(Closed) Devastated by miscarriage… natural or D&C

posted 7 years ago in Babies
  • poll: If you had a miscarriage, did you have a D&C or natural miscarriage?
    D&C : (16 votes)
    46 %
    Natural : (19 votes)
    54 %
  • Post # 3
    Member
    2313 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: August 2011

    I had a missed miscarriage, where the fetus was not developing but my body had not “realized” yet. The pregnancy was not progressing, but my body was also showing no signs of starting the miscarriage process. My doctor gave me the choice of waiting for it to happen naturally or taking Misoprostol to encourage the body to miscarry. (Essentially, the abortion pill, except the pill was not used to stop development as it had already stopped. It was just offered as a less-invasive option than a D&C). I opted to take the pills and was told what to expect as far as bleeding, but I believe I had a VERY adverse reaction to it because I continued to bleed for 8 WEEKS. The missed miscarriage was very sad but I could have handled it had I not then bled for 8 weeks following the pills. If I had to do it over again, I would have opted to do the D&C, because it would have all been done that day without having to worry about when it would naturally happen or deal with any long term bleeding like I did.

    I’m very sorry. This is a tough thing to go through for anyone.

    Post # 4
    Member
    332 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: February 2010

    So sorry you are going through this!

    I also had a missed miscarriage. At my 12 week apt. we learned that our baby stopped growing at 6 weeks. When given the option of pills or D&C, I decided pills. They said it would give me bad cramps and lots of bleeding. Which it did, but it didn’t work. They said there was a chance that would happen, but I wanted to try anyway. So I got a D&C. It wasn’t painful at all, b/c they put you out. It was very quick.  It was more emotionally painful than anything. Unfortunately that also didn’t work, apparently my placenta wanted to stay in and stuck to my uterus, so I had very heavy bleeding and had to have another D&C. This time my doctor did an ultrasound while doing it to make sure that the wall of my uterus thinned out so she knew that all pregnancy tissue was gone.

    Personally, even knowing that there’s a good chance I had to have a D&C anyway, I would do it the same way again. It could just be my unhealthy thinking, but it helped me to go through some physical pain along with the emotional.

    Post # 5
    Member
    5921 posts
    Bee Keeper
    • Wedding: December 2010

    I don’t have any advice for you, but just wanted to pop in and say that I am so, so sorry for your loss.  I will be sending you lots of warm thoughts and prayers in the coming days.

    Post # 6
    Member
    2695 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: February 2008

    I have nothing helpful to say, but I am so very very sorry.

    Post # 7
    Member
    2022 posts
    Buzzing bee

    I’m so so sorry : (

    Post # 8
    Member
    10714 posts
    Sugar Beekeeper
    • Wedding: June 2012

    I had a natural miscarriage… it’s very scary (I’d do the removal if the choice had arrived but I didn’t know I was pregnant) I bled like I was on my period for 10 weeks with a very heavy bad ending that left me sick and weak. Your in my thoughts!

    Post # 9
    Member
    3866 posts
    Honey bee
    • Wedding: April 2012

    I find it amazing how many women on here have had miscarraiges.  And… I’m one of ’em.  Except like @HappilyEverAfter54:, I didn’t know I was pregnant.

    I had my on-time period, it was just A LOT more miserable than any I’d had before with horrible cramping, then nothing.  The next month, a typical period but I felt “off”.  Then I had another typical cycle (the miserable period was in June, July was normal, so we’re now in August) then two weeks later I was doubled over begging my FI in a text to take me to the ER.  On a Saturday night.  (not something I’ve EVER done, not even when I had pneumonia and could barely breathe.)  I ended up being given an antibiotic for an “infection” in the middle of the week.  I’d been given pain meds and nausea meds that kept me knocked out and did nothing for the actual nausea.  when I was awake, I was miserably.  (I also have a VERY HIGH tolerance for pain…even the ER nurses commented that I should’ve been more miserable than what I was showing.)  After taking the antibiotic for several days, I started bleeding again and suddenly was fine. 

    Moral of the story: when having unusually painful cycles, inform your OB-GYN.  ’cause even though the test is negative, you COULD be pregnant (found THAT out at my last visit when my cycle was over a week late and negative pregnacy tests). 

    Also, even a NATURAL miscarriage may not be complete.  (Again, something I learned AFTER the fact by research online.)  So, even if you miscarry naturally, you MAY still end up needing a D&C, otherwise, you’ll get an infection.  My five is usually a ten for most people, if that gives you an idea of my pain threshold.  (I can say this because I crushed my finger in the door, needed stitches and told my mother -was in high school at the time- I didn’t need to go to the doctor because it felt fine.)

    I’m so so sorry you’re going through this.  (((((HUGS)))))

    Post # 10
    Member
    210 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: May 2011

    First off I am sorry you are dealing with this. But also keep in mind that there is still a heartbeat and until you start bleeding or anything else dont stress about it. Get a second opinion no dr should scare you or upset you. Its normal to be upset and a mess. I am still a mess from my miscarriages. Take your time and dont force your self past anything until you are ready. I blocked out my second one after it happened and it all came crashing down on me 2 days before mothers day when I finally broke down in the drs office.

