Post # 1
So DH and I were cleaning out our basement this past Saturday and we came across a scrapbook that DH’s ex had made for him about their relationship. He stopped to look at it for about 10 minutes and I asked him what he was going to do with it (we had a “keep” and “throw away” pile). He said he wasn’t sure and placed it to the side.
He then brought it upstairs and set it on our kitchen table and ignored it until today. I asked him to please toss it or move it since I was tidying up, but he didn’t and several hours later I asked him again and he said he would toss it. (I was getting tired of walking by and seeing a huge picture of them kissing every time I went into the kitchen! haha!) However, he then took it back down into the basement and put it in a box for safe keeping.
I mean, I don’t really care seeing as I never met the girl and she is obviously not a threat on our marriage, but I think it’s odd that he is so reluctant to give it up. They did not end on good terms, and have not been in contact since. Maybe it’s just me, but after my ex and I split I kept some things for a couple months but after I had moved on I had no desire to keep anything of his and tossed it when I packing to move to a new apartment.
Is this common? Do you bees or your SO’s keep scrapbooks, pictures, mementos, etc. from past relationships? Do you go back and look at them, or do they just sit in a dusty box somewhere?
Post # 2
I made my ex scrapbooks when we were dating, I wonder where they are now… I threw away pretty much everything after my ex and I broke up but I did it in the heat of the moment. I admittedly look back on a few pictures now and then because we did have a good relationship and they are good memories. I don’t think I would keep an entire scrapbook because that just seems like too much to me and I would probably find it strange if my husband kept one because he isn’t very sentimental.
Post # 3
DH doesn’t have anything left over from any of his ex’s. I on the other hand have a pair of socks. Never saw the need to toss out a nice pair of socks, but all pictures and stuff is long gone. If their relationship didn’t end on good terms, it could be a part of him hasn’t settled over it. Sometimes people just hold on without realizing it. Just talk to him and see what’s going on and if he wants to talk.
Post # 4
hollyberry4: i dont, i dont think i have anything from an ex?
But I just moved and had been holding onto a box for my cousin for the last few years. I called her and asked if she wanted it back – this was her and her ex’s box. From highschool.
We went through it and most stuff she threw out, but she kept the scrapbook she made – which literally contained every letter they had wrote to eachother and even candy wrappers from goodies he has given her – she saved EVERYTHING in that book. movie ticket stubs, business cards etc.
They havent talked in several years (per his request) and they are both married to other people. Her now husband doesnt know about the contents of the box, but i think it is fun to look back on your high school days and reminice.
Post # 5
leisha606: wow candy wrappers? That is nuts haha! His relationship was until late senior year of college and they dated for over 3 years so it was quite serious.
I’m not going to mention it because he will probably just get a little pissy and throw it away if I bring it up. As long as it’s no longer sitting on our kitchen table I am good haha
Post # 6
hollyberry4: DH burned his wedding photos from his first marriage (well, he tried. The wind kept catching them so he had to settle for dumping them in the bin instead, lol) as they ended on bad terms (her cheating shortly after the wedding) so there are no positive memories for him there. I would be a bit iffy about my husband keeping a scrapbook of a previous relationship..if it was just going to be kept in a box and never opened maybe that would be ok.
Post # 7
- Wedding: June 2014 - San Francisco, CA
My DH and I both have shoeboxes stuffed with crap from our exes. Some good memories, some bad, all of it stuff that helped us learn who we are as people and in relationships. We’ve both thought about doing stuff with the boxes, but eh, there’s other shit to spend your Saturday afternoon on.
I wouldn’t be too worried about your DH having the scrapbook unless he starts obsessively thumbing through it or trying to hide the fact that he wants to keep it from you. That’d be odd. But just keeping it? NBD. His exes helped prepare him to be the person he is now, the person who loves you above all others. It shouldn’t be a big deal 🙂
Post # 8
hollyberry4: ugh, dh has a painting his ex from like 10 years ago made for him. I wont let it see the light of day so it sits in his closet. Idk why he doesnt just get rid of the damn thing. I mean, its no picasso!! He hasnt spoken to this girl in the 7 years we have been together! He doesnt even like art! It was a preteen fling. Get over it dh. He has this idea of hanging it someday. I have this idea of an “accident” happening in the closet.
well, thanks for letting me vent on your thread!
my dh is really lovely, honestly. I havent thought about that darn painting in the 3 years since we moved. Out of sight, out of mind.
Post # 9
Lollybags: haha I’m picturing all of the pictures blowing away from the fire! How frustrating! DH likes to keep EVERYTHING so it’s not exactly uncharacteristic of him or surprising. I’m the one who likes to throw stuff away and hates clutter.
Post # 10
- Wedding: December 2014 - Columbia, SC
hollyberry4: There is a box of stuff from my first wedding in our storage building, saving it for our kids. I never look at them.
Post # 11
Miss-Joker: bahahaha an “accident” happening in his closet! Hilarious!
Post # 12
hollyberry4: DH is sitting right next to me as i type this…. he has no idea…… Lol
Post # 13
It’s a personality thing. I keep mementos if everything, including some exes. I don’t miss them or harbor feelings for them. I just like to remember thst part of my life, Like all others. If I lose touch with a friend, I don’t throw away all pictures of them. I likely went to parties or concerts or trips or whatever, that I want to remember. Sounds like your guy is the same way – a memento saver. Says more about his personality than their relationship.
So let it sit in the basement. It’s not like he put it in his bedside table.
Post # 14
hollyberry4: I only kept something nice menorah an ex’s mom gave to me. I was going to get rid of it but FI thinks it’s nice and I should keep it! I also have a sweatshirt she gave me. It’s very nice so I wanted to keep it 🙂 but that’s it!
Post # 15
I have made an ex a scrapbook while we were dating. I made a color photo copy of it so I could have a copy of it too. I guess it’s sitting in a box somewhere. If I’m moving and I come across it, I might look at it for a few minutes. Would I throw it away? I don’t know, I think I have every birthday card I have received since middle school and I’m not a throw it away person- I am kinda a memory hoarder. But at the same time, my FI doesn’t have anything to worry about.