Post # 1
SO after almost a year, my DH has confessed that his ring still feels forign to him. He still can’t get used to wearing it, and plays with it all the time. He has asked me if he can forgo wearing it, except on special occasions. Another option would be to get a tattoo, which I have agreed to get with him, but honestly he didn’t seam too excited about this. I amy be able to find one that we both like, and get him on board with this idea.
Normally I’m not a very traditional person. He loves me, and I know he loves me. That’s what counts, right? DO I really need the symbol? But for whatever reason I can’t get the silly reasons out of my head.
First, I know how women think. I know how much they read into not seeing a wedding ring on a finger. It’s silly, but it’s true.
I feel like there are other reasons I am reluctant, but I may need to do a bit of soul searching for them to be completely clear.
Also, my father never wore my his wedding ring, so i didn’t grow up in a household where it was a standard or anything.
Anyone else have a spouse who doesn’t wear his ring? How do you feel about it? Did you agree to his decission? Were you reluctant, and why?
And, anyone with inked rings to show me?
Post # 3
What kind of ring does he have? Has he tried a different kind/thinner metal maybe?
My dad never wears his ring, but I think I would be hurt if DH didn’t wear his.
Post # 4
It’s really important to me for my FH to wear a ring. I would look into other rings… perhaps one that’s a comfort fit and thinner in width?
Post # 5
@Westwood: It’s a thick band and heavy metal. This might be something to try.
Post # 6
My husband doesn’t wear his wedding ring. He’s never worn jewelery and his fingers shrank after our wedding. We haven’t gotten around to getting it resized so he just doesn’t wear it. It really doesn’t bother me; I would probably do the same thing in his place.
Post # 7
My DH only wears it when we go out of the house – if he remembers it that is. I doesn’t bother me. SSure, when I was single I’d check a guys finger before aapproaching but as soon as they said I’m married, I went on my merry way. It’s not a woman’s responsibility to maintain that boundary though, it’s your husbands. Ring or no ring, if e wants to flirt or cheat he will.
Post # 8
MY FI won’t be wearing a ring. He has been briefly married before and didn’t like wearing a ring and doesn’t like jewellery on men in general. I’m cool with it (probaby cos I’m not big on jewellery either, I will only have a wedding ring, no engagement ring). I know some people say but how will other women know that he is taken/married – well the same way they know now. He will tell them. He was approached by a woman at a party the other week who was interested in hooking him up with her friend and he simply told her he was engaged – no harm done.
Even if I did want him to wear a ring I don’t believe in imposing my will in that way so I wouldn’t force him to have one. I wouldn’t get any meaning from something he had been forced to wear. Also, to make you feel better – wedding rings for men only really became commonplace following WW2 🙂
MY BIL got a diamond tattoed on his ring finger (he does have a ring but is plumber so can’t wear it at work etc) but he is really into tatts…
Post # 9
I would definitely give a thinner/lighter band a try if he’s willing. DH has a stand in ring that is cobalt chrome I believe, and he says it feels like he’s wearing a lug nut on his finger when he wears it, lol. Maybe you could try something inexpensive in sterling silver, and if that feels better to him, get something done in palladium since it’s a nice light metal?
Post # 10
I don’t really get the big deal. I understand that you don’t quite get why you feel this way, and it’s fair enough. If you break it down logically, he could cheat on you regardless of whether he is wearing a ring or not. Also, some women will hit on him precisely because he is married. You need to trust him that he will decline any advances.
I would advise against a ring tattoo. They rarely look good, and they tend to migrate a bit and look like a mess after not very long. Many reputable tattoo artists won’t even touch hands for this reason. I think a pretty ring really clashes with a messy tattoo if you decide to wear the ring over top.
My SO doesn’t really care one way or another if he wears a ring. I kinda want him to… to show he’s taken, but that’s about the only reason. We’re still deciding if we’re going to get him one or not. He wore one in his previous marriage and it didn’t prevent him from divorcing (I’m not saying a ring would.. but you know).
Post # 11
@auggiefrog: There are lots of people that don’t wear rings (men and women). So it really matters whether or not it’s comfortable to you in your relationship. For me, I wouldn’t like it. Because I just wouldn’t and no it doesn’t mean I think he’s a cheater. We already had a thread about men not wearing rings and it went that way.
In my dating life I would never have purposely flirted with a married man. I am a BIG flirt. But if the guy’s not wearing a ring why would I think he’s married? I think flirting is natural. I don’t usually do it with an intent of making something happen. But if I knew a guy was married I would make sure to be respectful of his marriage and not flirt. Flirting does sometimes lead to one person getting the wrong idea. I never was one to straight out hit on guys, but there are PLENTY of girls that do.
Post # 12
Thanks for your replies. It’s making me feel a bit better about giving him the go-ahead.
I did tell him he didn’t have to wear it on his two week bussiness trip that he is on right now. He said he would (except when he was working in the machines), because he felt it was more important to wear it when he was away, as it was something the think of me by. I thought that was sweet of him.
I’m not worried about cheating. I guess it’s more about what the society pressure to follow the status-quo.
Post # 13
Do many people really look at your hands to see if you are married? I have never really considered it, and honestly quite a few people who are married don’t wear rings for whatever reason. It wouldn’t bother me in the slightlest if FH didn’t want to wear a ring.
Post # 14
My DH can’t wear his ring to work (he works in a power plant) so he rarely wears his ring. He tries to remember on the weekends but he’s so used to NOT wearing it that it’s hard for him to remember. It honestly doesn’t bother me at all, but I love it when he remembers.
Post # 15
I have never seen my mother’s engagement ring (nor do I know if she even had one) and I have never seen my parents wear their wedding rings (I don’t even know what the rings look like!). So to me, not wearing rings is the norm.
Post # 16
my hubby doesnt wear a ring because hes a builder so its a safety thing, and he doesnt wear one in the weekends or anything either. he has one – we brought a cheap one for the wedding ceremony and wedding day but other than that nah, and i couldnt care less 🙂