DH's female friend

posted 3 years ago in Relationships
Post # 3
Member
6812 posts
Busy Beekeeper
  • Wedding: June 2014

Oh.. hells no. Your DH is so out of line. Who the FK does this girl think she is? She obviously thinks she’s your DH’s number 1 – probably bc they’ve been friends longer than you have known him. But, WHO FKN CARES, she is NOT his wife. She needs to respect the relationship more. I would really be throwing fits about this shit. A GOOD female friend would say things like, “I can’t wait to meet your wife!” and “I’m so glad you’re moving closer to us, now I get another girlfriend to hang out with!” and “You will LOVE my hubs.” What a catty little bitch. She thinks she owns your DH and that you are essentially replaceable, but she is not. The person who needs to fix this is your DH. He should be coming to YOU with his problems (if he wants to go to her, in addition, that’s fine).

Post # 4
Member
238 posts
Helper bee

It seems like she’s using your husband to compensate for the lack of emotional intimicacy she has with her own husband. Sorry, but my FH is my BEST friend. We talk about everything and everyone (sadly lol). If she openly admits to ditching her own husband to hang out with yours then its obvious she just doesn’t connect with her husband. 

The whole “I hope I can tolerate [you]” bit is unacceptable. Your husband should’ve let her know it doesn’t matter if she gets along with you because what he has with you is on a completely different level. It’s not like you’re all high school friends and those 2 decide who gets to sit at the lunch table. Her opinion about you should be irrelevant.  

She seems like she has issues and wants to make sure she’s the only female your husband really associates with. Not cool in my opinion, especially if she makes no effort to get to know you. Bitch would have to go!

One of FHs ex-turned-friend tried to pull that mess and I told him its her or me. Let’s just say she was ditched on multiple occassions and she got the hint very quickly with as little embarrassment possible. 

Post # 7
Member
4827 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: June 2013 - Upstate NY

@TexasSpringBride:  Red flags all around. I would be PISSED if my husband hung out with a woman, especially an insecure, possessive one like her. I woud definistely try to nip that it the bud.

Post # 8
Member
6812 posts
Busy Beekeeper
  • Wedding: June 2014

@TexasSpringBride:  

@TexasSpringBride:  

I think these two updates are pretty clear that she wants your husband. I’m not saying he would leave you for her, if he wanted her, I’m sure he could have had her already. I just think her behavior is disgusting and he needs to put her in her place. You’re #1 now and she will never even make the list (not with that attitude anyway)!

Post # 9
Member
2973 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: May 2014

@TexasSpringBride:  Uhm, I saw this and I thought your husband should see it :

This b**** needs to go. I don’t get all diva-ish with over the top statements like “B**** I WILL CUT YOU”…but in this case, I will make an exception. Your husband needs to learn that a unhappy woman who has no boundaries, nor respect for women as a whole (obviously) has no place being his friend. Much less his confidant. She sure as hell will not be the one to judge the compatibility of a friend’s wive(s).

I am so mad right now. 

Post # 10
Member
1706 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: December 2012

@TexasSpringBride:  Umm I would put money on her being in love with your husband, there’s no if about it. He needs distance from her or this will be big time trouble. She couldn’t have him so she found someone like him and she spends all her time talking to your husband. She needs to move on.

Post # 12
Member
7282 posts
Busy Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 1999

I have nothing aganist opposite sex relationships, but she is out of order. I defintely see why you have reservations.

Post # 13
Member
6812 posts
Busy Beekeeper
  • Wedding: June 2014

@TexasSpringBride:  Well, to answer your original question, I don’t think you’re overreacting. Just see if it becomes a problem. But really, I would be pissed at my FI if he let a woman talk about me as if I’m some interchangeable accessory – “I hope I can tolerate her” and “She can stay home with my husband so YOU and I can go out and actually have fun” are NOT statements that are ok in my book.

Post # 14
Member
1013 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: May 2013

@TexasSpringBride:  Yeah, I would NOT be okay with this. Take comfort, though, that since your husband is so oblivious to her inappropriate behavior, he has told you all about it so you know exactly the kind of person she is and didn’t have to find out the hard way once you moved closer to her. Yikes!

Post # 15
Member
442 posts
Helper bee

Something that hasn’t been addressed – how does he respond when she says things like that? Of one of SO’s friends said “I hope I can tolerate her”, he would defend me in a heartbeat and put her in line. You’ve never mentioned what he says in response, and I think that’s a very important aspect of figuring out if this is already a big problem or if he is more or less handling it. If he doesn’t defend you immediately to her, he needs to get his priorities straight. One time my boyfriend thought he heard someone insult me and got really heated until he realized he misheard it. That’s how he should react. 

Post # 16
Member
2394 posts
Buzzing bee

@TexasSpringBride:  

Now we are moving near them and she text DH and said, ” I hope your wifey is a homebody, she can keep “A” (her husband) company while you and I head out and spend the night with “R” at their place. 

 

 

 Over-reacting? Over-reacting???? Oh hell NO you’re not over-reacting! 

I would have no problems whatsoever telling DH that you will not tolerate him getting texts like this from a woman like that. Tell him to block her or delete her.

Just put your foot down! 

 

And about this:

 

@TexasSpringBride:  

DH thinks it rather funny and that Im just jealous.

 

 

Let him know it’s NOT funny, and he can wipe that smile off of his face. It drives me NUTS when guys allow other women to do this, under the guise that they’re just “friends.” Bullsh%t!

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