    I have had 2 miscarriage already this past year. My first one in Aug 2010 at 7 weeks we decided to go with taking mistopristol to help speed things up. That was just bad for me all together. I cramped like crazy to where I was crying and I passed alot of clots. The second one was in March 2011 this time waiting it out not taking any pills. I started spotting on March 6th and on March 20th I woke up with light cramping and passed 2 clots and that was the end of that no bad pain or anything.

    I would say if you end up miscarrying wait it out. I had about 4 drs with the first pregnancy and they all said do not do a D and C because with the scrapping it causes scarring of the uterus which we do not want when trying. During the second miscarriage I had all new drs that said the same thing no D&C either pills or wait it out. I think the reason the first one hurt so bad is because I was forcing my body to do something it wasnt ready to do since I took the pills. The second one I let my body do what it needed to do.

    Yeah it sucked the whole time knowing that here I was carrying my baby that I wouldnt be able to hold one day. But now if I needed to do it all over again I would do the same thing just wait it out.

    Post # 11
    Member
    790 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: September 2010

    So sorry for your loss. I chose to have a D&C at 8.5 weeks and I am so glad that I did. We would choose this option again. The risks of minimal scarring or infection are very very small if your OB is experienced. The pills were not recommended for me since I had never had a baby before and the chance of my cervix dilating and releasing the embryo were not very good. My body showed no signs of rejecting the pregnancy and we were ready to move forward. This is a very difficult choice to make. I am an RN and asked the other RN’s that I work with what they had done and they all chose D&C, this solidified my choice for me. Good luck and take care of yourself

    Post # 12
    Member
    316 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: October 2012

    Nothing helpful to say, although I will say I am extremely sorry for the loss, and you, your hubby, and your family are in my prayers<3

    Post # 13
    Member
    1510 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: October 2013

    I am so sorry, I know how you must feel. About a year ago, I had a miscarriage. I was only a few weeks, I had a natural miscarriage. The pain was unbearable so I had gone to the E.R. and they had given me pain killers (vicodin). Which helped ALOT!!! I felt nothing. Im going to describe the best way I know how without being to graphic. At first it was clumps. Just nasty nasty clumps. That lasted for maybe half a day, then it was slightly heavier then a period, and as the day went on it flowed just like a regular period would. Since my body was “clearing it self out”, a D&C wasnt necessary. Im sorry if this sounds terrible, but its the only way I know how to describe :(. Im not going to tell you its easy to go through, because I would be lying. I was upset at myself, I felt very useless, and ashamed. My fiance got me through it, and to this day, we both cry over what could have been. Im so so so sorry that you are going through this.

    Thoughts and Prayers to you.

    Post # 14
    Member
    642 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: April 2012

    I opted for natural. I was 10 weeks and the down side is you can’t control when it happens. I had a weekend class, Friday afternoon and all day Saturday. Of course I started cramping an hour before the class started and I needed every unit to graduate, the pain was insane so I ended up leaving to be in my own home. Early the next week I went to the Dr to make sure everything was goo, and it turns out I had a cyst rupture, that explains the intense pain. The next weekend I did actually miscarry and had my levels checked to make sure they went back down to zero. It was terrible, especially since emotionally I had to go through it twice. The natural way was better for me for a few reasons, I have to take meds for another few months that I shouldn’t get pregnant on, so it will be a few more months before we can try again and this all happened over a year ago. I also had 7 surgeries the year before and my doctors are trying to do as few invasive procedures as possible. But if you are planning on trying again soon, the D&C might be better for you guys and it might clean out the space making it better for the next pregnancy. What ever you guys decide I hope things go well and I am sorry you have to go though this. It’s really hard and we didn’t tell anyone so I really understand, If you have any other questions you can PM me.

    Post # 15
    Member
    1145 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: October 2000

    I was almost 6 weeks along before I went through m/c a few days after finding out I was pregnant. I bled for about 2 weeks, very heavily the first week with menstrual cramping. No complications or other treatment other than a follow up appt for a checkup. My cramps are normally very bad and this was no better. Often, when I would go to the bathroom there would be clots during the first week and I would just turn  into a sobbing mess. I thought it’s better to do it naturally if possible (emotionally/physically) because then you minimize risk/possibility of invasive scraping which could mess up the wall and future pregnancies but I didn’t do any research on that. I know people who have had multiple D/C and they have no kids still.  I  recommend to go natural to anyone whose doctor is giving them a choice.  *We conceived the first time we tried during my fertility window exactly 3 months from the m/c date. You can PM me too. Praying for you and your little embryo.

    Post # 16
    Member
    194 posts
    Blushing bee
    • Wedding: May 2010

    Ive had two naturally.

    The first at 10 weeks. It was kind of awful but fairly fast, light bleeding 8 pm to 7am, then heavy with cramping from 7 am to 1130 am. Then it was over, it was just like a normal period for the next week or so.

    The second is happening now, I was 5 weeks 2 days.  I have some cramps, but its just like a regular period, maybe a little heavier.

    From what I hear natural is better as you can start trying again sooner, but also with a D&C its just over and done with quickly. *I am no expert as I havent really talked to my doctor about the options as it just happened on its own both times.

    I wish you the best of luck and am sending prayers your way!

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