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Guys can be weird. My friend's SO (now husband) proposed to her and did not tell his roommate beforehand. The roommate was also a pretty good friend from high school. He had to move out when they got engaged too.
I wouldn't make a big deal out of it... My husband had to be talked into calling his own mother when we got engaged, and she is definitely a big part of his life. We didn't call friends until we were ready to ask people to be a part of our celebration.
I don't get it! They have been friends since the 3rd grade, and still talk all the time. He told him last year that he thought he would end up marrying this girl, then nothing else. My DH even went to breakfast with him on Saturday, and called him on Monday! I felt so bad for DH last night, he was really bummed he found out through his sister who saw it on facebook
Maybe the guy is just a macho guy and feels like he shouldn't show "weakness" to his friend by gushing about his engagement? Or maybe he figured his friends wouldn't care? If he is really upset, just have him text or call, saying he heard the news and congratulations! Maybe the friend will open up if he is reassured your husband cares?
My best (female) friend did this, too - and it was to someone she had only been dating for a few months, while my FI and I had been together for 3+ years, and I was (at that point in time) anxiously waiting for the ring. I tried to be happy for her, but I was really irritated that she didn't have the forthought to at least send me a text letting me know. People are strange, sometimes - they just don't think about the consequences of social media.
My FI has been best friends with his 4 buddies since middle school. He mentioned it in passing to one of them (the now Best Man). But other than that he never really mentioned it to any of them! It may be because we live so far from everyone or just because some guys don't talk about that stuff with their friends. They also might have known it was coming as we've been together for 5 years. Who knows why guys do what they do.
I do feel bad for your guy because he was hurt by his friends actions!
It probably wasnt intentional. Alot of people are just facebook obsessed and cant help but post everything. Hope you guys arent to upset try and be happy for your friends, even tho finding out this way is awful. :(
When you first get engaged there's just so many people you have to share the news with...they might have been caught up calling family members, and just posted on FB for friends to find out. I wouldn't take it too hard.
Sometimes facebook is just too fast. I know I told my grandma, who told my aunt who posted "congratulations on your engagement" within two hours of the proposal.
But, I also think guys are just different. There's only so many times you can take telling guys you're engaged only to be followed up with an "I'm sorry", "Your life is over", "She finally wore you down, eh", "oh, you're coming to the dark side" and still be excited about telling people. I agree that your husband should give him a call, and actually be supportive, and they might be able to have a mature, thoughtful conversation about it :)
oh yes i understand that, one of my friends got engaged in the beginning of 2010, and only called a few of the girls in my group and i found out second hand, since that point (when we were all so pissed) every person has had to personally call everyone like right after it happened, I had to hold off my FI from posting something on his FB "well i didn't go to jared but she still said yes.." (yes he really posted that) its tough because you dont want to hurt feelings but i spent my first 45 min of being engaged on the phone squeeling lol
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I just have to get this out, becuase it is really bothering me! Last night, DH and I are sitting at our house, and his sister calls and asks him if he knew that his best friend was engaged. I guess she saw it on facebook. They had gotten engaged the day before and he never bothered to tell my DH, or even that he was thinking about it! My DH was so upset and hurt by it, and I'm still pissed! Just had to vent a little :)