DH cussed out SIL. Long/Rant

posted 3 years ago in Relationships
Post # 3
3769 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: December 1999

@r_hink:  This is a big issue of mine. What drives me nuts is when people will take my pictures save them to their computer and upload them to their FB like they are their own.  First they are mine to share, second I don’t know your friends and don’t want strangers having access to my baby’s picture. Glad your DH stood up to her!

Post # 5
1028 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: April 2015

@r_hink:  I 100% agree with your husband flipping the shit on her. People are EXTREMELY sensitive when it comes to their babies as they very well should be.


I have some adorable picture of myself and a friend’s baby but I send them all to her and said you may post them if you wish but I will not as I respect her position as his mother and what she does/doesn’t want done with her baby in pictures.


It is super disrespectful that she felt her wants/desires trumped those of the PARENTS. Then she had the nerve to lie AND block you guys? WOW! Sounds like you may be better off without her type of drama in your life especially when it comes to your baby. That is and will always be your #1 priority and focus!


ETA: There are some SICK ass people in this world and pedophilia is no joke. Blame on Law & Order:SVU but I am super paranoid about baby pictures and kids taking pics in bath tubs, half dressed. I feel its better to be safe then sorry…


Post # 7
131 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: June 2015

Why on earth is she so motivated to make other people look at these pictures? Does she feel good getting all the likes and the comments on her account? Will she enjoy these pictures more by making strangers look at them than if she just enjoyed them herself? Sounds kind of like she’s looking for attention, and using these baby pictures as her way.

I’ve considered this… and I think the way I’m going to handle this if I have kids soon is to share pictures on Facebook, since I have so much out-of-town family and such, and grandparents will always love seeing the latest pictures. However, I’m going to create a very strict privacy filter so that only the intended audience can see them. Just my family and closest friends – my college roommate doesn’t need weekly photo updates on my baby. I might even consider creating a private group for the pictures, so that others can share “within the circle” as well. I will ask that they not share publicly, though.

If you’re willing to give in at all, that might be a good compromise. Let them share with each other, but make sure it’s not with the general public. Another way to protect your baby’s privacy is to ask that they not name her at all. Random strangers on the internet can’t do anything, really, with pictures of a random kid they can’t identify, and the pictures will never show up in search results. But once you start showing the world what this particular kid’s name is and who their family is, that’s when strangers can start putting together the pieces, and seeing where they live, who they know, etc.


Post # 9
131 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: June 2015

@r_hink:  One way to present the idea to him would be to point out that people REALLY REALLY want to share them, and that if you create a private group, you still have control over it and it’ll be less likely that people do it behind your back, as SIL has done. That will give them a way to share with each other, that still honors your reasons for not posting the pictures publicly – your child’s safety and identity will still be protected from the general public. Everyone kind of wins.

Just out of curiosity, what exactly are his reasons for not wanting the pictures online? I would hope that he’d be open to an alternate solution, as long as all his goals are still met.

Post # 11
5697 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: August 2012

“I’m the aunt so I have a right to share!”

uh… actually no, you don’t. You’re the AUNT.

Post # 13
2782 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: November 2013

@ieatunicorns:  I agree- that can be annoying, but my advice would be- with technology these days, if it’s your photo and you don’t want it shared, don’t share it with anyone.  While I don’t agree with it, you can save anyone’s photo off of FB.  Even though I don’t like it- it’s not secret.  

Post # 15
2474 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: September 2012

@MrsEME:  +1

While I understand that your wishes were totally broken, I think you guys are forgetting that people are SUPER EXCITED for you!! Just sounds like SIL is overzealous… and is trying to live through you guys a little.

Why not make a closed FB group and invite ONLY family, so that ONLY they can see photos of the little one? I have to say I would find it rude not to get to see what my new little nephew/niece looks like. You guys could even email pictures out or something. 

Post # 16
989 posts
Busy bee

@r_hink:  Proud Aunty here to a beautiful little boy! My sister and BIL also don’t have photos of my nephew on FB, nor want anyone else to post them, and that’s totally fine (they do put some photos on Instagram but have private profiles so only people they choose can see them. It is much more private than FB, where you really have limited control on who sees what – other people you’re not friends with can see comments on photos). I am very cautious about what I post on FB – even if it’s a picture of me with someone’s pet, I ALWAYS ask permission first.

What SIL did was blatantly disrespectful. She doesn’t have extra rights because she is the aunt – what the parents say is final. I can totally understand not wanting a baby’s picture plastered all over the internet, it’s about protecting the innocents who don’t have a voice, because not having pictures on there means you have control of the hands they end up in. I would be mad as hell that she feels it’s her right to share photos of your baby with anyone she pleases, especially when she was given strict instructions not to.

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