DHs father is truly the lowest of the low

posted 3 years ago in Family
Post # 4
3047 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: August 2013

I’m so so sorry that your SIL’s FI didn’t make it, I’ve been thinking about them, hoping that he would manage to pull through.

As for your husbands dad, people sometimes act weird when they’re going through a hard time. However, from your post it sounds like he has a track record of similar let downs. I understand that it must hurt your husband, but perhaps this is an eyeopener that makes him realize that he’s just setting himself up for more disappointment by trying to keep up a relationship.

Post # 5
2571 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: November 2013

Sounds like your husband’s dad and my dad = cut from the same cloth.  I am so sorry your husband got dealt a crap father, nothing else to offer but hugs from me.

Post # 7
4576 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: September 2014

@Weetzie:  Sounds *JUST* like my mother, who opted not to attend her father OR mothers funeral.

For her fathers, she requested off of work for a few days but didnt attend…she then contacted my aunt a few days after asking for a copy of the death certificate or obituary. When my aunt asked why, my mother said “because I told work that’s where I was.”

For her mothers in July, she demanded my BF and I drive an hour south to pick her up, then an hour back north the way we came plus the actual 4 hours it takes to get there. When we told her if she wanted to ride with us she’d need to meet us at our place, she refused to go. When people asked her why she didnt attend, she told them her daughter wouldnt give her a ride.

Post # 8
2562 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: March 2014

I am so sorry for your loss – especially for your SIL. My heart is breaking for her.

It’s good to hear that you’re putting your foot down for family. Your husband’s feelings are too important to be tossed to the side by a man who doesn’t care.
I hope your husband can keep his father at arm’s length, it really sounds like that would be best for him (hard, but may make life a little easier). He doesn’t have to cut him out completely, but maybe just not invest so much into him, emotionally.

Post # 9
1482 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: September 2013 - Creek club at ion, SC

@Weetzie: I dont think your wrong at all BUT your DH has to let this man go by himself and not because you said so. 

I feel the same way about my father who my brother insists on having a relationship with. However me and my mum have learnt that if you dont let him learn for himself, the resentment falls back on you. 

Its difficult, I know!!! And you just want to rescue them but you cant, all you can do is talk to them and try and make them see sense.

Post # 10
3047 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: August 2013

@Weetzie: I don’t even want to think about how she must feel right now, but at least it sounds like she has a strong support from the remainder of the family. That can mean everything in a situation like this!

Post # 11
2429 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: June 2009

:(… I will never understand how or why parents think it is ever acceptable to treat their adult children like this!

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