- 6 years ago
- Wedding: November 2011
Mostly a vent from my bed for the night on the couch, but advice is greatly appreciated.
DH and I have lived together almost a year now, marriend since June 🙂 We moved into our new place a month ago, and since I’m not working for the next year, I’ve been noticing stuff around the house alot more. We decided to split up chores, somewhat evenly (I will be in college full time, he is disabled and doens’t work). So I cook, do the floors, beds, fold laundry and general pick ups. He does the bathroom, dishes, washes laundry, and takes out the trash. With only two people in a 700sqft apartment, it’s not like we spend all our time on chores. But every time I turn around, whatever job he did last is half done, and he’s sitting on the couch because he’s tired! I’m talking stuff like food left on dishes after they are washed (yuck), garbage on the kitchen floor, food on the top of the stove, only the sink swiped out in the bathroom, and stuff like that. So it’s not that he’s not doing things, he’s just not doing 100%, and he’s 100% ok with that.
My DH has schizophrenia, but it’s controlled by meds. He plays the “i’m sick” card as much as possible though, and if I get upset, he goes on this “my parents never treated me like this” kick – like they are perfect, and I’m the evil stepmother. I don’t know how many times I’ve showed him how to clean the coffeemaker (example) but he says he can’t remember the steps – it’s too complicated (3 steps). Nor can he remember to unball his socks when he puts them in the laundry.
Another issue, due to his heavy doses of meds, is his health. His triglycerides and glucose are through the ceiling, and he is obese. He has to lose weight, ASAP. And so do I. So I came up with simple ways that we could modify our eating to get started on weight loss. One was to cut out carb loaded snacking throughout the day. Well, today after church, we were at the farmers market. I was buying veggies. He only wanted donuts and pizza, and got upset when I said no (I had all the cash on me). Once we got home, until bed, he managed to have six cups of honey rice puffs for snacks, plus a quart of milk, on top of 2 servings of tuna noodle casserole for dinner! Yet he thinks he is eating healthy because nothing was fried – that’s his families definition of healthy.
Ugh Ugh Ugh. If you got through this, thanks, and I’m sorry 🙁 Anyways, any advice? I know I need to get off the couch and back in bed. Writing this actually helped some. But I need to figure out how to not feel bat$hit crazy about this.