@newcitylights: You’re not crazy and it’s very common. You’ll only do yourself harm by imposing these negative stereotypical titles on yourself. It’ll make it worse and you put yourself into a box. Don’t single yourself out.
First, you need a new therapist. haha.
Things are okay. I suffered from panic attacks for a LONG time and I generally just… obsess, and I’m an anxious person. You know what helps? “It doesn’t matter.” haha. Most people don’t think as much as we do about nothing; they don’t obsess, don’t care. These thoughts… can you control the things you think about, or can do anything about them? How would these things affect you? Typically, they don’t matter. If you’re not sure, try to analyze them and figure out whether that makes sense or not. Like maybe you’re obsessed that all bread will make you fat, and you can’t eat any bread. Is there any merit to that? Maybe some research will help.
What about work?
What about his ex?
Maybe you can talk to him about the ex stuff, depending on what it is, and break down what is causing your thoughts.
Most of the things that we obsess about just don’t matter that much. It’s not the end of the world, no matter what. You have to remember “It’ll be fine.”
Damage is done. Can’t do anything about it except try to learn from your mistakes. If you obsess/freak out and get into this cycle, you will do more damage. You have to remember that it’ll be okay. Try to think before you act… it’ll help with regretting your actions.
Good rule of thumb… if you’re feeling crappy about not being engaged or want to lash out at him, wait a day or two. If it doesn’t pass in two days, you should be cool and collected enough to discuss it instead of lashing out at him. Acting on feelings alone is dangerous. If he asks what’s wrong, explain calmly what is going through your head, and that you’re trying to let those thoughts go and not entertain them.
Another thing to think is to sort your obsessions into things you can somehow control and things you can’t control. Another is, what are you obsessing about? Are you obsessing because something isn’t right, or because you’re afraid of something, or because you can’t figure it out? Start disecting these thoughts and obsessions; break them down. Keep asking yourself “why?” when they come up… it might help.
For instance. “I’m crazy! I’ll have problems forever because I’m crazy!”
Why do you assume you’re crazy? What makes crazy? Was Einstein crazy? What’s so bad about being crazy, if you are? If someone else had an anxiety disorder, would you think THEY were crazy?
Stuff like that…
And get a new therapist. lol