DH told me last night he wants to seperate

posted 2 years ago in Emotional
Post # 2
Member
2428 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: May 2014

I’m so sorry.

Post # 3
Member
17 posts
Newbee

Awe, I am soo sorry! You handled it way better then I ever could. Stay strong it will all work out in the end.

Post # 4
Member
1765 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: August 2014

Oh no hugs I’m sorry.

Post # 5
Member
5222 posts
Bee Keeper

I am sorry to hear this, I remember you posting before that you two were trying to work through some things. 

There’s probably not much anyone can say to make you feel better, but don’t worry about being divorced at 25. Seriously, you are still very young and have a lot of life left to live. Give yourself time to heal, process this, be angry/sad/happy/scared… and keep active and busy. Lean a lot on family, friends or people in this community. 

Post # 6
Member
2661 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: May 2014

I am so sorry. 

Post # 7
Member
1302 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: October 2015

*hugs*. i’m really sorry. talk to us if you need to. 

Post # 8
Member
42460 posts
Honey Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 1999

dannielle89:  It can be a scary time. I remember being scared to death when I left my first husband with two children. I had not worked outside the home since shortly after we married.

You say you don’t work full time. Do you work part time? What skills do you have? Can you leverage that part time job into full time or get another part-time job?

There will be a lot fo difficult moments but you will survive.

Post # 9
Member
4147 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: October 2011

oh my goodness, I’m so sorry.  It sounds like you guys will still be on good terms though, which seems to be the best possible way to divorce.  Are either of you open to just a seperation for nowl?  Perhaps you need some time apart, instead of getting a divorce right away?

Post # 10
Member
681 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: September 2013

I am so sorry to hear this!  I can imagine how hard it is to “start over”.  Try to hold on to the hope that at 25, you still have so much to look forward to in life, and there are so many opportunities for finding someone new.  

Also, best of luck on continuing to heal yourself personally, continuing to go to counselling will be a huge help.

Post # 11
Member
339 posts
Helper bee

It doesn’t seem like it now, but there are worse things in life.  I thought my life was over when I divorced at a young age. I thought my life was over, that I would be branded a divorcee forever and no one would ever want to date me.  I had a rough few months, but I promise it does get better.  I was very lucky to find some very good friends through that time.

I am very sorry for what you are going through.

Post # 12
Member
76 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: October 2020

dannielle89:  Hugs.  25 is still young and you will eventually not be anxious and sad anymore, you will be stronger and wiser!

Post # 13
Member
184 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: August 2013

dannielle89:  is divorce really the only option? Would he consider a trial separation? I am not sure exactly what issues have put you into counseling and on meds, but as someone with mental health issues of my own, I can assure you that one month (or two, or three or even six) isn’t enough time to allow for significant growth or improvement. I would suggest talking more with your DH about giving each of you time apart to work on yourselves and then speak about a possible divorce or reconciliation. 

Good luck, Bee!

Post # 14
Member
2455 posts
Buzzing bee

dannielle89:  I’m so sorry! I’m your age as well and have been with my FI for 9 years, getting married next year. I can’t imagine the heartbreak you’re feeling. Don’t worry about the divorce thing, personally I know people divorced at 20 and that doesn’t matter.

Honestly I think you both are handling it well. You’re having mature and calm discussion that are very emotional. It’d be way too easy to get heated and it seems like you both kept cool heads.

It’s one thing to jump into a relationship, get married for the wedding, and end up divorced because you never took the time to really decide if you wanted to be with each other. It is quite another to have the self awareness to realize you’ve grown apart and are different people now who want different thing.

Unfortunately I think the latter makes it so much more difficult 🙁

Best wishes!

Post # 15
Hostess
8680 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: October 2014

I’m so sorry you are having to go through this. But at 25, you’re still so young! You have so much life and vibrance ahead of you!

I have not experianced divorce first hand, but my best friend from high school [we aren’t super close anymore, but we remain in contact] married her highschool sweetheart, they were divorced 3 years later. She was right around your age and she is doing so great. She finally realized what real happiness is and she has found herself a new love – she is like a totally new girl and I am so happy for her.

You will find a new meaning in life, it will be different, but it won’t be BAD. Hang in there!

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