aspects of your life, especially your past.
Sorry to sound so harsh. Wedding bee is a wonderful forum which allows us to come and vent about some of life’s circumstances. But is is also a supportive venue that encourages personal growth. There is only so much venting you can do until it becomes a self-fulfilling prophecy.
Post # 14
So much drama. The only way to get past it is to cut people out like cancer. Who has time for it?
Post # 15
@CanAmBride: It’s not that I am unhappy with my life. Sure there are things I would like to change, and yes I have taken proper steps towards that. I ended the friendships with ALL of those girls that caused drama and negativity.
I come to this board simply to vent and get things off of my chest annonymously and to get advice and support from others. I tend to not talk about things like this with people in my life because I don’t want to seem like a downer or cause drama in their lives.
I don’t mean to be a downer on the website. I just came here because I thought I could vent about things that were bothering me. I guess I will be more mindful of that in the future on wedding bee.
Post # 16
@Legallyblondiebride: Don’t feel stupid for letting this get to you; this woman was your best friend! Of course all this stuff that she’s saying and doing is incredibly hurtful and very hard to ignore. I feel for you. Honestly, she sounds like a deeply unhappy person who is just mired in negativity. Cut her out completely, don’t let anyone tell you whatever nonsense she’s saying, and just try to move forward with new friends.