DH won't communicate about sex

posted 3 years ago in Intimacy
Post # 3
524 posts
Busy bee

Sounds like some major communication issues taking place. Do you think he might be depressed?

Post # 4
11772 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: May 2013

@MsBlackberry:  I’ve DEFINITELY had guys do this to me before! Say that it was my fault we were having less sex when it was their declining, early 30s sex drive.

I am ALWAYS up for sex. Always. On my period, with broken bones, whatever. I’m DTF. But I’ve definitely sat down with a homework assignment, had a guy say “Well I WANTED to have sex, but now you’re doing homework and too busy!” And when I replied “No, I’d rather have sex” They ALWAYS went “No! You’re busy. You suck.”

It’s definitely a male pride thing.

Post # 5
6173 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: October 2013

what bcp are you on? I was on various bcp over the course of 15 years and it never effected my sex drive.  call your gyn and see if you can change your pill.

Post # 8
201 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: July 2013

@BrandNewBride:  LOL, me too.

@MsBlackberry:  If I were in your situation, I’d make a list of the points I wanted to get across to my DH. When you guys are in a happy place, try bringing it up, gently. Explain to him you’ve been stressed, etc. Also, I’ve personally dealt with the lube issue – you just have to make it sexy. Not like, “Crap, I’m dry, grab the lube!” Like, use the lube on him first, then on yourself, make it sexual. (I feel weird writing this, but it works.) If he complains, just use it on him some more, and see if he’s still complaining.

Also, maybe he’s stressed and that’s contributing? Along with male pride… that’s a biggie.

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