DH won't let me get a part-time job…

posted 3 years ago in Emotional
Post # 3
Member
774 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: September 2014

@becca83:  I don’t understand what his objection is. Just that you won’t get much more money? There are obviously things that need to get paid off and if taking on some extra work would help alleviate that stress, I think it’s a great idea. Is there something else going on within your relationship? Do you keep your money separate or is it a joint account so he can help with some of these expenses?

Post # 4
Member
13021 posts
Honey Beekeeper
  • Wedding: June 2011

Unless he’s tying you down in the house, I’m not sure how he could not “let” you do something like get a part time job for a bit if it would make you feel better about the bills.  It’s not like you are quitting your job or reducing hours, something that would HURT the both of you.  Pretty ridiculous imo.

Post # 5
Member
225 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: April 2014

I’ve been there.  Working full-time and then having a part-time job serving tables on weekends and evenings.  It stressed me out!  I didn’t have any time to devote to my relationships, hobbies, or myself.  I was so obsessed with making money to pay off my past medical bills that I ended up not taking care of myself by eating badly, lack of sleep, and constantly stressing.  

MOST part-time work is minimum-wage or plus-tips only with no healthcare or other fringe benefits. 

It’s not worth it! 

Post # 6
Member
9137 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 2013 - St. Augustine Beach, FL

@becca83:  Other than it not being enough money, what reasons did he give?  I wouldn’t like for my spouse to pick up an extra job on the weekends because it would cut into the time we get to spend together.

Are you getting any money back on taxes and can you put that towards your medical bills so they are less of a worry?  Once you’re married your medical bills become “our medical bills”.  What is his plan for paying them off?  Can he take pay more of the other bills so you can use more of your money to pay on those medical bills?  Is he willing to make additional payments towards those bills for you?  I think the conversation you need to be having is about how to deal with the medical bills as a married couple rather than you being the only one responsible for them.  If he’s not willing to help pay for them or restructure your bills so you can put more money towards them, then taking a part time job temporarily sounds like a great idea.

Post # 7
Member
6048 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: March 2012

Money is money.  You don’t have that much in med bills where it would take forever to pay it off.  Plus if you get a PT job at a Dept Store they give you discounts on clothes.  I’m thinking about getting a PT job also, just to bank some.  It’s not unheard of to work that much, I’ve done it before. 

Post # 11
Member
1463 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: August 2012

Wow, “stuck” with his kid?  He’s the dad for cripe’s sake. 

Post # 12
Member
968 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: June 2013

@becca83:  “Stuck” with his kid? Upset about your medical bills? Gee, he sounds delightful! That sucks.

Post # 15
Member
9949 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: June 2013

How is he preventing you from doing this?

Post # 16
Member
968 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: June 2013

@becca83:  Have you asked him? I don’t think that’s fair of him but especially if he won’t even tell you that. Maybe they could find something to do together that he enjoys? I don’t know how old your son is, but it’s just a thought..

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