DH or Wife ONLY finding out sex of baby – would you do it?

posted 3 years ago in Pregnancy
Post # 3
Member
979 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: September 2010

DH wants to be team green but I want to know– I don’t think I could keep it a secret.

I think you have just as much a right to know as your DH doesn’t want to know, so I’d go for it!

Post # 4
Member
979 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: September 2010

But, I would probably tell your DH that you do know, but that you will keep it a secret.

Post # 5
Member
6000 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: October 2013

I would have a hard time buying gender neutral things if I knew the sex of the baby. (It would be hard to buy yellows and greens when I know I could be buying pinks or blues). I would probably slip up and say something like “I can’t wait to see him/her”

Post # 7
Member
2063 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: February 2014

I would talk to him about how you’re feeling. I don’t think I could ever keep a secret like that from my husband! And you might feel really guilty afterwards. Let me know you’re considering finding out and see if he is okay with that… who knows, he might be anxious to find out too! or he might be totally okay with you knowing, as long as he doesn’t know!

 

Edit: Let HIM know, not me. you already let me know with this post ; )

 

Post # 8
Member
1021 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: January 2010

I think your DH needs to know how you’re feeling. This is much deeper than “he doesn’t want to know and I do.” There are some legitimate concerns that your DH should be supportive of (connecting with the pregnancy…etc).

Hopefully by talking to him and laying out your reasons for wanting to know, you can come to a compromise without having to hide the fact that you know from him.

P.S. I’m Team Green, and if I knew the gender at all, it would be VERY hard for me to keep it 100% secret. I would be so tempted to buy an adorable gender-specific outfit or would accidently refer to it as a gender in conversation. It would all be subconscious, but I know it would slip out eventually.

Post # 9
Member
1286 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: October 2011

I would have a hard time not starting to refer to the baby as “him” or “her”. It would be too easy to slip up.

Post # 10
Member
2973 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: May 2014

@MadTownGirl:  I totally get how you feel. If I wanted to know the sex, but DH didn’t – I would explain to him that it’s unfair that I stay in the dark when I want to know but I wouldn’t ask that he find out because that would be unfair too. 

So, no I wouldn’t keep it a secret that I know what the baby is, but I wouldn’t tell him what the baby is to respect his wishes. Does that make sense? 😛

I would ask if it’s OK with my husband knowing that I know before I go and find out…if that makes sense haha. I am confusing myself. 

Post # 11
Member
1057 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: August 2013

I think you should talk with him about it. Let him know that you’re having a difficult time connecting with the pregnancy. If he doesn’t come around, put your foot down and remind him that you’re carrying the baby, so at the end of the day what you say goes!

Post # 12
Member
1437 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: September 2012

As someone who is 25 weeks along I would find out if I were you. I don’t think it makes you a bad wife. I would be dying to know too!

Post # 14
Member
7262 posts
Busy Beekeeper
  • Wedding: February 2013

I wouldn’t find out secretly. I feel like that’s deceitful. I would talk to him about how you want to know the sex, but that doesn’t mean he has to. I’m going to be honest, it seems almost impossible to not have a slip and refer to the baby as “s/he or him/her” after you know the sex.

Post # 15
Member
1535 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: June 2012

I couldn’t do it because I couldn’t keep my mouth shut.  If you are good at keeping secrets, and your husband doesn’t mind, I don’t see a problem with it.

Post # 16
Member
330 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: September 2009

I wouldn’t find out secretly either (although I’m not going to lie, the thought crossed my mind!!!). Now, I can’t wait for that moment when we find out together. I will also say it was a LOT harder to not find out in the beginning (weeks 14-22 I was dying to know). Now that I’m 33 weeks, I’m so glad I waited. I feel like it will be such a great bonding experience for us as a family. Have you felt baby kick yet? I think that really helped me feel connected to our baby.

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