DH is frustrating me. Am I over reacting?

posted 3 years ago in Married Life
Post # 3
Member
1349 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: December 2012

@jessmex12:  I don’t think you’re being selfish.  I think you just need to find out why he’s not motivated.  Maybe there are deep rooted reasons like he’s afraid, etc.  I’d try having a sit down with him where you stay calm and don’t accuse, just try to get to the bottom of what is going on.  Good luck!

Post # 4
Member
373 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: August 2013

@jessmex12:  ughhh, I went through this with DH. He’d gone back to school for a new degree and after he graduated and needed to find a job in his new field, he procrastinated like no other! We needed the money and I would go to work and leave him home every day, thinking he would be job hunting as much as possible. It just didn’t happen. I helped him with his résumé and did what you are doing, helped him look and apply online. I can’t really tell you why my DH wasn’t more motivated, I think it was just that he somehow thought a job would “fall into his lap” and that he wouldn’t actually have to seek one out. He did end up finding a job, but I just can’t relate. When I need a job, I apply to anything and everything nonstop. 

Post # 5
Member
3016 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: July 2014 - Prague

He’s probably slightly panicking inside. I would be. I absolutely HATE job hunting, so I’d be very stressed about the whole thing. And having someone being really rational and motivated would put me in a bad mood. I know it’s stupid, but I definitely can imagine that your DH might be feeling like that. I know that doesn’t help the situation, but I’d give him some space.

Maybe schedule a time to sort of formally meet with DH with the agenda set for “next steps” and whatever else. 

 

Post # 6
Member
468 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: June 2013

@jessmex12:  

I am sorry for your husband’s job loss. You say he has three to five months left before he loses it, so he probably feels he has some time to look.

I would just ask, do you have faith in your husband to do the right things overall? If you do, I think you can trust he will make a good decision in time for that new job.

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