Post # 1
Long story short, because Darling Husband owns a business in Canada but we got married last year and he moved to the US, he got a Canadian tax bill that is more than an average person’s annual salary. Darling Husband has the money in savings to pay it, but I am so completely wracked with guilt that I want to break down crying every time I think about it.
Before we got married and we would discussed which country to live in, the financial benefits of me moving to Canada was on the table, but neither of us had any idea how big of a hit he would take to move to the US, so it was hard to quantify. He also gave up a lot of other things to move here, a much shorter commute, being 2 minutes from his family and friends…etc. But at the time it seemed worth it because our current home is 1/2 way between our jobs and our families, plus we love our house and our neighborhood.
But now I feel like I’ve asked him to make a way bigger sacrifice than he was prepared for. He has worked so hard to save that money and it’s all going straight into the gov’t pockets. Nevermind that he doesn’t even live in the country anymore, so he doesn’t get the benefit of those taxes at all!
Moving back is not really an option. 1) We just finished the Green Card process in December and it was expensive and emotional and I don’t think we could just walk away from it and 2) It wouldn’t help get the taxes back.
He is being really good about it, but I can tell that inside he is upset and I’m afraid he is going to resent me for all of the sacrifices he has made.
I’m at a loss….
Post # 3
Awww sweetie. ((hugs)) That sucks!!!! Taxes up here are very very high, you’re totally right, and it would certainly suck to not be able to benefit from what you’re paying for (health care, etc). I’m not sure I have a lot of suggestions…….. Is it possible for him to move the business to the States? Can he do that with a green card? I know it’s really complicated, my friend and her husband are just about to embark on this (they’re both Canadian but she’s going to be working as a prof in Michigan and her husband is an author and editor/publisher, so it’s been complicated trying to figure out what country is best to run the company from and what’s allowed!).
Post # 4
That sucks! I don’t mind paying high taxes because it’s a nice problem to have but it’s not worth it to you at all when you are not living in Canada.
I don’t think you should feel guilty, this isn’t a decision that you pushed him into (I hope) but one that you both made as a couple based on what is best for you. Have you told him that you feel guilty?
Does it help for next year to put his income into RRSPs? That’s what saved my SO from having to pay any taxes this year.
Post # 5
Awww, I am so sorry to hear about the huge tax bill. The thing is, it’s done. There is no going back and undoing the huge bill. So the best you can do is mourn the loss of his savings and move on. You chose the right location for the two of you and in the end it will pay off. Maybe you can talk to an accountant to see if there’s anything to be done about it, but usually governments don’t like giving discounts.
Taxes make me furious. I am not naive, and I do love our country. But I just don’t understand how it’s now considered okay to take almost half of my paycheck AND sometimes charge me at the end of the year. It’s like I worked so hard getting my degree and working my way up the corporate ladder for nothing. The more I make, the more they take. It’s a vicious cycle.
Post # 6
@moderndaisy: Don’t even get me started on taxes lady. You know as NY’ers we get really effed when it comes to taxes. I don’t mind federal. But state, and local??!! So when my friends or family members talk about their taxes in TX, I tell them to stuff it. You only pay federal taxes. When I read about how much taxes Europeans/Canadians pay (a lot) but what they get in return, I just want to move to Canada…although not where my friend lives in Calgary. She said it’s lonesome and cold!!
Post # 7
I’m sorry the money issue was just presented to you, but the taxes he was billed were the previous year. So if he did live there he has already reaped the benefits from it.
Post # 8
@Ms. Martian:I haven’t told him how guilty I feel because 1) I don’t want him to feel worse about the situation than he already does (i.e. I have to pay a butt-load of taxes and my wife is upset) and 2) I don’t want to seem like I’m making this about me when he is obviously the one who is affected the most by it. Does that make sense?
I did tell him today that I would like to discuss setting up a payment plan between him and I so I can reimburse him for half of the amount (we keep our money mostly separate) because I am the reason we are in this mess and I don’t want the burden to fall completely on his shoulders. I think it will make me feel better if I can help him build back up his savings, even if it will be little by little over time.
Post # 9
I think that’s a nice idea. Help him pay his taxes.
Post # 10
Is there any particular reason why the tax bill is higher than normal? Is it because he moved? or becausehe got married? I would have thought that would reduce the tax bill
Post # 11
@bells:It’s a crazy Canadian tax law. If you own a business there but you become a permanent resident of another country, you have to pay capital gains tax on the value of your business at the time you move. The good news is that DH’s company is doing really well so it’s worth a lot on paper. The bad news is that he draws a very small salary (to cover living expenses + savings) and reinvests everything else back into the business, so it’s not like we are living large or anything. We’re lucky that he has a rainy day fund from before he started the business or else we would be in default. Both his Canadian accountant and my US accountant have never really seen anything like the amount we have to pay….
Post # 12
I know it must be hard, but please don’t feel guilty. I moved to the US to be with my husband and sacrificed a lot to do so. I gave up the cushiest job I’ll likely ever dream of ever having again, moved far from family, and while not entirely similar to your husband’s situation, had to take on debt that I never would have had to deal with had I stayed in Canada.
I’d never for a second fault my husband for this. With our situation, he could have moved to Canada, we’d have taken home an extra $25,000 a year, I would have no debt and remain close to my family (and oddly enough the same distance from his family that we are now), but in the end this is what we decided. We had been apart for too long and the way I feel is that there was no price too highto pay to starting our life together. To me, the costs of immigrating to the US to be with him were a pretty sound investment! I’m sure your husband feels the same way even while cursing those damned capital gains.
Post # 13
Thats a hard situation and it sucks. Im so sorry you guys are going through this. With that being said. As hard as all these things are, I think it will make your relationship stronger.. When you can get through things like that it makes you learn how to better work together. This is awful that his savings are being depleated, but you can only go up from here. At the end of the day it was his choice to come and he had to have looked into it a bit. Maybe you guys didnt know the hit would be this substancial but he probably knew that there would be one. Dont feel so down.. He can probably see that you feel awful. I can tell just by your psot how bad you feel, Its prolly written all over your face. He knows this wasnt something that you did on purpose to be mean. He could never be mad at that.