- 5 years ago
- Wedding: May 2011
I’m feeling pretty overwhelmed and discouraged right now. So, this may come off more like a vent/rant.
Depressed Darling Husband lost P/T job, wants to go back to school for Nursing, but doesn’t know why or how we’ll pay for it. I may have to stay at my office job longer than planned & put my dreams of Grad. school on hold…
Yesterday, my husband found out his boss is retiring, so he’ll lose his part-time, 20 hr/ week job in 2 months.
He finished all the pre-requisites in school for Nursing, except for the 3 Biology classes. He took the 1st level Biology TWICE, and withdrew. He wasn’t the best student. He re-took about 10 classes to get his GPA to a 2.75.
So, 2 years ago, he stopped going to school, saying he would get a 2nd job to save money. He didn’t. He said he didn’t want to just take any job. And that he was being “picky.”
Meanwhile, I’ve been working FT for 3 years. I saved enough money to pay for my tuition for the pre-requisites I need for Graduate school. I also saved enough to cover living expenses during the semester when I can’t work because it’s so intensive. I’ve been counting down the months to when I could quit my job.
Now that he’s been laid off, I don’t know what I’m going to do. My income is enough to pay our monthly expenses, but not to save enough to quit my job when I wanted to.
I feel like my goals & dreams keep getting pushed back further and further. I feel like Darling Husband is HOLDING ME BACK. I want to finish school before I’m too old to have kids!
Now he wants to go back to school for Nursing! But, we don’t have the money for it, he can’t even tell me WHY he wants to be a Nurse (other than money), & he hasn’t proved capable of getting the degree. He started a degree in Comp Sci, but withdrew without any credits. I paid off the student loan.
**Of course, I don’t tell him this. I’ve tried to be supportive, and not nag as much.
But, I can’t put all the blame on him. I believe he has DEPRESSION (or some other mental disorder), and that he’s had it our entire 6-year relationship. I didn’t recognize it before, because he hid it with his temper, and by acting so easy going.
A couple of weeks ago, he told me he was having suicidal thoughts (wondering about taking pills). I panicked, and considered calling someone to pick him up & watch him, but I don’t think he would trust me ever again. I kept asking if he was okay, and he said, “THIS IS WHY I DON’T TELL YOU WHAT I’M FEELING.”
I need to get him to get help. The cost of therapy is stressing me out too, but it’s necessary. He’s wavered between resolutely refusing & considering. I guess a psych office opened next to a work & he said he considered making an appointment. So, there’s hope I guess…