DH woke up screaming in the middle of the night.

posted 1 week ago in Wellness
Post # 16
Member
31 posts
Newbee
  • Wedding: September 2018

I don’t have PTSD but do frequently have very vivid dreams. I used to sleep-walk, and sit upright in bed for no reason, until my mid-20s, but as far as I know I don’t do that anymore.

But I have had several bouts of sleep paralysis in the last few years, which are terrifying. I woke up from the first one of those literally screaming. If you haven’t heard of it, it’s where your brain wakes up but your body is still asleep, so you are conscious but can’t move. The first time it happened, I would have sworn in court that there was someone standing over my bed about to attack me. I could SEE them. Apparently sleep paralysis isn’t that uncommon, and if it happens to you then hallucinations are also extremely common. The wiki page is quite interesting.

It doesn’t scare me anymore when it happens, because when I realise that I can’t move I know what it is and know that it will pass.

Post # 17
Member
416 posts
Helper bee

I mumble and talk in my sleep. I also have conversations with DH when I’m asleep and I’m extra touchy with him. The next morning when he tells me I’m always “I did what??!”. 

DH usually just snores but the other night he was laughing in his sleep and that was adorable. 

Regarding your husband – if it’s not something that happens often I wouldn’t worry too much about it. 

Post # 19
Member
4491 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: August 2015

bee123456789 :  He’s trying to play it off like it’s no big deal and that he “can’t” get PTSD because he wasn’t on the front lines…..but this DOES sound like PTSD, and it is something to take very, very, very seriously.

My husband is a veteran but his active duty was on a submarine, so definitely not in the front lines.  This past weekend though he had a dream — a vivid dream — about being back on the submarine and it very obviously left him distraught.  I asked him about it and he wouldn’t explain much besides “I was back on the submarine”.  He was very shaken.

Get your husband to a doctor.  There is no shame in PTSD, and people know a heck of a lot more about it now than they used to.  A VA medical center would likely have therapists he could talk to with military backgrounds and who have been where he’s been.  Sometimes that breaks the stigma of talking to a therapist, when it’s a guy who is a veteran and gets it.

Post # 20
Member
1309 posts
Bumble bee

Yes my FH has PTSD from his years of service. It’s pretty normal in our house. My FH was in and out of combat for almost the whole of his 25 years in the military. 

I normally have a pretty good idea when it’s coming. Certain dates where he lost people in combat, it’s pretty much a guarantee. I keep track of when they happen, because he doesn’t always wake up. He doesn’t call his nightmares his are flashbacks, it feels like he’s back there reliving it. If he takes Ativan he doesn’t have them, but he hates how he feels after sleeping. Bad days he has to take one, or he sleeps like crap.

I learned I can’t touch him when it’s happening. I normally try to get off the bed as quick as possible. He’s a big man and he has gotten me once in his sleep when I didn’t realize, very early in our relationship. 

Post # 21
Member
183 posts
Blushing bee

bee123456789 :  I have never talked in my sleep but just recently I had a nightmare so fierce that I screamed out and jumped in my sleep. I woke DH and he was beyond terrified. I was honestly freaked out myself, the dream was just so real & terrifying. That’s the first time in 35 years it’s ever happened though. I wouldn’t worry too much unless you feel unsafe yourself, or you think he might escalate to sleep walking. My friend’s bro has night terrors, he takes meds b/c he was found walking down street in his boxers once. No recollection.

Post # 22
Member
5322 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: June 2015

bee123456789 :  well my husband hasn’t been that bad but ever since we had our baby, when I wake him in the dead of the night he starts talking work-speak to me.  I usually don’t remember by morning, but last night it was something about how “all the graphs connect” which about a half hour later he swore was an intentional conversation and the next morning he didn’t remember at all.  Also once he leapt up in the night and his heel went right through our wall, between studs (bed super close to wall).  He complained after that his foot hurt but we thought he’d just bruised it until we got up the next day.

He says I have to own up to my own problems too.  So once out camping a bird was sounding off in the wee hours of the morning.  In my head, this was the sound occurring every time a case manager changed the pages on an IEP document.  I woke up saying “what if all IEPs sounded like that?” which was enormously confusing to my husband and I swore was 100% logical until I woke completely; he teases me about it to this day (among other things)

The screaming husband would have terrified me in the moment though and I doubt I’d go back to sleep anytime soon that night.  I jump-scare when the dog barks in the night if I’m sleeping soundly when it happens.

Post # 23
Member
359 posts
Helper bee

I suffer from night terrors. Night terrors are not nightmares, when I have a night terror i often can see my bedroom and start hallucinating and can see things in my room. More often than not it’s a person who i see in the room who will hurt me, sometimes it’s that the wall is falling on me, othertimes I think an animal is under the bed. When it happens I tend to thrash myself around or I sit bolt up right, eyes open and scream. 

Sometimes I get out of bed and just run. I’ve come round to my senses being stood up in the living room a few times. Sometimes I jump over my SO (this is my SO’s favourite one, as you can imagine – not only do I do it in a quick panicky way…but he also wonders why if it’s because I wake up and see someone at my bedside why I don’t give a shit about my SO and only try and save myself  haha).

If it’s because the wall is falling on me I will scream ‘help me’ and my SO will wake up to see me holding the wall up….yep.

If I’ve seen an animal or something he will wake up and say ‘what the hell are you doing?’ As at 3am I am looking under the bed saying ‘I saw it. It’s here somewhere’.

It all depends on how stressed I am as to how frequent they are. I have been known to have 3 the same night, but sometimes a few weeks can pass without anything. I have seen a doctor and there isn’t a lot they can do really. 

If this is what your SO had I would recommend these steps:-

– make sure your SO tries to go to bed without thinking of what it is he is stressed about. Maybe read before he falls asleep

– if he has a night terror turn the light on for him. This is the quickest way my SO wakes me up and helps me to see I’m dreaming and there is nothing in the room 

– don’t freak out. Stay calm for him. The first few times , naturally, my SO freaked out and that in turn made me worse. Now he stays calm and puts the light on. He has also learnt not to tell me that there’s nothing there…because in my half asleep state I get really defensive and I am adamant there is something there. 

Strange sleep activity is actually more common than people think…hence why so many people have replied to this thread.

sometimes it’s not necessarily a scary night terror…but I once shouted to my partner ‘SPOONS. NOW. CHOOSE ONE!’…he was so confused and said ‘what?’ And I said ‘oh forget it’…and rolled over like I was in a huff with him. Still have no idea what that was about  

I have to say, anyone who is in a relationship with someone who regularly wakes up and screams need a medal. I don’t know how my SO does it.  

Post # 24
Member
1375 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: July 2015

My husband sometimes randomly sits up in his sleep and yells dramatic stuff like “The house is on fire!”  or “There is a huge spider on your face!”  Obviously, I wake up in a panic, and then he just goes right back to sleep and I am left sitting there with my heart racing.  I know it isn’t his fault, but oh my gosh it is irritating.  It is most frequent when he has been traveling overseas for work and has jet lag, for some reason.

Post # 25
Member
2058 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: June 2017

bee123456789 :  a lot of people talk in their sleep. It’s not something to worry about unless it’s becomes so regular that it’s disruptive (to him or to you) or it escalates to violence (VERY rare)

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