- Blog
- Bios
- Boards
- Classifieds
- DIY
- Gallery
- Vendor Reviews
- Shop Weddingbee
Weddingbee boards
I'm sorry!
I can't believe that he would invite 3 people over without asking you first!
You need to talk to him.
A couple of things...FI and I had an issue like this when he promised FMIL that we would spend Christmas with her...decide as of NOW that you won't promise holidays to anyone. Ever.
Ok, next:Thanksgiving. Be honest with DH and tell him that you really wanted to cook the meal yourself and that you feel uncomfortable with the way the house is. He knows his family best, so maybe he knows just how to remedy the situation. If that doesn't work and the family's set on coming...tell them how you feel! Sell SMIL that you're so excited to host her in your home and you'd really like for her to relax while she's there and let you do the cooking. OR, who knows...you all could bond in the kitchen. I think you can always use the "being in a new house...I'm just not up for guests yet" excuse. They should understand.
Hope that helps! Congrats on the new house!
Just call them and tell them the truth, that you would love to have them over, but your FI underestimated your ability to clean and unpack an entire house worth of stuff, and cook on top of it. Tell them you'll be so happy to host next year and you would like them to come over for a meal at some point in the near future, but Thanksgiving will just not work... Anyone in there right mind could understand that.
I would be careful how you do that because you risk hurting a lot of people's feelings!
I would explain to your hubby about the house situations...he should be willing to either talk to his parents, OR help you get the house in as much order as you can by Thanksgiving.
[along that line...I think sometimes houses will never quite be in order ( we have almost completely empty walls in every room of our house because it's taking so long--and so much money to find things we like!)]
Are you more worried about the house or about cooking? If you're more worried about the house being in order, I would say do your best--I doubt anyone will be too critical of it.
If you're worried about the cooking...here's the question: Will you two be able to spend Thanksgiving alone, or if it's not at your house, will it be at your IL's? It sounds like you might not be cooking either way, so maybe chat ahead of time with your MIL and decide on the menu? I can't imagine cooking the entire thanksgiving spread alone. My MIL and I are going to split up the duties somewhat at least.
If you really want to do Thanksgiving just to the two of you, why don't you schedule a less elaborate dinner with them another time, to soften to "uninvite" blow.
He probably really wanted to show off the new house and all. I think it's a compliment to you and your skills, of course I could be wrong and maybe he didn't think about any of that. I'd talk to him. I think they would understand if the house is not all together by then.
Eek. I like LatteLove's advice. I'd suggest first talking this over with your husband. Maybe if they come, you can share in the cooking. Maybe SMIL wants a day off, or they can come for an hour before the meal is served and you can have the day to cook. You can ask her to bring a certain dish.
I know it's nice to cook your own Thanksgiving, but this might work out,. You deserve a say in what happens! Please let us know what you end up doing.
Thanks for the advice y'all! I talked to DH about the house being messy and he asked if that was the only thing I was worried about. Which of course it's not. I think he's set on them coming to visit (they live out of state). So I'm just going to tell him we need to unpack the house as much as possible beforehand.
Also, I think I'm going to suck it up and let his SM help cook. You're right LatteLove, that is a lot to do by myself. And maybe I can get some good tips/tricks/recipes while she's there.
Do you think that I need to extend an invite to my parents as well? I think it might hurt their feelings that his parents got the first holiday.
I think it would be great to also invite your parents. If your family is anything like mine, maybe they'll bring a dish or two to take some of the cooking load off of you. And I would tell your husband that since he invited people without talking to you first, he better get moving on helping you unpack! LOL
Awww I'm sorry about this! Have you talked to him about it? Sounds like it would be a lot of extra stress to have company over when you just wanted to cook the meal yourself. I hope that it all works out for you!!
PS: What does DH stand for??
Definitely invite your parents, I think it would be lovely to have everyone there. For our first Christmas in our new house we did the same thing. I didn't care about cooking the whole meal myself (that would be a great way to make sure I spent the day panicking) - I seem to remember FMIL did nibbles, my parents brought drinks and a salad, and my sisters brought dessert. I did the main meal (2 courses), that plus making the house beautiful (we'd been in it less than a month too!) was plenty to keep me occupied all day. It was a nice day and a good way for everyone to get to know each other! However, fi and I agreed together to do this - good time for a conversation re inviting people over without asking the other person first :)
You must log in to post.
| Visit our sister sites | eHarmony Online Dating |
eHarmony Advice Dating Advice |
Project Wedding Wedding Songs |
JustMommies Pregnancy Calendar |
Create the honeymoon of your dreams.
Sorry, there are no users yet.
Sorry, there are no users yet.
Beekeeper
We just moved in to a new house yesterday. And by moved in, I mean we have a house full of boxes and NOTHING is unpacked at all. FI decided to invite his parents and cousin to Thanksgiving dinner! I am freaking out. I don't think the house will be ready, AND I really wanted to cook the meal MYSELF for the first time this year! With my SMIL here, that won't happen since she's a GREAT chef and used to run a restaurant. How do I tell him (and thus them) that I don't want them to visit just yet?